Science of Fear, The 4 Horsemen - Part Two of Two
Title: Science of Fear, The 4 Horsemen (11/15)
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
There was a sudden burst of energy that pulsed through her body and soon Dylan found herself racing from the dance studio into the hall, Brittany calling her name from where she had left her. She ran through the crowds towards the destination she knew her feet were taking her. She navigated gracefully between the crowds of people in her haze until she spotted the object of her anger, standing with her back to her, talking to Finn as he put books away in his locker.
She had no plan for this, her feet had guided her to this spot on their own accord. All she knew was that she needed to find Santana. She needed to hear it from the Latina to confirm what she had learned from Brittany before she could allow herself to believe it. But what she did do, she wasn’t expecting.
“Santana!” she shouted once she was in clear range of the shorter girl.
She watched as Finn gave her a confused look and Santana flinch before turning to face her, “What is it, Dy…”
Her words were cut off from the force of Dylan’s palm hitting her cheek. The sound of the slap resounded through the short corridor and everyone around them froze, turning towards its source. Dylan watched as Santana brought a hand up to her reddening skin, mouth hanging open.
“Dylan, what the hell!” Finn shouted.
“Stay out of this, Finn. This is between me and her,” Dylan motioned between Santana and herself and Finn’s mouth snapped shut. Dylan turned to face Santana head on, squaring her feet, “So tell me, is it true?”
She watched as Santana looked around at the spectators nervously, hand still covering her injured face, “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dylan.”
Dylan tossed her head back and laughed deeply, though part of her didn’t know why. She wanted Santana to tell her Brittany had lied to her. She wanted this to all go away and to just be happy. But soon she realized that the part of her that wanted to bury this all behind them and forget was now locked behind the same bars that once chained the animal standing in front of Santana.
“Oh, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about, you fucking slut,” the words came pouring out of her mouth before she could bite them back.
Santana dropped her hand and Dylan saw a flash of anger in her brown eyes, “I am not a fucking slut.”
“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause you seem to like fucking around with people’s significant others.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dylan,” Santana repeated with more confidence.
“Yes, yes you do. I fucking saw it, Santana, you like marking people up, don’t you.”
That statement caused Santana’s eyes to widen in fear and acknowledgement as the eyes of the spectators furrowed in confusion. Santana took a step towards her and tilted her head down before whispering, “Please, not here.”
Dylan took a step back and took a good look at the girl in front of her. “Why? Why not here? Come on, Santana, we’re all waiting! We’re all waiting for you to explain,” she says motioning to the crowd around them.
“I don’t have anything to explain, Dylan, please just… leave me alone.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“Dylan,” Finn interjected again, “Please.”
“Shut up, Finn!” she shouted at him again, pointing an accusing finger before reaching out and grabbing the front of Santana’s cheerleading top and bringing her face to face, “Now you have some goddamn explaining to do, spark plug, before I go Katrina on your Latina ass.”
Santana fought to get out of Dylan’s grip and she was forced to let the smaller girl go, “There’s nothing to explain! It just fucking happened. It wasn’t my fault!”
“HA! It wasn’t your fault?” Dylan laughed, “You fucking slept with my girlfriend, you fucking bitch, how is that ‘not your fault’?” She shouted.
There were collective gasps from those standing around them and Santana had a look of anger and absolute dread on her face.
“No! It wasn’t me. I didn’t mean to. Brittany, she… she came on to me!” Santana desperately tried to explain.
“I highly doubt that actually,” Dylan made a point to look Santana up and down as she said it.
“It… it just happened!”
“What is this? Groundhog Day? Cause I’m hearing that a lot,” Dylan sneered. “Fucking my girlfriend doesn’t ‘just happen’, Lopez.”
“Jesus, can you shut up?” Santana hissed.
“Why? Embarrassed? Bet you weren’t thinking about that this weekend,” she countered before turning to Finn, “Gosh, Finn, you don’t seemed to be upset over the knowledge that your girlfriend cheated on you.”
Finn’s eyes went wide and he looked anxiously at Santana who returned his glance before shifting awkwardly to the side.
“Oh that’s precious, a beard, Santana? Did you really have to resort to that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Finn understands it was an accident. Unlike you, he believes me.”
“The whole prospect of accidental sex is really escaping me, Santana. Tell me, did Brittany tell you to come over or did you just show up?”
“I… uh,” Santana stuttered.
Dylan chuckled, “Exactly.”
“She’s my best friend! I’m allowed to go over to her fucking house!” Santana shouted, “I’m sick of you trying to put a goddamn leash on me. You have no right!”
“You have no right to sleep with my girlfriend! So no, you’re not allowed over at her fucking house. Or anywhere near her.”
“You can’t fucking control me! ME, I’m in control” Dylan could tell Santana was getting angry now but she couldn’t stop the evil river of words that was flowing out of her mouth.
“Oh, so you’re a top then aren’t you?” There were a few snickers amongst the crowd and she could see Santana fuming.
