. : damn it feels good to be a gangster : .
so here i am, once again dreading school with the depths of my soul. yesterday when my cousin, ben, asked me if i was excited for school, i said i didn't care either way, and that it wasn't something i would get excited about or dread... i lied to my cousin. i don't think i've ever wated something less than i want to go to school tomorrow. i wish i could wave a magic wand and be on spring break forever.
yesterday, when my sister was home, she was talking about how in 8 weeks she graduates from college (with honors, i might add) and she will never be a student again, and that's when it really hit me. i don't get a fucking break until six years from now, and in all honesty, i don't think i'm gonna make it. i think that by the time i am eight weeks away from graduating college, i will be so physically, emotionally and academically drained that i will seriously want to shoot myself. maybe i'm just psyching myself out, and it won't be nearly as bad as i'm predicting it will be, but somehow it just seems that i know myself well enough by now, and i know that i will never be able to survive another six years of this shit. of course, it won't be the same shit, oh no, it will be harder shit, more independent shit. maybe i liked it when i was walked through every single thing, and there was a teacher holding my hand every step of the way. ah well, those days seem to be long gone.
but enough of that. a song that's been going through my mind a lot lately it "i'll be seeing you" even though it's old, my dad just loves it, and i have complete faith in his taste in music, because if i trust anyone to know what music is good music, it's him... this is for you, papa!
I’ll be seeing you;
In all the old, familiar places;
That this heart of mine embraces;
All day through.
In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children’s carousel;
The chestnut tree;
The wishing well.
I’ll be seeing you;
In every lovely, summer’s day;
And everything that’s bright and gay;
I’ll always think of you that way;
I’ll find you in the morning sun;
And when the night is new;
I’ll be looking at the moon;
But I’ll be seeing you.
ahh, so good, well goodnight all, see you tomorrow in hell... i mean, uh, school...
yesterday, when my sister was home, she was talking about how in 8 weeks she graduates from college (with honors, i might add) and she will never be a student again, and that's when it really hit me. i don't get a fucking break until six years from now, and in all honesty, i don't think i'm gonna make it. i think that by the time i am eight weeks away from graduating college, i will be so physically, emotionally and academically drained that i will seriously want to shoot myself. maybe i'm just psyching myself out, and it won't be nearly as bad as i'm predicting it will be, but somehow it just seems that i know myself well enough by now, and i know that i will never be able to survive another six years of this shit. of course, it won't be the same shit, oh no, it will be harder shit, more independent shit. maybe i liked it when i was walked through every single thing, and there was a teacher holding my hand every step of the way. ah well, those days seem to be long gone.
but enough of that. a song that's been going through my mind a lot lately it "i'll be seeing you" even though it's old, my dad just loves it, and i have complete faith in his taste in music, because if i trust anyone to know what music is good music, it's him... this is for you, papa!
I’ll be seeing you;
In all the old, familiar places;
That this heart of mine embraces;
All day through.
In that small cafe;
The park across the way;
The children’s carousel;
The chestnut tree;
The wishing well.
I’ll be seeing you;
In every lovely, summer’s day;
And everything that’s bright and gay;
I’ll always think of you that way;
I’ll find you in the morning sun;
And when the night is new;
I’ll be looking at the moon;
But I’ll be seeing you.
ahh, so good, well goodnight all, see you tomorrow in hell... i mean, uh, school...