sooo...
so last night was fun. erin couldn't hang out :( but that's alright cause i still love her. but she needs to start cutting swimming cause swimming < kate. heh. so ashley came over cause i wanted her to meet some of my friends. so she came over. then alexis came over to show me her hair cause she cut it and she looks SOO cute and grown-up. and we're supposed to hang out on friday -- i miss that girl. so then jarred, mike, and jarrette came over. and we walked to walgreens to get a camera developed and then we just walked around. ashley left at 9 cause she was going to ALJ for a day today. jarrette left too and the 3 of us just walked around till like 1030. it was a weird night, and whatever happened i'm over it .. so i came home and did all my french makeup work from last night =) and i just woke up.. me and mike are going to get something to eat in a little bit.
last night i was in a really weird mood because the night before me and steph were talking about things from my freshman year [last year] and she was just telling me things i never realized about how.. i cried everyday and was never happy at all and their wasn't one day last year i wasn't hysterical for some reason and just mopped around the hallways. and about how i used to write amanda over 20 notes in school about all the different ways and reasons i wanted to kill myself. i never realized that my whole freshman year was a nightmare .. until i looked back. i don't even know why i was so depressed and messedup. so i started reading over the notes amanda wrote me back and their all about how she's saying all the things i said weren't true about how i thought i was worthless and had no purpose and i need to stop talking like that cause i'm scaring her. and it just hurt to think i actually wasn't doing that for attention and i was THAT upset. well unless you go to UC you wouldn't even have known this because i barely talked to anyone last year that didn't go to my school cause i'm a fuckup. ok done. <3
last night i was in a really weird mood because the night before me and steph were talking about things from my freshman year [last year] and she was just telling me things i never realized about how.. i cried everyday and was never happy at all and their wasn't one day last year i wasn't hysterical for some reason and just mopped around the hallways. and about how i used to write amanda over 20 notes in school about all the different ways and reasons i wanted to kill myself. i never realized that my whole freshman year was a nightmare .. until i looked back. i don't even know why i was so depressed and messedup. so i started reading over the notes amanda wrote me back and their all about how she's saying all the things i said weren't true about how i thought i was worthless and had no purpose and i need to stop talking like that cause i'm scaring her. and it just hurt to think i actually wasn't doing that for attention and i was THAT upset. well unless you go to UC you wouldn't even have known this because i barely talked to anyone last year that didn't go to my school cause i'm a fuckup. ok done. <3