Comments | smart_alec494: (<strong class="lj-user"><a href="/read/user/mind_the_muse">mind_the_muse</a></strong>) "Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?"

smart_alec494

(mind_the_muse) "Do you serve a purpose or purposely serve?"

Jun 15, 2008 20:34

- Have you ever been betrayed by someone you love dearly? He sat. Unmoving. He wasn't sure for how long. All time was the same for him. He'd lost them. Slipped right through his blood slicked fingers ( Read more... )

psy-ops, biggs, truth, ally, (comm) mind the muse, reindoctrination, elle, death and taxes, rp, dean, manticore, bits and pieces, 'mawage. that dweam with in a dweam", story line: postcards from the edge, empty rooms, story line: storming the castle, sam, shoddy dna, x5-494, ruby, cece, lost souls, my ass rides in navy equipment, blood family

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idontdig_graves June 16 2008, 19:50:00 UTC

It was a slight give, she could see it but more than that she could hear it in the way he thanked her. She didn't think she deserved it, but still she was going to take it because it was offered. Her fingers scritched lightly at his scalp before she stood up beside him. Her jeans had bunched up around her knees a bit, and tugging them back into place she knelt down to retie her shoes for a moment. When she stood back up this time she exhaled lightly, just letting her body settle for a moment. They could do this, it wasn't as difficult as it felt, but it felt like this was so much more than she even realized.

Extending her hand out to Alec her head tilted to try and meet his eyes again, which wasn't so easy since he was still sort of hunched inward. Shifting her feet a bit on the pavement she moved until she could look at him, "Either give me your hand or the phone, I don't want the gun." Her own had been tucked at the small of her back anyway, Dean had given it to her and she wasn't going to leave it behind. Sure it had been a slight issue on the plane, but she was still registered to carry a weapon... just no one ever assumed she was the weapon.

"We're gonna go home Alec, Ally's waiting."

smart_alec494 June 16 2008, 20:00:05 UTC

He looked up at her final words, then her extended hand. He slipped the phone into his back pocket and then slowly took his hand. In his head it was more than a hand up. It was an agree ment to leave the others to fend for themselves. Like he had been left.

He did his best to haul his own weight up. He was lighter than he should be, but still he outweighted her. He swallowed. "I have John's truck." He tucked the gun away and his hands shook again. "I think you should drive." He didn't feel so well.

idontdig_graves June 16 2008, 22:09:22 UTC

Elle wasn't going to argue with him, she wasn't going to say that he didn't look so hot either. She was pretty sure Ally'd kick his ass anyway if something was really wrong with him. Still she knew that there was something different about Alec beyond the pain and the broken of him. Taking the keys to John's truck she felt like a torch had been passed. It wasn't as if she was going to do anything wrong, but she wasn't even allowed to start the Impala... which she could've done without the keys.

She made sure the hotel room was empty, finding a few bags from when they'd headed out there for the fight. Those last remainders of all of them as a group were hard to toss into the back of the truck, but she did it. She did it so that Alec didn't have to.

Once they were both in the truck Elle started it up and headed out onto the road back to Terminal City. She didn't play the radio, or any of the tapes that were scattered about the dash. The silence was fine for now, and it was going to be a long ride.

smart_alec494 June 16 2008, 23:40:31 UTC

He did feel terrable. He hadn't been taking his pills they way he should. Hadn't been eating the way he should. X5s burned calories like they were going out of style. Alec apparently felt eating regularly was going out of style.

Psycholgists would talk about things like self punishment and secondary gain. About how he didn't eat or take his meds as a sort of passive suicide. The gun, active suicide, was more in keeping with the statistics of male suicide. About how if he was sick then some one would take care of him instead of the other way around. Or that his life was out of control and this he could control. If anyone had asked him the answer would have been simply that he didn't feel like it or that he didn't know.

He watched Elle move the bags and was glad she'd had the brains to do it. Because he hadn't. The truck wasn't the same sacred thing that the Impala was. Alec had driven it while John was alive. So had Ally. But it was still a safe place for Alec. He could still smell John in the seats. It was bulky, steady and strong the was John had been. Like the Impala was slick and feirce, like Dean.

Alec climbed in and curled up in the seat. Back against the door the toes of his boots tresting carefully against Elle's thighs. Just to stay connected.

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