(no subject)

[smaashley]

I’m not amused anymore
And nothing’s a muse anymore
I sing of love and of hate
But I’m just masturbating my soul

And I don’t want to live anymore
And I don’t want to give anymore
If I fawn, if I flirt, I just keep getting hurt
And it’s taken its toll

I wish I could fuck all my sorrow away
And fuck ’til the dawn of the next fucking day
Fuck the chorus and verse, fuck the pain getting worse
Fuck it all ’til I burn

I wish I could fuck all of you ’til you see
I’m the worst fuck up in all history
Fuck your image and mine, fuck your limp valentine
Fuck it all ’til I learn

I’m not a kid anymore
I don’t know what I did anymore
But on every damn pass, karma bushwacks my ass
And I get it all back

And I don’t want to move anymore
I’ve got nothing to prove anymore
If I run, if I sit, still it all turns to shit
Then it turns to attack

I wish I could fuck all the memory I keep
Fuck the next ten years and just go to sleep
I’m fucked if I do and I’m fucked if I say
I’m fucked if I don’t, so I’m fucked anyway

I wish I could fuck all of you ’til you see
I don’t need your mercyfuck sympathy
Fuck your word and your prayers, fuck your stares and my cares
Fuck it all ’til I learn

i wish i could just fast forward and exist in that other country right now. somehow things are brighter there, and the hangovers hurt but differently. the pleasurable headache. there isn't enough coffee in the world right now.