Pen Pals?
(OOC: Part of wayward_au. Dad=Dean=jstliketherifle. This letter is in response to this letter. Slipped into Dean's jacket pocket to be found later.)
Dad,
So I found this letter you write today while surveying my tiny kingdom. Kutner let me out of bed this morning. I'm not allowed out of the room and not even allowed up without a baby sitter. Which I can deal with I guess.
So much for me never reading it. Normally letters aren't my thing either, but it's not like I'm short on time.
Anyway, the point isn't to give you an update on my day. The nurses or one of my apparent bevy of doctors will do that when you make it in. I'll just get to the long paragraph part of things.
I know you didn't want to leave us. It's just that I don't even know how to deal with having a parent so the loss of one was. . .incomprehensible. I'm totally unprepared, you know? We were all talking at your birthday about how we grew up. I wasn't joking when I said it was without love. Sometimes I think people think I'm kidding when I say things like that. So I don't really know how to handle that kind of loss. I was never prepared for it. And I went a little buggy. In the end I don't really have a leg to stand on because I'd throw myself on the grenade for you, Ben or Sam. I try not to be a hypocritical ass.
I know I cling and worry and possibly drive you nuts, but it's hard not to. I'm retardedly terrified that this will evaporate. The Colonel hated that I was emotionally unstable enough to love anyone. We were raised with out it, and showing it only got you punish. A lot. It was something I kinda thought we didn't need outside of our unit. I mean parents are something that people have. So it feels like I've been given a chance and I have to keep trying go live up to it. Like if I try hard enough I'll get to be a real boy? I dunno maybe I'm stuck as an emotionally incompetent five year old?
Saying that you'll want me no matter what? I'm pretty sure is the nicest thing any ones ever said to me. Which makes me sound incredibly saptastic, but it's still true. And thanks. For being willing to listen. Because Manticore comes up all the time whether I like it or not. It was nineteen years of my life. And for taking care of me. No one's ever really done that for me before you.
Alec
Dad,
So I found this letter you write today while surveying my tiny kingdom. Kutner let me out of bed this morning. I'm not allowed out of the room and not even allowed up without a baby sitter. Which I can deal with I guess.
So much for me never reading it. Normally letters aren't my thing either, but it's not like I'm short on time.
Anyway, the point isn't to give you an update on my day. The nurses or one of my apparent bevy of doctors will do that when you make it in. I'll just get to the long paragraph part of things.
I know you didn't want to leave us. It's just that I don't even know how to deal with having a parent so the loss of one was. . .incomprehensible. I'm totally unprepared, you know? We were all talking at your birthday about how we grew up. I wasn't joking when I said it was without love. Sometimes I think people think I'm kidding when I say things like that. So I don't really know how to handle that kind of loss. I was never prepared for it. And I went a little buggy. In the end I don't really have a leg to stand on because I'd throw myself on the grenade for you, Ben or Sam. I try not to be a hypocritical ass.
I know I cling and worry and possibly drive you nuts, but it's hard not to. I'm retardedly terrified that this will evaporate. The Colonel hated that I was emotionally unstable enough to love anyone. We were raised with out it, and showing it only got you punish. A lot. It was something I kinda thought we didn't need outside of our unit. I mean parents are something that people have. So it feels like I've been given a chance and I have to keep trying go live up to it. Like if I try hard enough I'll get to be a real boy? I dunno maybe I'm stuck as an emotionally incompetent five year old?
Saying that you'll want me no matter what? I'm pretty sure is the nicest thing any ones ever said to me. Which makes me sound incredibly saptastic, but it's still true. And thanks. For being willing to listen. Because Manticore comes up all the time whether I like it or not. It was nineteen years of my life. And for taking care of me. No one's ever really done that for me before you.
Alec