“Seriously just… just shut up, Dylan,” Santana says through clenched teeth. “It was an accident. I realized it was after it happened...”
“Yeah well that doesn’t make up for the fact that you didn’t realize before it happened.”
“Just fucking drop it, okay?”
“Drop it? You expect me to drop it? You went to my girl’s house, into her room, and fucked her,” Dylan said, slowly closing the space between them so she towered over the shorter girl.
“She wasn’t exactly innocent either you know.”
“Yeah well, you initiated it, so it’s your fault.”
“Whatever,” Santana huffed and crossed her arms.
“I swear to god, Santana, if you go near her again…”
“You’ll do what? Slap me again? Bitch, please, I’m from fucking Lima Heights, I’ve dealt with worse.”
“Yeah, well… test me again and you’ll see where I come from,” Dylan warned. Her caged self howled in disapproval. She might have been from a not-so-pristine city in New Jersey, but she had always kept her hands clean. She would have been able to put up a fight, but she had never needed to.
“Sounds good to me, why don’t I just call Britts up and schedule a date, I’m free tomorrow if you’re busy?” Santana snapped.
Dylan laughed, “I’d like to see you try. I mean it, stay the fuck away from her,” she emphasized her point by giving Santana a sharp push on the shoulders, causing her to stumble backwards a bit before turning to walk away through the crowd.
“You’re just jealous!” Santana called after her, “Jealous cause you know you’re nothing compared to me.”
Dylan turned on her heels just in time to see Santana pull Finn down into a searing kiss with an evil smile as her eyes flashed towards Dylan. The bars on her cage crackled with electricity as her alternative self grew bigger and meaner and she strode to cover the new distance between them.
The second bell signaling the beginning of class rang through the hallway and jerked the audience from their stupor, causing the crowd around them to start bustling again.
“Santana,” she growled as she stopped in front of the Latina. She watched as Santana pulled back from Finn and turned to grin at her. Her grin was the last thing Dylan saw before she felt the sickening crack of her knuckles against Santana’s nose and watched as warm blood started pouring out. Everyone around them froze again. “Fucking bitch,” she heard herself say as she watched the small girl in front of her crumple to the floor, clutching her busted nose.
“Oh my god, San!” Dylan spun around at the sound of Brittany’s voice and saw her standing off the side of the hallway, hands covering her gaping mouth. She had forgotten about Brittany during her confrontation with Santana. She had no idea how much of the conversation the blonde had heard.
“Britt!” Dylan called apologetically, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue flush over her and a sudden painful throb strike her hand. She shook her head and tried to focus, realizing there were no more bars holding her back.
She watched as Brittany rushed past her and collapsed on the floor next to Santana, using the same towel from the dance studio to help stop the blood that was pouring out of Santana’s nose. Blood. Dylan looked down at her hand and saw traces of the red liquid and she cringed.
“Brittany, I…” she tried to explain. But Brittany just glared up at Dylan from her spot on the floor next to Santana who had started to sob violently.
“Shh, San it’s okay, I’m here…” Brittany said, returning her attention back towards Santana and rocking her slowly.
Dylan looked up and around her before locking eyes with Finn. He simply held her gaze and shook his head before dropping his attention to the two girls on the floor.
“Come on, Britt, we should get her to the nurse,” he told the blonde and she nodded sadly, clutching at the small, quivering girl. Together they managed to lift her to her feet Finn cradled her in his arms before making their way down the hall.
Brittany followed after Finn, hand holding on tightly to Santana’s arm. Before turning the corner at the end, Dylan watched as her girlfriend turned her head back and held her gaze. She paused briefly before dropping her head and shaking it, disappearing around the corner.
Dylan watched her leave and felt the pain of what it symbolized. Brittany had just been forced to make a choice. And she hadn’t chosen her.
She had been suspended for punching Santana in the face. Afterwards she had managed to make her way into her father’s classroom and break down in tears, freaking out over what she had done. He was pissed but understood and managed to get Figgins to lessen her sentence to a few days rather than a whole month. He had grounded her though, taking away her phone and Wii. She felt as though she had disappointed him. She had disappointed herself really. Dylan had once been so keen on avoiding situations like the one she had found herself in.
She hadn’t talked to Brittany in three days. She had apparently tried to come by and visit her, but her father hadn’t let her in. He hadn’t let any of her friends in. The only thing she managed to get away with was sneaking onto the internet while her dad was at school. And it was the internet that provided her with the small relief that Brittany still hadn’t changed her relationship status on Facebook yet.
But as she sat in her room with nothing to do and no real means of contact, all she could do was play through the events of Monday in her head. She would lie on her bed listening to songs on repeat in an attempt to replace the memories of what had happened with them.
She thought of her relationship with Brittany and what it meant to her. She loved everything about the girl, even down to the way her tongue would poke out from between her lips when she was in deep concentration. There was so much in their relationship that was good but then she would remember that Brittany had cheated on her with the girl who she admitted to being in love with. With the girl who she had slept with numerous times before Dylan was even in the picture. Just the idea made Dylan gag and choke back the pressure that was building in her chest.
