living underneath a dying star

[smaashley]

i went out to the bar with with my new nieghbor, co-worker and feels like oldest friend and her super cool boyfriend. i remmember that time we got drunk together like all the others but he was living in the scussiest apartement on the craziest street with graff all over everything, the cat was going crazy then and now you have a swollen hand and future scars from where she bit you yesterday. we poped pills listened to records and hung out while amy was passed out in her shoes and coat on her face. we eventually all slept in the same bed. i apologized, but it wasn't necessary. we heard the song that reminds me only of Gray {i wish so much that we could be in the same place, i could love you, ...enertain the thought) twice tonight. i got nostaglic. you poured your heart out, i was afraid i wouldn't be able to hear the important parts over the loud music. we kiss each others cheeks before we say goodnight, just like they do in swiss. when Sven was jelous of me and Thomas in the parking lot when we parted. now we send messages expressing how the places we inhabit are more lonely and sad without you there. wondering about time and distance and the boundaries we put on things becuase of it. sad and happy. hopefull for the future, waitng wanting to find phone numbers to bring us together.{you're subtle as window pane standing in my view, but i will wait for it to rain so that i can see you. you call me up at night when there's no light passing through, you think that i don't understand but i do.}
how i miss walking up to edge and jumping in like i could feel the future on your skin.