reality hits
and so, a week of being on trial has passed. the term 'on trial' does make me feel some kind of pressure, like my performance is constantly being monitored. thank God everything has been good so far.
i was at jiak kim street from 8am - 8pm today for MILK Run. it's one thing to be taking part in a charity run, and quite another to be involved in organising it. i'm extremely exhausted even though i only walked 4.3km with the families. spent the morning packing hundreds of lunch bags, peeling thousands of bananas and shifting tables, chairs and boxes of water bottles. manual labour in the hot sun is no joke - i salute the organisers of such similar events. but in the midst of all this hard work, i saw the passion of my co-labourers - they are honestly the most passionate team of people i've ever seen, work-wise. despite everything else, you can just see their commitment and passion to the kids and families they've come to know and love. i realised i've said 'passion' 2 times in the last 2 sentences, but that is precisely what struck me most about this organisation. and i'm proud of them. it's no wonder why every single one of these people went through a similar trial. it's more than being able to perform well, more than whether or not you fit in to the organisation - eventually, it all boils down to whether you have the passion and aptitude for this job. you know what, whatever the outcome is at the end of the 2 weeks, i'll accept it without grudges because then, i'll know if i truly have what it takes.
for the past 5 days, i've stepped into more homes than i've ever done so in the past 6 months. homes of people i don't know and who trust enough to let me in. entering into this private part of a stranger's life is a weird feeling. i admit, it's a bit of a culture shock - you are greeted by musty, unventilated air the moment the door opens and as you enter into a living room with nothing but a broken sofa, you have to make yourself feel comfortable with the sofa cushion on the floor. families with 5 young kids in a one-bedroom flat, all sick. woman abandoned by drug addict husband left with arrears worth thousands of dollars. children with no money to go to school. sounds like channel 8 drama serial, but when real life hits you right in your face, it's not funny at all. poverty is a real problem in s'pore. just one week of reality has made me immensely thankful that i'm more fortunate than most. it also made me realised how sheltered i've been and how the society really needs help.
i'm tired. but something inside me has come alive.
"When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me."