Sideswiped by Suicide
My friend Joe committed suicide five years ago. The actual anniversary has come and gone now, but something today brought it to the forefront of my mind.
Another friend who is a new father posted on FB about his son's first shots yesterday and how he felt powerless stop his son's pain. I was about to reply about the lessons parents learn about not always being able to take the hurt away from their children when it hit me again.
Joe, with his suicide, introduced both my children to the pain of this kind of loss. I was powerless to eradicate their pain, and could only share in it with them. They both adored him, looked up to him, considered him a dear friend, almost like an uncle. Admittedly, he would have been the crazy uncle who likes to party a bit too much. I loved Joe too, and I get a kick out of knowing that he's in heaven and God is chasing him around, trying to kick his ass. And I'm still angry at the son of a bitch.
How dare you hurt my precious children like that. Your wife. Your child. Our friends. Our friends' kids. I still love you and I'm still angry with you. And I know you couldn't find anyone or anything or any drug to take the hurt away. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you, Joe. But I still love you.
Another friend who is a new father posted on FB about his son's first shots yesterday and how he felt powerless stop his son's pain. I was about to reply about the lessons parents learn about not always being able to take the hurt away from their children when it hit me again.
Joe, with his suicide, introduced both my children to the pain of this kind of loss. I was powerless to eradicate their pain, and could only share in it with them. They both adored him, looked up to him, considered him a dear friend, almost like an uncle. Admittedly, he would have been the crazy uncle who likes to party a bit too much. I loved Joe too, and I get a kick out of knowing that he's in heaven and God is chasing him around, trying to kick his ass. And I'm still angry at the son of a bitch.
How dare you hurt my precious children like that. Your wife. Your child. Our friends. Our friends' kids. I still love you and I'm still angry with you. And I know you couldn't find anyone or anything or any drug to take the hurt away. I don't know if I'll ever forgive you, Joe. But I still love you.