trapeze artist
It's the time of daffodils and crocuses. My favorite time. I wish I had a yard. If I had a yard, it would really solve all of my problems. I'd be able to plant a garden, which I've never ever done before. I'd be able to get a puppy (or two), which I know is a big responsibility, but I really think I'm ready for it.
However, I don't have a yard. Which means no garden and no puppy. And I'm feeling a big hole through the middle of me right now. It needs to be filled up with something. I love my friends, but they are busy with their own lives, and besides, I often don't have the energy for social interaction anyway. I love Kevin so much, but I cannot expect to get everything out of life from one source. And I don't. My job is definitely a source of comfort for me, but it's not everything it once was. Which means my decision to go to graduate school in the fall, and to make a career change, is a sound one. But it means right now, I'm just going through the motions, with a big emptiness inside.
Something that does fill the emptiness up a bit is running. It grounds me, and it balances me (maybe that's why Cliff is so gosh-darn balanced--it's all the running). I am running a 10K on August 2, and so are many of my friends. It will be fun. I'm aiming to do it in 45 minutes. That would be a personal best for me. Leading up to that, I'm thinking of signing up for a 7 mile run along the Charles River at the end of June. I would run it at a much slower pace, with a goal of finishing it in under an hour. With all of this in mind, I made up a training schedule for myself yesterday. It officially starts May 11, so until then I need to just get up to 3 and 5 mile runs 5 or 6 days a week. Shouldn't be too bad.
Enough about running. When I was a little girl, my dad built us a swing-set. It was wooden, and it had two swings, and a trapeze in the middle. I started gymnastics when I was 4, so needless to say, I was quite the agile and fearless little kid. I did all kinds of tricks on that trapeze (with two brothers, who were bigger and so therefore usually commandeered the swings, I had to make the best of what I was handed), and I used to imagine that I was the star of the circus.
The circus! I wanted to be a circus performer!
Maybe that explains why I love putting on shows of silliness for Kevin. I will do anything ridiculous or absurd to make him smile. He loves it, although sometimes I get a brief glimpse of fear or perturbance crossing his face, before it is quickly replaced by a smile. I think overall Kevin thinks I'm totally insane, but he finds it amusing, so he's willing to stick around. And that's fine by me.
However, I don't have a yard. Which means no garden and no puppy. And I'm feeling a big hole through the middle of me right now. It needs to be filled up with something. I love my friends, but they are busy with their own lives, and besides, I often don't have the energy for social interaction anyway. I love Kevin so much, but I cannot expect to get everything out of life from one source. And I don't. My job is definitely a source of comfort for me, but it's not everything it once was. Which means my decision to go to graduate school in the fall, and to make a career change, is a sound one. But it means right now, I'm just going through the motions, with a big emptiness inside.
Something that does fill the emptiness up a bit is running. It grounds me, and it balances me (maybe that's why Cliff is so gosh-darn balanced--it's all the running). I am running a 10K on August 2, and so are many of my friends. It will be fun. I'm aiming to do it in 45 minutes. That would be a personal best for me. Leading up to that, I'm thinking of signing up for a 7 mile run along the Charles River at the end of June. I would run it at a much slower pace, with a goal of finishing it in under an hour. With all of this in mind, I made up a training schedule for myself yesterday. It officially starts May 11, so until then I need to just get up to 3 and 5 mile runs 5 or 6 days a week. Shouldn't be too bad.
Enough about running. When I was a little girl, my dad built us a swing-set. It was wooden, and it had two swings, and a trapeze in the middle. I started gymnastics when I was 4, so needless to say, I was quite the agile and fearless little kid. I did all kinds of tricks on that trapeze (with two brothers, who were bigger and so therefore usually commandeered the swings, I had to make the best of what I was handed), and I used to imagine that I was the star of the circus.
The circus! I wanted to be a circus performer!
Maybe that explains why I love putting on shows of silliness for Kevin. I will do anything ridiculous or absurd to make him smile. He loves it, although sometimes I get a brief glimpse of fear or perturbance crossing his face, before it is quickly replaced by a smile. I think overall Kevin thinks I'm totally insane, but he finds it amusing, so he's willing to stick around. And that's fine by me.