it's a never-ending circle
New York was amazing. the trip itself was amazing. i loved every bit of it and bonded with so many band people. plus, i was a good girl. hahahhaa to describe how amazing New York's culture is would take a really long time, and that's not why i came here.
i basically have no energy anymore. and for some reason, everything is falling on me NOW. i have the play, even more band stuff, a DIFFICULT band final, AP Exams, trying not to fail my classes, all this college stuff, senior project, my sister's graduation, my graduation, junior prom, senior ball...GOSH! it's a never ending list!!! and my mom really tries to help, but she's making a lot of things worse. like for prom, we made decisions about things...and then she brings them up and changes them! i'm like, what just happened?! and then i get mad at her and she yells at me "i'm just trying to help" "i know that! but you just changed EVERYTHING we had planned" UGH!! everything she does and my dad does just...bothers me. even things that shouldn't bother me....do bother me. it shows i need to get out. and while i was in New York...i missed my parents, but not as much as i thought. and everyone was like "i'm ready to go home" but i wouldn't have minded if i stayed there for another couple weeks or something. i think this is a sign that i NEED to get out. i just need to go to davis, experience something different. cause the life i'm living now is taking me nowhere. i need something different to actually motivate me. and i think Davis could do that.
i have too much shit to do...andwhen i get home, i'm too tired to do it.
what do i do?!?!?!?!?
good night.....*yawn*
i basically have no energy anymore. and for some reason, everything is falling on me NOW. i have the play, even more band stuff, a DIFFICULT band final, AP Exams, trying not to fail my classes, all this college stuff, senior project, my sister's graduation, my graduation, junior prom, senior ball...GOSH! it's a never ending list!!! and my mom really tries to help, but she's making a lot of things worse. like for prom, we made decisions about things...and then she brings them up and changes them! i'm like, what just happened?! and then i get mad at her and she yells at me "i'm just trying to help" "i know that! but you just changed EVERYTHING we had planned" UGH!! everything she does and my dad does just...bothers me. even things that shouldn't bother me....do bother me. it shows i need to get out. and while i was in New York...i missed my parents, but not as much as i thought. and everyone was like "i'm ready to go home" but i wouldn't have minded if i stayed there for another couple weeks or something. i think this is a sign that i NEED to get out. i just need to go to davis, experience something different. cause the life i'm living now is taking me nowhere. i need something different to actually motivate me. and i think Davis could do that.
i have too much shit to do...andwhen i get home, i'm too tired to do it.
what do i do?!?!?!?!?
good night.....*yawn*