This had been her first serious relationship and the other person had cheated on her. She had never imaged it to hurt this much. This one act of unfaithfulness was practically enough to void all of the good memories they shared. She had given Brittany her everything and had felt herself begin to fall in love with her. When her heart had been floating happily on cloud nine moments before, it was now steam-rolled and torn apart.
Growing tired of the song she had been listening to for the last four hours, Dylan reached over and hit next on her iPod, allowing fate to pick the encore. She sighed as she lay staring at the ceiling of her room and closed her eyes as the song began. She listened, noting every word that was spoken and deciphering it.
She felt a tear run down her cheek as she realized the direction her relationship was about to take. Each line reminding her of how much she had put into making her relationship with Brittany work and what she had gotten out of it in the end. By the time the song had ended the first time and begun again, Dylan knew what was going to happen. And she knew how she was going to do it.
She didn’t have a lot of time before she returned to school the next day, but even if it wasn’t perfect, it would still get the message across. She quickly made her way over to her computer to print out the lyrics before walking over to the vanity on her dresser. The song came to an end again as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The music started once more and she opened her mouth, singing the first words to herself, her fierce eyes piercing back through her.
“Mr. Schue?”
“Um, yes, Dylan,” Mr. Schuester replied, intrigued as her hand shot in the air before he could start practice.
“I have I song I would like to sing,” Dylan explained. It was her first day back after her three day suspension and it was now Friday afternoon.
The day progressed slowly and uncomfortably. There was no way she would have been able to avoid Brittany, they had too many classes together. And she had no idea what the blonde had been up to while she was on house arrest and wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.
After waking up, Dylan’s mind had been set upon what she was intending on doing. She just needed to get through the day first, and Brittany had made it difficult. She had been waiting by her locker when she got to school, so there was no way to delay seeing her until Spanish. They hadn’t said much, but Brittany had hugged her and kissed her lightly on the lips.
All Dylan could think about was where those lips had been and she couldn’t bring herself to return the kiss. Dylan didn’t ask any questions and neither did Brittany, they just made it through the day in silence until Glee rehearsal where Brittany obediently took a seat next to her. Santana had taken her usual spot in the back and as far away as possible. Dylan could still see a bruise on the bridge of her nose as the shorter girl fidgeted in her chair.
“Um, okay sure,” Mr. Schuester stepped off to the side and took a seat at the end of the first row as Dylan stood and dragged her way over to the piano to whisper to Brad briefly.
“Um…” she began, turning to look at fourteen confused faces. She glanced down at Brittany who had a nervous, sad look on her face and Dylan felt her heart skip a beat. It had taken a lot of strength to prepare for what she was about to sing. Part of her was still attached to Brittany, but her heart hurt too much. “I know some, uh, stuff happened this week… and yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
She watched as Brittany and other people turned to look at Santana. The Latina had brought a hand up to cover her face as she shied away.
“Britt, I…” Dylan paused, unsure as to how to continue. “I tried…” she trailed off as Brittany furrowed her forehead in confusion. “Just… this song is for you.”
Dylan turned and nodded at Brad before turning to face Brittany again. She took a few deep breaths before finally opening her mouth to sing, Brad starting perfectly with her.
“Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, oh. Take, take, take it all, but you never give. Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open, why were they open?” She saw Brittany turn her head down and too the side in guilt as the band picked up the beat.
“Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash, you did. To give me all your love is all I ever asked, cause what you don't understand is that I’d catch a grenade for ya. Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'd do anything for ya….
“Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, yes, I would die for ya baby; but you won't do the same,” Brittany turned to give her a sympathetic look. Her eyes were sad and she could see conflict in them.
She could see Rachel and Kurt looking conspiratorially and sadly between each other as the rest of the group listened intently. They could all sense her pain as they looked between her and Brittany.
She ended the second verse and repeated the chorus again, fists clenched as she sang, eyes screwed shut as the word grenade slipped off her tongue. Dylan opened her eyes and took a step towards Brittany, using her hands to emphasize each line as she held her gaze.
Blonde hair fell forward again in rejection as Dylan started the final verse, “If my body was on fire, ooh, you’ d watch me burn down in flames. You said you loved me you're a liar, cause you never, ever, EVER did baby...”
Looking back through their relationship, Dylan realized she had never really felt as though Brittany’s feelings ran as deep as hers. She had still been in love with Santana as Dylan was falling in love with her. How could she possible have ever felt that for Dylan?
“But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya! Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'd do anything for ya. Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for ya baby; but you won't do the same.”
Dylan took another step towards Brittany, singing directly at her, forcing her to look up and hold her gaze, “No, you won’t do the same.” She took another step forward, “You wouldn’t do the same.” And another step, “Ooh, you’ll never do the same.” She was standing directly in front of her now, staring down into sad, blue eyes as she sang the last line, “No, no, no, no…”
The music ended and everyone was quiet. Brittany looked up at her with sorrowful and empathetic eyes. Dylan could tell she felt bad about what had happened, but at the same time she knew Brittany didn’t regret it. And that made all the difference. All eyes were trained on them and she stood starting at Brittany for a few more seconds before clenching her jaw and turning to face Mr. Schuester.
