A lesson in why humanity is for the humans (Johnny) Requiem
I'd heard it from multiple angles now. They could all see what it was I'd become, it couldn't be hidden anymore. It started with Kincaid. She told me she'd used me too much and that I'd grown too close to the beast. Kincaid's smart, smart enough to know half the time I put on the dumb face so that everyone around doesn't see it coming when I need to be smart. So it took me a little off gaurd when she told me this. Hadn't she seen all along that this is what I was, I was just coming to the point I could accept it?
Alex had told me once that he felt I was too close to the beast and that he wanted to make a pact with me. We'd be the keeper of each others beasts to ensure that neither one of us went too far. And thus far, we'd done a pretty good job of it, outside of both of us falling at a steady rate. But with our line of work, in a city like this, who didn't see that coming?
But then he pulled me aside again. He explained that he thought this horrible monster was coming to Phoenix. This monster of unimaginable power that would finally bring Ole King Arthur's city to it's knee's. I thought at first he was bringing this to me as I'm the sheriff & hound for the imperium, but as it turns out he had an alterior motive. With Alex, there almost always is.
He explained to me that this monster would come. And when it did there'd be no one to stop it, unless, I was just as much a monster as it was. That if I went back into hiding what I really was, it would cost me everyone I care about. But that if I let them all see me for what I truely am, and I reveled in it, I'd have a chance of saving them all.
Then came the chat with Starley. I wanted her to know, I needed her to know the details. If for no other reason so that long after I was dead and gone, she could pass it on. That the monster was a noble one, that he sacraficed for the good of his people, and didn't stay that way just to rebel.
Kincaid had given me a time period in which I had to prove that I could establish that I could hold the positions I did for her and not sucumb to the beast. But with Alex telling me what he had, I was sure she wasn't only going to remove me, but she was going to have me removed. It's what you do with a rabid dog, you put them down. So I needed Starley to know what I was doing I was doing because it's what needed to be done. But that if the Prince had me put down, she needed to tell the others, it's what had to be done, that no one should blame Kincaid for it. She did what she needed to do in order to protect the city, it's what she's always done, and what I was trying to do.
While Starely said it wasn't what had to happen, and it wasn't how it had to go down, she dropped the pretense that I wasn't a monster. She stopped feeling the need to say it, she could finally see it to.
Then came the last meeting with Kincaid. She said she expected me to still work on it. There were no comforting words, excluding that she didn't think the monster would come to Phoenix. What she did say though is that she could still see the monster within me, and she expected it to change. She wasn't cold, she wasn't angry, it was just the way she wanted it to be. I had grown so comfortable with those around me that I'd let them see what it is they let into the city, and now they wanted it tucked back into it's box and put away.
So I tried.
I thought maybe if I engrossed myself in the mortal world, helping, it would change things. So I began.
First I started at a homeless shelter. I donated money, served the homeless food, helped provide shelter. But when a fight broke out between two over a blanket, I broke one of their arms, and was asked to leave.
I tried for about half an hour at a childerens shelter, but the kids were too afraid of me to come near me.
Then I tried at a womens shelter, but they all saw the preadator and were afraid anytime I was in the room.
So I decided the best way to deal with it was to go back to what I enjoyed. I began running the rooftops, bounding from place to place. In each area I'd stop and sniff the air. Patrol always made me happy, it was a time when I could run wild with to constraints, no one telling me what I was supposed to do, nothing to stop me or guide me. Most importantly, no one sitting over my damned shoulder and scolding me for the way I provide the blanket of protection they've lived under for so long.
Then I hear it, and I smile. It's faint, a wimper, then a yelp, then a muffled shriek. I bound over two more buildings and look down. A mugger had pulled a woman into a back alley where the rest o' his boys were waiting. At first it looked like they were just gunna take her money, but then they decided they was frisky, and that's really all I needed. I would have done this either way, but they really made it easier this time.
I drop down and begin to approach. As I do, I trip over a bottle, getting old I guess. They turn and see me, and as they do the begin to laugh. A mid sized man in all black in a back alley, I'd likely laugh to. But as I get closer, and they see the beast that's now made them the prey, the laughter stops.
I look to the girl and say "Honey, if I was you, I'd go ahead and get myself outta here, this ain't fittin ta be pretty." The second the two holding her let go, she's up and gone. Now I can step out of the shadows, I don't care of these punks see my face.
"Boys, I'm gunna make you a deal. You turn around right now, leave my city, and don't come back, and I'm gunna let all of you live. You spend more than three seconds lookin at me funny though, and the lot of you are leavin this alley in body bags."
The looked at each other for a moment then looked back at me. They were thinkin about it rushin me, it was obvious. As they did, I thought about Kincaid, Alex, Starley, and finally my father. What they'd want instead o' what I was about ta do.
I rared up and as I saw one shakingly withdraw a knife, I lashed out. "BOY, I SAID RUN AND DON'T COME BACK!" They turned, he dropped his knife, and they ran. I watched as they ran into the street and turned running down it. I wasn't sure if they would stay gone or not, but I knew I'd taken care o' this for tonight, and that's what was important for now.
I walked out to the street and the woman was still standing at the corner. She just didn't know what to do. I picked up her purse and handed it to her. For the briefest moment, she looked past the monster in front of her and smiled. "Thank you, thank you so much." She reached out to hold me and I grabbed her. "You were never here, this never happened. You tripped on your way home and your clothes were scuffed up, but you weren't attacked and you never saw me."
