life sux (again)....
Today is monday the worse day of the week at least for me....I really hate school. The bad thing is it isn't the schoolwork. It is being there. I feel like crap walking through the halls like everyone judges me. I dunno maybe others feel the same but I dunno. I can't stand all of this stress I'm feeling. It's unbearable. It seems like nobody is at school I can relate to. Except Alex but I don't see her at all. I love my friends and all but why am I the one always making the attempts? I see all of these problems and I can't solve any of them. When I can't solve all of the crap in my life I try to help others and I do even worse for them. I'm just not gonna try any more. I will always be here for people when they want my help. I don't want to screw other peoples lives as I did mine already....
New semester coming in a week. wooo whooo :/ I hate my life right now. As positive as I am I can't pull out of this one. It is either I'm so angry I want to just hit something or I can't fight the tears. Half the time I don't even know why I am feeling these things. I want a change in my life I don't know what but I need it more than anything. I just want to leave!!!!!!!!! more than anything!!!!!! I just want to run away and don't tell anyone. Just leave and start a new life without worries or heartbreak or fears. I don't know maybe that I'm older I can see these problems for how bad they really are and I still can't solve them I don't know. I don't know anything at all. The worse thing is that I feel like I have been betrayed by someone. Like someone I told some really private stuff to is spilling it out everywhere. That is my worse fear cause if I thought people judged me before than who knows now....maybe next semester with new classes new people n all that will get rid of some of this crap. I feel sooooo useless and I can't get rid of it. If I have been betrayed I don't know what I would do. I don't know if I will be able to control myself againest that person. It is sooo hard for me to trust a person. That is really bad. The person with the most info I didn't really trust in the begining but I couldn't help but poor my heart out that day. I was in really badddd shape. I just need someone to talk to someone I can trust and won't just get a head nod. The running away thing sounds really good right now.....
New semester coming in a week. wooo whooo :/ I hate my life right now. As positive as I am I can't pull out of this one. It is either I'm so angry I want to just hit something or I can't fight the tears. Half the time I don't even know why I am feeling these things. I want a change in my life I don't know what but I need it more than anything. I just want to leave!!!!!!!!! more than anything!!!!!! I just want to run away and don't tell anyone. Just leave and start a new life without worries or heartbreak or fears. I don't know maybe that I'm older I can see these problems for how bad they really are and I still can't solve them I don't know. I don't know anything at all. The worse thing is that I feel like I have been betrayed by someone. Like someone I told some really private stuff to is spilling it out everywhere. That is my worse fear cause if I thought people judged me before than who knows now....maybe next semester with new classes new people n all that will get rid of some of this crap. I feel sooooo useless and I can't get rid of it. If I have been betrayed I don't know what I would do. I don't know if I will be able to control myself againest that person. It is sooo hard for me to trust a person. That is really bad. The person with the most info I didn't really trust in the begining but I couldn't help but poor my heart out that day. I was in really badddd shape. I just need someone to talk to someone I can trust and won't just get a head nod. The running away thing sounds really good right now.....