“Thank you, Mr. Schue… but I have to go,” she explained before picking up her bag next to Brittany and turning to walk out of the room.
Once in the hallway she let out the breath she had been holding in. the song hurt to sing, but not as much as the memory of Brittany cheating on her. But she felt a tear escape its prison and roll down her cheek. There had been so many wonderful times with Brittany, and she wished there could be more. Her thoughts drifted to their first kiss.
The song was inaccurate with its lines, for Brittany’s eyes hadn’t been open when they kissed. It had been a magical moment between them and Dylan sighed as she remembered where it had taken place. She wasn’t ready to go home yet, so she opted for returning to the place where it had all began. Ironically, it was the same place she had received the dreaded news of Brittany sleeping with Santana. So it seemed appropriate when she entered the dance studio and flipped on the lights.
The mirrors sparked around the room as they grew accustomed to the new brightness and Dylan walked a ways into the room until she was face to face with a full size image of herself. She noted how dark her eyes were and how hollow her face looked. It seemed appropriate because she felt empty and broken. She reached up and traced the outline of her face on the mirror and she heard the door of the studio click open.
“Dylan?” Brittany whispered.
Dylan broke eye contact with herself and glanced at the new reflection of Brittany standing in the doorway. She watched as the blonde inched her way forward.
“Dylan, I’m so sorry.”
“Tell me, Brittany,” Dylan said, turning to face the blonde, “did I ever mean anything to you?”
“What?” Brittany asked, confused, “Dylan, of course.”
She took a step forward and reached for Dylan who shied away. “Don’t lie to me, Brittany, not now,” she warned, fighting back tears. Brittany continued to look at her in confusion. “I heard what you told Kurt that day.”
“What? What day?”
“In the auditorium. You found me in the hallway after, but I was there. I heard you tell him you were still in love with Santana… part of their world, Britt,” Dylan explained.
She watched as Brittany’s eyes widened in shock and understanding, “you knew?”
Dylan nodded, “Yeah, I figured it out. So tell me… did I ever mean anything to you?”
“Yes!” Brittany yelped, “I mean, of course, Dylan you did. I thought I was getting over Santana. And I really liked you.”
“Liked?” she saw Brittany hang her head in guilt at her use of the past tense. “Yeah, I get it now. How long?”
Brittany shrugged, “It’s hard to explain.”
“So what, you just decided to cheat on me and thought it was going to all be okay?”
“No! Dylan, I swear, that was an accident.”
“Here we go with the accidental sex thing again, I’m seriously still confused as to how that works, Britt,” Dylan stated, crossing her arms and looking harshly at the girl in front of her.
“It… it was like we couldn’t control ourselves,” she tried to explain and Dylan huffed in disgust, “well, like… I’m Brittany and she’s Santana and it… it just happens.”
“You really don’t understand the concept of monogamy do you?” Dylan asked.
“My dresser is made out of mahogany…” Brittany interjected.
“What? Christ, Brittany, no… Cheating, you don’t do it Brittany. Even if she’s ‘Santana’,” Dylan said snidely, putting the Latina’s name in quotations.
“I know! I’m so sorry,” Brittany said. When Dylan didn’t answer she reached forward and attempted to grab her hand again, “Dylan, baby?”
Dylan yanked back again and grimaced at the endearing term Brittany had used. She shook her head, “no, no don’t call me that.”
Brittany’s head dropped in defeat.
“I can’t…” Dylan tried to explain. “Brittany, it hurts so much. I’m sorry… but I just can’t.”
“What does that mean?” Brittany asked quietly.
Dylan sighed and walked forward, past Brittany towards the door, “It means…” she turned to face Brittany. “We’re over, Brittany. I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore. Not with knowing what you did, and how you feel.”
“Dylan,” she heard Brittany gasp as she turned to walk the remaining distance to the door. “Dylan, wait, please, I’m sorry!”
She stopped for a second time, hand on the door frame, “Tell me something, Brittany,” Dylan started, “Did you regret it?”
She watched as Brittany opened her mouth to answer but closed it, unable to answer truthfully.
“Yeah, thought so,” Dylan laughed to herself, “Goodbye, Brittany.” She walked out of the dance studio and heard the door swing shut behind her, banging louder than it usually did. The echo followed Dylan as she walked down the deserted hallway alone.
Pairing: Brittany/Santana, Brittany/OC
Rating: M
Disclaimer: I do not own anything Glee or song related, just Dylan.
Spoilers: Through s02e11
Summary: Fear. It forces you to do things you regret. And that's just what happens to Santana, causing her to run away from the one person she loves the most. Can one stranger help her defeat those fears or will she just lose Brittany to her for good?
