(no subject)
Ok...honestly....this is just to rant.
I don't care who reads this...
Just know I'm not going to explain anything.
I do NOT need any empty, sympathetic words.
Don't you dare try to make me feel better with any fluffy, sweet words.
i am royally pissed...
LET ME BE PISSED!
firstly...
i find myself quite pampered.
i have a relatively good family...
my friends are kickass...
i have absolutely no signs of any financial problems...
i'm not mentally ill...
i'm not physically inept...
my grades are tolerable...
i'm president of stage crew...
president of anime club...
girls' captain of fencing...
i've been nominated as one of the candidates for this year's Arts Awards...
i've had a boyfriend before...
i think i'm a pretty good friend...
i thought i have a pretty good sense of humor...
i'm responsible...
i'm not horrendously ugly...
sure, i can go on a diet, but i'm not THAT hideous...
my parents aren't divorced....
and they're still alive...
no one in my family has a terminal illness...
my parents usually pamper me...
and i'm not this narcissistic in real life!!!!
see this? i have a pretty damned good life.
so why does it feel like none of this matters right now?
i regret hiding that orb of light...
i regret trying to lock it all inside...
i regret...i regret so hard...
the goddamned light just turned itself into a dark hole...
it's sucking all my thoughts...
stripping me of my sanity....
lol. i'm laughing with tears...
it's not supposed to be...
but i laugh like something is hysterically humorous...
i wonder what's so goddamned funny?
i really should try to find that switch...
that switch to calm me down...
reality?
fantasy?
fantastical reality?
realistic fantasy?
i don't care which...
just take me from my pain...
and relocate me to a place far away from it...
hahahhahahahahaAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.
I don't care who reads this...
Just know I'm not going to explain anything.
I do NOT need any empty, sympathetic words.
Don't you dare try to make me feel better with any fluffy, sweet words.
i am royally pissed...
LET ME BE PISSED!
firstly...
i find myself quite pampered.
i have a relatively good family...
my friends are kickass...
i have absolutely no signs of any financial problems...
i'm not mentally ill...
i'm not physically inept...
my grades are tolerable...
i'm president of stage crew...
president of anime club...
girls' captain of fencing...
i've been nominated as one of the candidates for this year's Arts Awards...
i've had a boyfriend before...
i think i'm a pretty good friend...
i thought i have a pretty good sense of humor...
i'm responsible...
i'm not horrendously ugly...
sure, i can go on a diet, but i'm not THAT hideous...
my parents aren't divorced....
and they're still alive...
no one in my family has a terminal illness...
my parents usually pamper me...
and i'm not this narcissistic in real life!!!!
see this? i have a pretty damned good life.
so why does it feel like none of this matters right now?
i regret hiding that orb of light...
i regret trying to lock it all inside...
i regret...i regret so hard...
the goddamned light just turned itself into a dark hole...
it's sucking all my thoughts...
stripping me of my sanity....
lol. i'm laughing with tears...
it's not supposed to be...
but i laugh like something is hysterically humorous...
i wonder what's so goddamned funny?
i really should try to find that switch...
that switch to calm me down...
reality?
fantasy?
fantastical reality?
realistic fantasy?
i don't care which...
just take me from my pain...
and relocate me to a place far away from it...
hahahhahahahahaAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAH.