Project365 2011: Day 240-249
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A bit of confusion with my pictures. i seem to have misplaced one, hence a bonus picture /o/
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I got an application form from the University today to enroll a second degree. When I was in second year college, I took up this certain class that inspired me to take up the whole course as soon as I graduated from my current course at that time. I really enjoyed the class, and I learned a whole lot at the lectures we had every meeting. That was pretty much my mindset then. Now, it's a bit different.
After a few months from graduating I wanted to try the workplace environment, earn a little money, and then go back to school. I could've actually gone back to school earlier had I known the process, but I kinda wanted the time to test if I could find a job. Almost a year after earning my degree... I still have no job OTL.
It is completely my fault, I think. I guess I didn't try hard enough to look for jobs and go on interviews. I kept on looking at job offers I see online and they don't seem to pique my interest, because I don't really want to get a job because I NEED to get a job. I'm pretty sure if I just agreed to get one just for the sake of having one I'd piss everyone off at the office, and I'd be pissed at myself too. Yeah, I'm really picky at finding work. :\
The other thing is, I DON'T KNOW what I want to do. I want to try a lot of things, but I feel that I don't have enough experience to pursue them. I think someone called it a "Catch 22" situation? It depresses me that I do want to try a lot of things, I want to LEARN a lot of things, but not a lot of people need trainees in their offices and they would want to hire people who already have the experience/knowledge of what they need.
I also don't know where to find other opportunities. I know looking online is limited. So yeah... I guess I don't know where to look for the job that I really want. Which I still don't know either.I feel envious of those that get apprenticeships at places I suddenly knew existed. It gives me the feeling that I'm inferior to others and I don't deserve as much as they could. /self-issues
So as of the moment, I'll go back to school. All the things I wasn't able to learn in my first course, and a whole lot of new things to know awaits! But even if I am going back to school... I still feel lost as ever.