There was a sudden burst of energy that pulsed through her body and soon Dylan found herself racing from the dance studio into the hall, Brittany calling her name from where she had left her. She ran through the crowds towards the destination she knew her feet were taking her. She navigated gracefully between the crowds of people in her haze until she spotted the object of her anger, standing with her back to her, talking to Finn as he put books away in his locker.
She had no plan for this, her feet had guided her to this spot on their own accord. All she knew was that she needed to find Santana. She needed to hear it from the Latina to confirm what she had learned from Brittany before she could allow herself to believe it. But what she did do, she wasn’t expecting.
“Santana!” she shouted once she was in clear range of the shorter girl.
She watched as Finn gave her a confused look and Santana flinch before turning to face her, “What is it, Dy…”
Her words were cut off from the force of Dylan’s palm hitting her cheek. The sound of the slap resounded through the short corridor and everyone around them froze, turning towards its source. Dylan watched as Santana brought a hand up to her reddening skin, mouth hanging open.
“Dylan, what the hell!” Finn shouted.
“Stay out of this, Finn. This is between me and her,” Dylan motioned between Santana and herself and Finn’s mouth snapped shut. Dylan turned to face Santana head on, squaring her feet, “So tell me, is it true?”
She watched as Santana looked around at the spectators nervously, hand still covering her injured face, “I… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dylan.”
Dylan tossed her head back and laughed deeply, though part of her didn’t know why. She wanted Santana to tell her Brittany had lied to her. She wanted this to all go away and to just be happy. But soon she realized that the part of her that wanted to bury this all behind them and forget was now locked behind the same bars that once chained the animal standing in front of Santana.
“Oh, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about, you fucking slut,” the words came pouring out of her mouth before she could bite them back.
Santana dropped her hand and Dylan saw a flash of anger in her brown eyes, “I am not a fucking slut.”
“Are you sure about that? ‘Cause you seem to like fucking around with people’s significant others.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Dylan,” Santana repeated with more confidence.
“Yes, yes you do. I fucking saw it, Santana, you like marking people up, don’t you.”
That statement caused Santana’s eyes to widen in fear and acknowledgement as the eyes of the spectators furrowed in confusion. Santana took a step towards her and tilted her head down before whispering, “Please, not here.”
Dylan took a step back and took a good look at the girl in front of her. “Why? Why not here? Come on, Santana, we’re all waiting! We’re all waiting for you to explain,” she says motioning to the crowd around them.
“I don’t have anything to explain, Dylan, please just… leave me alone.”
“Don’t lie to me!”
“Dylan,” Finn interjected again, “Please.”
“Shut up, Finn!” she shouted at him again, pointing an accusing finger before reaching out and grabbing the front of Santana’s cheerleading top and bringing her face to face, “Now you have some goddamn explaining to do, spark plug, before I go Katrina on your Latina ass.”
Santana fought to get out of Dylan’s grip and she was forced to let the smaller girl go, “There’s nothing to explain! It just fucking happened. It wasn’t my fault!”
“HA! It wasn’t your fault?” Dylan laughed, “You fucking slept with my girlfriend, you fucking bitch, how is that ‘not your fault’?” She shouted.
There were collective gasps from those standing around them and Santana had a look of anger and absolute dread on her face.
“No! It wasn’t me. I didn’t mean to. Brittany, she… she came on to me!” Santana desperately tried to explain.
“I highly doubt that actually,” Dylan made a point to look Santana up and down as she said it.
“It… it just happened!”
“What is this? Groundhog Day? Cause I’m hearing that a lot,” Dylan sneered. “Fucking my girlfriend doesn’t ‘just happen’, Lopez.”
“Jesus, can you shut up?” Santana hissed.
“Why? Embarrassed? Bet you weren’t thinking about that this weekend,” she countered before turning to Finn, “Gosh, Finn, you don’t seemed to be upset over the knowledge that your girlfriend cheated on you.”
Finn’s eyes went wide and he looked anxiously at Santana who returned his glance before shifting awkwardly to the side.
“Oh that’s precious, a beard, Santana? Did you really have to resort to that?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Finn understands it was an accident. Unlike you, he believes me.”
“The whole prospect of accidental sex is really escaping me, Santana. Tell me, did Brittany tell you to come over or did you just show up?”
“I… uh,” Santana stuttered.
Dylan chuckled, “Exactly.”
“She’s my best friend! I’m allowed to go over to her fucking house!” Santana shouted, “I’m sick of you trying to put a goddamn leash on me. You have no right!”
“You have no right to sleep with my girlfriend! So no, you’re not allowed over at her fucking house. Or anywhere near her.”
“You can’t fucking control me! ME, I’m in control” Dylan could tell Santana was getting angry now but she couldn’t stop the evil river of words that was flowing out of her mouth.
“Oh, so you’re a top then aren’t you?” There were a few snickers amongst the crowd and she could see Santana fuming.
