H50: Three Basic Rules (gen)
Okay, I feel like I need to explain the hell out of this thing. You'll notice that it's a really, really significant departure from what I usually write. My defense? I had to! They made me! No seriously, it was the first challenge for sd_ldws. The prompt: Write crackfic. Word limit: 300 (And yes, that did damn near kill me. My first draft? 534 words.)
Title: Three Basic Rules
Fandom: Hawaii 5-0 (2010)
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Length: 300
Written for: sd_ldws Challenge #1
Summary: Steve figured there had to be a reason Danny hates the beach, hates the sunlight and refuses to surf, but he never expected this.
Warnings: none
Steve thought the bullet had only hit the headlight, but as Danny’s car died on a moonlit backroad at quarter-to-one, he realized he may have been wrong.
Danny glared at him. “’Only cosmetic damage’. Why do I listen to you?”
Steve hit the hood-release, certain he could repair the damage and get them home before dawn. “I’ll fix it; you sit there and whine. Once I’m done, I expect you to spring for burgers on the way back.”
Danny flipped him off. “I cannot eat this late at night.” He climbed out to watch Steve tinker. “So… what’d you do to my car?” Steve fiddled with a hose - which promptly popped loose and sprayed water on Danny.
“Oh fuck! You did not get me wet!” Danny jumped back, swearing and trying desperately to wipe the water off on anything available.
Wondering how the hell a little water rated that much drama, Steve turned and saw something rolling and pulsing under Danny’s shirt before three little fuzzy balls plopped out.
“Holy shit!” Steve barked, eyes wide. “This is why you won’t surf? Why you hate the Hawaiian sun? You’re a damn Gremlin?”
“Mogwai, fuck-you-very-much,” Danny mumbled as the three furballs uncoiled into small critters with abnormally huge eyes.
Steve blinked owlishly. “Christ, this is where Grace came from?”
“That’s what you want to say to me, right now?”
“That’s what sprang to mind first. This is why you hate the beach. The water, the sun. And no burgers… it’s after midnight.” Steve was practically giddy with figuring it out.
“Yeah, well, I figure, you’re the one with a dark basement for these guys.”
Steve’s eyes got wide. “Wait, did I just become an unwed-father, Gizmo?”
Danny grinned as he got back in the car and Steve went back to work.
Title: Three Basic Rules
Fandom: Hawaii 5-0 (2010)
Pairing: Gen
Rating: PG
Length: 300
Written for: sd_ldws Challenge #1
Summary: Steve figured there had to be a reason Danny hates the beach, hates the sunlight and refuses to surf, but he never expected this.
Warnings: none
Steve thought the bullet had only hit the headlight, but as Danny’s car died on a moonlit backroad at quarter-to-one, he realized he may have been wrong.
Danny glared at him. “’Only cosmetic damage’. Why do I listen to you?”
Steve hit the hood-release, certain he could repair the damage and get them home before dawn. “I’ll fix it; you sit there and whine. Once I’m done, I expect you to spring for burgers on the way back.”
Danny flipped him off. “I cannot eat this late at night.” He climbed out to watch Steve tinker. “So… what’d you do to my car?” Steve fiddled with a hose - which promptly popped loose and sprayed water on Danny.
“Oh fuck! You did not get me wet!” Danny jumped back, swearing and trying desperately to wipe the water off on anything available.
Wondering how the hell a little water rated that much drama, Steve turned and saw something rolling and pulsing under Danny’s shirt before three little fuzzy balls plopped out.
“Holy shit!” Steve barked, eyes wide. “This is why you won’t surf? Why you hate the Hawaiian sun? You’re a damn Gremlin?”
“Mogwai, fuck-you-very-much,” Danny mumbled as the three furballs uncoiled into small critters with abnormally huge eyes.
Steve blinked owlishly. “Christ, this is where Grace came from?”
“That’s what you want to say to me, right now?”
“That’s what sprang to mind first. This is why you hate the beach. The water, the sun. And no burgers… it’s after midnight.” Steve was practically giddy with figuring it out.
“Yeah, well, I figure, you’re the one with a dark basement for these guys.”
Steve’s eyes got wide. “Wait, did I just become an unwed-father, Gizmo?”
Danny grinned as he got back in the car and Steve went back to work.