As I watched her walk away, I wondered if this is how they wanted me to handle it or if what I did was inane, if it'd help or if it didn't matter.
I guess only time would tell...
Alex had told me once that he felt I was too close to the beast and that he wanted to make a pact with me. We'd be the keeper of each others beasts to ensure that neither one of us went too far. And thus far, we'd done a pretty good job of it, outside of both of us falling at a steady rate. But with our line of work, in a city like this, who didn't see that coming?
But then he pulled me aside again. He explained that he thought this horrible monster was coming to Phoenix. This monster of unimaginable power that would finally bring Ole King Arthur's city to it's knee's. I thought at first he was bringing this to me as I'm the sheriff & hound for the imperium, but as it turns out he had an alterior motive. With Alex, there almost always is.
He explained to me that this monster would come. And when it did there'd be no one to stop it, unless, I was just as much a monster as it was. That if I went back into hiding what I really was, it would cost me everyone I care about. But that if I let them all see me for what I truely am, and I reveled in it, I'd have a chance of saving them all.
Then came the chat with Starley. I wanted her to know, I needed her to know the details. If for no other reason so that long after I was dead and gone, she could pass it on. That the monster was a noble one, that he sacraficed for the good of his people, and didn't stay that way just to rebel.
Kincaid had given me a time period in which I had to prove that I could establish that I could hold the positions I did for her and not sucumb to the beast. But with Alex telling me what he had, I was sure she wasn't only going to remove me, but she was going to have me removed. It's what you do with a rabid dog, you put them down. So I needed Starley to know what I was doing I was doing because it's what needed to be done. But that if the Prince had me put down, she needed to tell the others, it's what had to be done, that no one should blame Kincaid for it. She did what she needed to do in order to protect the city, it's what she's always done, and what I was trying to do.
While Starely said it wasn't what had to happen, and it wasn't how it had to go down, she dropped the pretense that I wasn't a monster. She stopped feeling the need to say it, she could finally see it to.
Then came the last meeting with Kincaid. She said she expected me to still work on it. There were no comforting words, excluding that she didn't think the monster would come to Phoenix. What she did say though is that she could still see the monster within me, and she expected it to change. She wasn't cold, she wasn't angry, it was just the way she wanted it to be. I had grown so comfortable with those around me that I'd let them see what it is they let into the city, and now they wanted it tucked back into it's box and put away.
So I tried.
I thought maybe if I engrossed myself in the mortal world, helping, it would change things. So I began.
First I started at a homeless shelter. I donated money, served the homeless food, helped provide shelter. But when a fight broke out between two over a blanket, I broke one of their arms, and was asked to leave.
I tried for about half an hour at a childerens shelter, but the kids were too afraid of me to come near me.
Then I tried at a womens shelter, but they all saw the preadator and were afraid anytime I was in the room.
So I decided the best way to deal with it was to go back to what I enjoyed. I began running the rooftops, bounding from place to place. In each area I'd stop and sniff the air. Patrol always made me happy, it was a time when I could run wild with to constraints, no one telling me what I was supposed to do, nothing to stop me or guide me. Most importantly, no one sitting over my damned shoulder and scolding me for the way I provide the blanket of protection they've lived under for so long.
Then I hear it, and I smile. It's faint, a wimper, then a yelp, then a muffled shriek. I bound over two more buildings and look down. A mugger had pulled a woman into a back alley where the rest o' his boys were waiting. At first it looked like they were just gunna take her money, but then they decided they was frisky, and that's really all I needed. I would have done this either way, but they really made it easier this time.
I drop down and begin to approach. As I do, I trip over a bottle, getting old I guess. They turn and see me, and as they do the begin to laugh. A mid sized man in all black in a back alley, I'd likely laugh to. But as I get closer, and they see the beast that's now made them the prey, the laughter stops.
I look to the girl and say "Honey, if I was you, I'd go ahead and get myself outta here, this ain't fittin ta be pretty." The second the two holding her let go, she's up and gone. Now I can step out of the shadows, I don't care of these punks see my face.
"Boys, I'm gunna make you a deal. You turn around right now, leave my city, and don't come back, and I'm gunna let all of you live. You spend more than three seconds lookin at me funny though, and the lot of you are leavin this alley in body bags."
The looked at each other for a moment then looked back at me. They were thinkin about it rushin me, it was obvious. As they did, I thought about Kincaid, Alex, Starley, and finally my father. What they'd want instead o' what I was about ta do.
I rared up and as I saw one shakingly withdraw a knife, I lashed out. "BOY, I SAID RUN AND DON'T COME BACK!" They turned, he dropped his knife, and they ran. I watched as they ran into the street and turned running down it. I wasn't sure if they would stay gone or not, but I knew I'd taken care o' this for tonight, and that's what was important for now.
I walked out to the street and the woman was still standing at the corner. She just didn't know what to do. I picked up her purse and handed it to her. For the briefest moment, she looked past the monster in front of her and smiled. "Thank you, thank you so much." She reached out to hold me and I grabbed her. "You were never here, this never happened. You tripped on your way home and your clothes were scuffed up, but you weren't attacked and you never saw me."
As I watched her walk away, I wondered if this is how they wanted me to handle it or if what I did was inane, if it'd help or if it didn't matter.
I guess only time would tell...