“Seriously just… just shut up, Dylan,” Santana says through clenched teeth. “It was an accident. I realized it was after it happened...”
“Yeah well that doesn’t make up for the fact that you didn’t realize before it happened.”
“Just fucking drop it, okay?”
“Drop it? You expect me to drop it? You went to my girl’s house, into her room, and fucked her,” Dylan said, slowly closing the space between them so she towered over the shorter girl.
“She wasn’t exactly innocent either you know.”
“Yeah well, you initiated it, so it’s your fault.”
“Whatever,” Santana huffed and crossed her arms.
“I swear to god, Santana, if you go near her again…”
“You’ll do what? Slap me again? Bitch, please, I’m from fucking Lima Heights, I’ve dealt with worse.”
“Yeah, well… test me again and you’ll see where I come from,” Dylan warned. Her caged self howled in disapproval. She might have been from a not-so-pristine city in New Jersey, but she had always kept her hands clean. She would have been able to put up a fight, but she had never needed to.
“Sounds good to me, why don’t I just call Britts up and schedule a date, I’m free tomorrow if you’re busy?” Santana snapped.
Dylan laughed, “I’d like to see you try. I mean it, stay the fuck away from her,” she emphasized her point by giving Santana a sharp push on the shoulders, causing her to stumble backwards a bit before turning to walk away through the crowd.
“You’re just jealous!” Santana called after her, “Jealous cause you know you’re nothing compared to me.”
Dylan turned on her heels just in time to see Santana pull Finn down into a searing kiss with an evil smile as her eyes flashed towards Dylan. The bars on her cage crackled with electricity as her alternative self grew bigger and meaner and she strode to cover the new distance between them.
The second bell signaling the beginning of class rang through the hallway and jerked the audience from their stupor, causing the crowd around them to start bustling again.
“Santana,” she growled as she stopped in front of the Latina. She watched as Santana pulled back from Finn and turned to grin at her. Her grin was the last thing Dylan saw before she felt the sickening crack of her knuckles against Santana’s nose and watched as warm blood started pouring out. Everyone around them froze again. “Fucking bitch,” she heard herself say as she watched the small girl in front of her crumple to the floor, clutching her busted nose.
“Oh my god, San!” Dylan spun around at the sound of Brittany’s voice and saw her standing off the side of the hallway, hands covering her gaping mouth. She had forgotten about Brittany during her confrontation with Santana. She had no idea how much of the conversation the blonde had heard.
“Britt!” Dylan called apologetically, suddenly feeling a wave of fatigue flush over her and a sudden painful throb strike her hand. She shook her head and tried to focus, realizing there were no more bars holding her back.
She watched as Brittany rushed past her and collapsed on the floor next to Santana, using the same towel from the dance studio to help stop the blood that was pouring out of Santana’s nose. Blood. Dylan looked down at her hand and saw traces of the red liquid and she cringed.
“Brittany, I…” she tried to explain. But Brittany just glared up at Dylan from her spot on the floor next to Santana who had started to sob violently.
“Shh, San it’s okay, I’m here…” Brittany said, returning her attention back towards Santana and rocking her slowly.
Dylan looked up and around her before locking eyes with Finn. He simply held her gaze and shook his head before dropping his attention to the two girls on the floor.
“Come on, Britt, we should get her to the nurse,” he told the blonde and she nodded sadly, clutching at the small, quivering girl. Together they managed to lift her to her feet Finn cradled her in his arms before making their way down the hall.
Brittany followed after Finn, hand holding on tightly to Santana’s arm. Before turning the corner at the end, Dylan watched as her girlfriend turned her head back and held her gaze. She paused briefly before dropping her head and shaking it, disappearing around the corner.
Dylan watched her leave and felt the pain of what it symbolized. Brittany had just been forced to make a choice. And she hadn’t chosen her.
She had been suspended for punching Santana in the face. Afterwards she had managed to make her way into her father’s classroom and break down in tears, freaking out over what she had done. He was pissed but understood and managed to get Figgins to lessen her sentence to a few days rather than a whole month. He had grounded her though, taking away her phone and Wii. She felt as though she had disappointed him. She had disappointed herself really. Dylan had once been so keen on avoiding situations like the one she had found herself in.
She hadn’t talked to Brittany in three days. She had apparently tried to come by and visit her, but her father hadn’t let her in. He hadn’t let any of her friends in. The only thing she managed to get away with was sneaking onto the internet while her dad was at school. And it was the internet that provided her with the small relief that Brittany still hadn’t changed her relationship status on Facebook yet.
But as she sat in her room with nothing to do and no real means of contact, all she could do was play through the events of Monday in her head. She would lie on her bed listening to songs on repeat in an attempt to replace the memories of what had happened with them.
She thought of her relationship with Brittany and what it meant to her. She loved everything about the girl, even down to the way her tongue would poke out from between her lips when she was in deep concentration. There was so much in their relationship that was good but then she would remember that Brittany had cheated on her with the girl who she admitted to being in love with. With the girl who she had slept with numerous times before Dylan was even in the picture. Just the idea made Dylan gag and choke back the pressure that was building in her chest.
