12 September 1942
Everyone's mad today. Olive's planning something but she won't tell me what it is. I suspect she doesn't want me to get in trouble and she probably knows she will. I hope she's not thinking of sneaking out. I know she was last week and I even thought I'd help her then, but not now. Not after Claire and Giselle. Dolloway's skulking about like she's thinking of sneaking off somewhere herself. Do people really not realise what's going on here? It's bloody mad to try and get around the rules right now! I laugh when Myrtle gets pranked, because she brings it on herself--Muggleborn's one thing, rude and aggressive and whiny are different--but that doesn't mean that I don't care if she wanders off and gets killed!
I really wanted to go and have tea with Andrew in Hogsmeade. I sound like the worst sort of whining Gryffindor but it's really not fair, and I don't understand why they think they have to be fair to everyone but Slytherins. Gilly Greenwood wanted to work today (at least she's reacting to all of this sensibly), and she really needs to get more hours in, but Pomfrey doesn't want her there today. I know I shouldn't expect weekends off, it's just that it seems so personal right now. And since everyone seems to be getting killed instead of hurt, there's almost nothing to do. (It's awful of me, but I wish it weren't so boring in here right now.)
Yvon said they'd start fucking with my head in sixth year and that I should just expect it, he said he'd do it to me himself and not to think that he wouldn't, no matter how much we might like one another, if he thought I hadn't been adequately prepared for the stress...but I'm still in fifth. And this really seems more personal than not.
I hope he's all right today. I should really go and get something to eat now, even if it's probably the most dreadfully boring food in the kingdom. At least she's letting me out to go eat.