Draco's Journal
The dreams have been getting worse lately. Or nightmares, more accurately. At the rate things are going, I'm going to have to start taking dreamless sleep potions just to get some rest.
It's stupid, but I thought... I thought I could just put it behind me. Just walk away and add it to the list of reasons why Lucius is awful and be Strong Draco and leave it at that, but... I can't. I'm healed, but I'm not getting better. I still go down to Slytherin and expect to see Daphne in the common room with the others, or hear her voice from Blaise's bed. I keep catching myself thinking of Lucius as "father" like I did before everything went wrong.
But Daphne is gone, Blaise is a mess, and Lucius tried to fucking kill me.
You can't go back after that, do you hear me?! You CAN'T GO BACK! It's over! Just accept it, Draco, just accept it and get over it, stop being stupid and wishing he'll change because he won't.
I cannot keep doing this....
It's stupid, but I thought... I thought I could just put it behind me. Just walk away and add it to the list of reasons why Lucius is awful and be Strong Draco and leave it at that, but... I can't. I'm healed, but I'm not getting better. I still go down to Slytherin and expect to see Daphne in the common room with the others, or hear her voice from Blaise's bed. I keep catching myself thinking of Lucius as "father" like I did before everything went wrong.
But Daphne is gone, Blaise is a mess, and Lucius tried to fucking kill me.
You can't go back after that, do you hear me?! You CAN'T GO BACK! It's over! Just accept it, Draco, just accept it and get over it, stop being stupid and wishing he'll change because he won't.
I cannot keep doing this....