This had been her first serious relationship and the other person had cheated on her. She had never imaged it to hurt this much. This one act of unfaithfulness was practically enough to void all of the good memories they shared. She had given Brittany her everything and had felt herself begin to fall in love with her. When her heart had been floating happily on cloud nine moments before, it was now steam-rolled and torn apart.
Growing tired of the song she had been listening to for the last four hours, Dylan reached over and hit next on her iPod, allowing fate to pick the encore. She sighed as she lay staring at the ceiling of her room and closed her eyes as the song began. She listened, noting every word that was spoken and deciphering it.
She felt a tear run down her cheek as she realized the direction her relationship was about to take. Each line reminding her of how much she had put into making her relationship with Brittany work and what she had gotten out of it in the end. By the time the song had ended the first time and begun again, Dylan knew what was going to happen. And she knew how she was going to do it.
She didn’t have a lot of time before she returned to school the next day, but even if it wasn’t perfect, it would still get the message across. She quickly made her way over to her computer to print out the lyrics before walking over to the vanity on her dresser. The song came to an end again as she stared at her reflection in the mirror. The music started once more and she opened her mouth, singing the first words to herself, her fierce eyes piercing back through her.
“Mr. Schue?”
“Um, yes, Dylan,” Mr. Schuester replied, intrigued as her hand shot in the air before he could start practice.
“I have I song I would like to sing,” Dylan explained. It was her first day back after her three day suspension and it was now Friday afternoon.
The day progressed slowly and uncomfortably. There was no way she would have been able to avoid Brittany, they had too many classes together. And she had no idea what the blonde had been up to while she was on house arrest and wasn’t sure if she wanted to know.
After waking up, Dylan’s mind had been set upon what she was intending on doing. She just needed to get through the day first, and Brittany had made it difficult. She had been waiting by her locker when she got to school, so there was no way to delay seeing her until Spanish. They hadn’t said much, but Brittany had hugged her and kissed her lightly on the lips.
All Dylan could think about was where those lips had been and she couldn’t bring herself to return the kiss. Dylan didn’t ask any questions and neither did Brittany, they just made it through the day in silence until Glee rehearsal where Brittany obediently took a seat next to her. Santana had taken her usual spot in the back and as far away as possible. Dylan could still see a bruise on the bridge of her nose as the shorter girl fidgeted in her chair.
“Um, okay sure,” Mr. Schuester stepped off to the side and took a seat at the end of the first row as Dylan stood and dragged her way over to the piano to whisper to Brad briefly.
“Um…” she began, turning to look at fourteen confused faces. She glanced down at Brittany who had a nervous, sad look on her face and Dylan felt her heart skip a beat. It had taken a lot of strength to prepare for what she was about to sing. Part of her was still attached to Brittany, but her heart hurt too much. “I know some, uh, stuff happened this week… and yeah, I’m sorry about that.”
She watched as Brittany and other people turned to look at Santana. The Latina had brought a hand up to cover her face as she shied away.
“Britt, I…” Dylan paused, unsure as to how to continue. “I tried…” she trailed off as Brittany furrowed her forehead in confusion. “Just… this song is for you.”
Dylan turned and nodded at Brad before turning to face Brittany again. She took a few deep breaths before finally opening her mouth to sing, Brad starting perfectly with her.
“Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, oh. Take, take, take it all, but you never give. Should of known you was trouble from the first kiss, had your eyes wide open, why were they open?” She saw Brittany turn her head down and too the side in guilt as the band picked up the beat.
“Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash, you tossed it in the trash, you did. To give me all your love is all I ever asked, cause what you don't understand is that I’d catch a grenade for ya. Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'd do anything for ya….
“Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, yes, I would die for ya baby; but you won't do the same,” Brittany turned to give her a sympathetic look. Her eyes were sad and she could see conflict in them.
She could see Rachel and Kurt looking conspiratorially and sadly between each other as the rest of the group listened intently. They could all sense her pain as they looked between her and Brittany.
She ended the second verse and repeated the chorus again, fists clenched as she sang, eyes screwed shut as the word grenade slipped off her tongue. Dylan opened her eyes and took a step towards Brittany, using her hands to emphasize each line as she held her gaze.
Blonde hair fell forward again in rejection as Dylan started the final verse, “If my body was on fire, ooh, you’ d watch me burn down in flames. You said you loved me you're a liar, cause you never, ever, EVER did baby...”
Looking back through their relationship, Dylan realized she had never really felt as though Brittany’s feelings ran as deep as hers. She had still been in love with Santana as Dylan was falling in love with her. How could she possible have ever felt that for Dylan?
“But darling I’ll still catch a grenade for ya! Throw my hand on a blade for ya, I’d jump in front of a train for ya, you know I'd do anything for ya. Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain, take a bullet straight through my brain, Yes, I would die for ya baby; but you won't do the same.”
