Home sweet home
Just like the subject says -- I am home and it is wonderful. At the moment I am currently in the girls dormitory listening to Millie spout off propaganda I'm sure she picked up from her parents this summer, Pansy babble about how rudely evil her parents are for going to Paris without her (though, 1) I would tend to agree with her and 2) it's rather nicer than her pretending I don't exist as she does on days when I have apparently pissed Draco off too much), and Tracey Davies tell us all about some guy she met this summer (not at all uncommon).
It's just another September 1st in the Slytherin House.
Except that it's not. Pansy just asked why I'm being so quiet. I told her I'm just tired, as I haven't gotten much sleep this summer cause of the demonspawn but really...I'm sitting here, in my pajamas, in my bed, and something's missing. And for a bit I simply couldn't figure out what it was and then...it hit me.
I'm alone. And, while I know it's only been three nights, I kind of got used to having Blaise there. I got used to there being someone else there. I like it more (specially if it's him). He snuggles. It's great.
I mean, there's a sweet and cuddly cat curled up on my bed because apparently it has decided that it doesn't want to sleep on Tracey's bed a the moment, but that's not the same. That's a cat. That's not another person.
And that's not Blaise.
Theodore did not do me a favor today as he promised he would. He did not slap some sense into me as he was supposed to because I am still being incredibly and stupidly mushy. And know what? That really needs to go away. I'm sick of this at the moment. I'm tired of watching him flirt with everyone else. I'm sick of wishing that was me.
I want that to be.
I want him to want to be with me. I want him to want to be with only me. But he doesn't want to.
And I really want to kiss him again -- is that bad? Should I go to Madam Pomfrey or something? This is not normal.
I want to kiss him and I want him to kiss me back.
I think I'm going crazy. I really do. Theodore says I'm not; he says this is normal and right. And he also says that I probably can't just shut it off or make it go away. (Which is so not what I wanted to hear, Theodore.) So....yeah. It is apparently going to be a long year.
But Malfoy and I have called a truce of sorts so it may not be quite as annoying of a year as some in the past. We'll see.
...........................................................
Would it be completely terribly of me to wander over to the boy's dormitory and crawl into bed with Blaise? Just so I might actually be able to sleep? Because, at the moment, I don't think I'm going to find it.
It's just another September 1st in the Slytherin House.
Except that it's not. Pansy just asked why I'm being so quiet. I told her I'm just tired, as I haven't gotten much sleep this summer cause of the demonspawn but really...I'm sitting here, in my pajamas, in my bed, and something's missing. And for a bit I simply couldn't figure out what it was and then...it hit me.
I'm alone. And, while I know it's only been three nights, I kind of got used to having Blaise there. I got used to there being someone else there. I like it more (specially if it's him). He snuggles. It's great.
I mean, there's a sweet and cuddly cat curled up on my bed because apparently it has decided that it doesn't want to sleep on Tracey's bed a the moment, but that's not the same. That's a cat. That's not another person.
And that's not Blaise.
Theodore did not do me a favor today as he promised he would. He did not slap some sense into me as he was supposed to because I am still being incredibly and stupidly mushy. And know what? That really needs to go away. I'm sick of this at the moment. I'm tired of watching him flirt with everyone else. I'm sick of wishing that was me.
I want that to be.
I want him to want to be with me. I want him to want to be with only me. But he doesn't want to.
And I really want to kiss him again -- is that bad? Should I go to Madam Pomfrey or something? This is not normal.
I want to kiss him and I want him to kiss me back.
I think I'm going crazy. I really do. Theodore says I'm not; he says this is normal and right. And he also says that I probably can't just shut it off or make it go away. (Which is so not what I wanted to hear, Theodore.) So....yeah. It is apparently going to be a long year.
But Malfoy and I have called a truce of sorts so it may not be quite as annoying of a year as some in the past. We'll see.
...........................................................
Would it be completely terribly of me to wander over to the boy's dormitory and crawl into bed with Blaise? Just so I might actually be able to sleep? Because, at the moment, I don't think I'm going to find it.