(no subject)
Something that I have recently realized.
I use to want to be just like my sister. I just saw her and knew she had a great life! she embraces our arab culture, she knows the language very well, she's a great student, goes to CAL, has awesome friends (yes erika, that's you.), is very sociable, and the list goes on.
I wanted to be just like that. But everytime I thought about myself or looked at myself, I was disappointed. I wasn't anything like her. I was almost the opposite. I'd bring myself down so much because I wanted to be her and I wasn't.
But the ironic thing was, I fight with my parents about how I am NOT like her, that I am very different and they need to realize that. But how can they see it when I can't even see it?
Last night, my sister talked about how we were different. It started when we began talking about college essays. One thing I am considering writing about is how I don't want to be in my sisters shadow anymore. The conversation lead to how she embraces arabic culture more than I do. In my heart, I hated hearing that. I felt ashamed because it's true, she does embrace it more. Don't get the impression that I do not embrace it at all. I love being arabic and I love my culture. I just can't speak the language and I don't have many arabic friends.
But my sister said something that made me think. She said, "Hanya, you embraced the american culture more. You're a better writer than me and your first language was english, whilemine was arabic. But there's nothing wrong with that. plus, you can always take arabic classes in college."
That whole thing, as long as it is, made me realize how different my sister and I are and how, as much as I admire her, dont exactly want to be like her.
I came home feeling good that night because 1) I can be ok with not being Hanadi 2) I have a college essay topic that might be good and 3) that I know I can talk about ANYTHING with my sister. She is truly my BEST FRIEND. and I want her to know that I love her with all my heart and am here for her always! Just like she has with me.
Thanks Hanadi, though sometimes you're a pain in the butt, you're my favorite pain in the butt. Thanks for helping me, with EVERYTHING. You are my best friend, and the sister that I will never lose love for.
I Love You!
- Hanya
p.s. If this makes no sense to some of you, it's ok. It was for me and my sister.
I use to want to be just like my sister. I just saw her and knew she had a great life! she embraces our arab culture, she knows the language very well, she's a great student, goes to CAL, has awesome friends (yes erika, that's you.), is very sociable, and the list goes on.
I wanted to be just like that. But everytime I thought about myself or looked at myself, I was disappointed. I wasn't anything like her. I was almost the opposite. I'd bring myself down so much because I wanted to be her and I wasn't.
But the ironic thing was, I fight with my parents about how I am NOT like her, that I am very different and they need to realize that. But how can they see it when I can't even see it?
Last night, my sister talked about how we were different. It started when we began talking about college essays. One thing I am considering writing about is how I don't want to be in my sisters shadow anymore. The conversation lead to how she embraces arabic culture more than I do. In my heart, I hated hearing that. I felt ashamed because it's true, she does embrace it more. Don't get the impression that I do not embrace it at all. I love being arabic and I love my culture. I just can't speak the language and I don't have many arabic friends.
But my sister said something that made me think. She said, "Hanya, you embraced the american culture more. You're a better writer than me and your first language was english, whilemine was arabic. But there's nothing wrong with that. plus, you can always take arabic classes in college."
That whole thing, as long as it is, made me realize how different my sister and I are and how, as much as I admire her, dont exactly want to be like her.
I came home feeling good that night because 1) I can be ok with not being Hanadi 2) I have a college essay topic that might be good and 3) that I know I can talk about ANYTHING with my sister. She is truly my BEST FRIEND. and I want her to know that I love her with all my heart and am here for her always! Just like she has with me.
Thanks Hanadi, though sometimes you're a pain in the butt, you're my favorite pain in the butt. Thanks for helping me, with EVERYTHING. You are my best friend, and the sister that I will never lose love for.
I Love You!
- Hanya
p.s. If this makes no sense to some of you, it's ok. It was for me and my sister.