Dylan took another step towards Brittany, singing directly at her, forcing her to look up and hold her gaze, “No, you won’t do the same.” She took another step forward, “You wouldn’t do the same.” And another step, “Ooh, you’ll never do the same.” She was standing directly in front of her now, staring down into sad, blue eyes as she sang the last line, “No, no, no, no…”
The music ended and everyone was quiet. Brittany looked up at her with sorrowful and empathetic eyes. Dylan could tell she felt bad about what had happened, but at the same time she knew Brittany didn’t regret it. And that made all the difference. All eyes were trained on them and she stood starting at Brittany for a few more seconds before clenching her jaw and turning to face Mr. Schuester.
“Thank you, Mr. Schue… but I have to go,” she explained before picking up her bag next to Brittany and turning to walk out of the room.
Once in the hallway she let out the breath she had been holding in. the song hurt to sing, but not as much as the memory of Brittany cheating on her. But she felt a tear escape its prison and roll down her cheek. There had been so many wonderful times with Brittany, and she wished there could be more. Her thoughts drifted to their first kiss.
The song was inaccurate with its lines, for Brittany’s eyes hadn’t been open when they kissed. It had been a magical moment between them and Dylan sighed as she remembered where it had taken place. She wasn’t ready to go home yet, so she opted for returning to the place where it had all began. Ironically, it was the same place she had received the dreaded news of Brittany sleeping with Santana. So it seemed appropriate when she entered the dance studio and flipped on the lights.
The mirrors sparked around the room as they grew accustomed to the new brightness and Dylan walked a ways into the room until she was face to face with a full size image of herself. She noted how dark her eyes were and how hollow her face looked. It seemed appropriate because she felt empty and broken. She reached up and traced the outline of her face on the mirror and she heard the door of the studio click open.
“Dylan?” Brittany whispered.
Dylan broke eye contact with herself and glanced at the new reflection of Brittany standing in the doorway. She watched as the blonde inched her way forward.
“Dylan, I’m so sorry.”
“Tell me, Brittany,” Dylan said, turning to face the blonde, “did I ever mean anything to you?”
“What?” Brittany asked, confused, “Dylan, of course.”
She took a step forward and reached for Dylan who shied away. “Don’t lie to me, Brittany, not now,” she warned, fighting back tears. Brittany continued to look at her in confusion. “I heard what you told Kurt that day.”
“What? What day?”
“In the auditorium. You found me in the hallway after, but I was there. I heard you tell him you were still in love with Santana… part of their world, Britt,” Dylan explained.
She watched as Brittany’s eyes widened in shock and understanding, “you knew?”
Dylan nodded, “Yeah, I figured it out. So tell me… did I ever mean anything to you?”
“Yes!” Brittany yelped, “I mean, of course, Dylan you did. I thought I was getting over Santana. And I really liked you.”
“Liked?” she saw Brittany hang her head in guilt at her use of the past tense. “Yeah, I get it now. How long?”
Brittany shrugged, “It’s hard to explain.”
“So what, you just decided to cheat on me and thought it was going to all be okay?”
“No! Dylan, I swear, that was an accident.”
“Here we go with the accidental sex thing again, I’m seriously still confused as to how that works, Britt,” Dylan stated, crossing her arms and looking harshly at the girl in front of her.
“It… it was like we couldn’t control ourselves,” she tried to explain and Dylan huffed in disgust, “well, like… I’m Brittany and she’s Santana and it… it just happens.”
“You really don’t understand the concept of monogamy do you?” Dylan asked.
“My dresser is made out of mahogany…” Brittany interjected.
“What? Christ, Brittany, no… Cheating, you don’t do it Brittany. Even if she’s ‘Santana’,” Dylan said snidely, putting the Latina’s name in quotations.
“I know! I’m so sorry,” Brittany said. When Dylan didn’t answer she reached forward and attempted to grab her hand again, “Dylan, baby?”
Dylan yanked back again and grimaced at the endearing term Brittany had used. She shook her head, “no, no don’t call me that.”
Brittany’s head dropped in defeat.
“I can’t…” Dylan tried to explain. “Brittany, it hurts so much. I’m sorry… but I just can’t.”
“What does that mean?” Brittany asked quietly.
Dylan sighed and walked forward, past Brittany towards the door, “It means…” she turned to face Brittany. “We’re over, Brittany. I can’t be in a relationship with you anymore. Not with knowing what you did, and how you feel.”
“Dylan,” she heard Brittany gasp as she turned to walk the remaining distance to the door. “Dylan, wait, please, I’m sorry!”
She stopped for a second time, hand on the door frame, “Tell me something, Brittany,” Dylan started, “Did you regret it?”
She watched as Brittany opened her mouth to answer but closed it, unable to answer truthfully.
“Yeah, thought so,” Dylan laughed to herself, “Goodbye, Brittany.” She walked out of the dance studio and heard the door swing shut behind her, banging louder than it usually did. The echo followed Dylan as she walked down the deserted hallway alone.