yeah what ever!
HI, how's all out there in the land of the brave? It's pretty lonely here in the land of self pitty and embarrassment. I am so fucking depressed that I don't care anymore. Someone please shoot me and take me out of this missery. No this aint a woah is me post and I don't want any sympathy. I don't care anymore. Like other people say you either like me or you don't plain and simple. I haven't done much lately sat here in my room thinking, writing poetry, thinking about life, what's going to shit on me next. You know the norm of things that I call my life. Dawn's car is fucked up again. I am so fucking tired I can't even get up the nerve and call someone to come look at it for the shame that I feel for not being the responsible one to check the fluids and the other shit that needs to be checked on cars. BUT I look at this way it's not my car why should I do it unless I am asked to? People hate when I sneak around and do shit like that so I have stopped doing it all together. I can't find a job fuck I'm too fat to work for anyone no one wants to hire a fat slob that can't take care of himself. I've thought seriously about moving out of state. Hell I can't even afford to move into a fucking paper bag. I am thankful that I have a roof over my head but who the fuck knows for how much longer. I'm trying to get my license back so that I can go back to work for the state emissions testing place. But every time I tell someone that I am going to do that I get shot down. Like I am a bigger piece of shit than everyone has made me out to be. Ohwell, I guess if you can't beat em join em right? What am I talking about? no one cares about me and my life hell no one reads this fucking thing. There was one good thing that happened to me though, the other night at about 11:00 pm I got a phone from Crissy telling me that Jillian was in labor. I was so upset that I couldn't drive myself over to the hospital but Crissy offered to ask her dad if she could come get me. He said yeah and on the way over here Susan had dialed my number and right as soon as she pressed talk Crissy was gettin pulled over by a cop and the call was set aside. I was on the phone and Susan had set it in her lap and was trying to find the paperwork for the truck and Crissy's license. The cop laughed it off when Crissy said "My sisters in labor, and I have to get Sean" The cop said okay the only reason I pulled you over was because you didn't have your head lights on. I heard the whole conversation it was pretty amussing I must say. So anyway we get to the hospital and everything is going well. Jill was only dialated 2.5cm so at about 1:45 they sent her home. Bummer Jill billy, don;t rush it though cause once the kid comes out you spend most of your life wanting him to go back :) He'll be here soon enough. So that's all that's going on in my life. It's nice to finally have a nephew if I can still call him that :) on the way. Something to look forward to? Okay I am done ranting and raving. Talking about Jill and her baby brought my spirits up so I'm in a better place. bye everyone!!! talk soon