A connection with life and a confirmation of existance.
In showing myself Hell, I went to Heaven. In evoking death, I could feel alive. By confronting myself with horror, I was freed to celebrate joy. By confirming my sense of hoplessness and sorrow, I was led to freedom. Or at least I tried all of this...
my life has also fliped right around. The changes are coming fast, sometimes being to unbearable. at least i have the power and strength to turn around and say "Fuck you too world!!!"