break it down like this..
So I haven't posted much lately... but there's not much to talk about. I never used to feel like I didn't have anything to say? This is weird. I've been babbling a bit over at my hockey blog but that's pretty much random hockeylove and suchlike. Feel free to stop by, I love visitors and get few over there.
So life is just in a random place right now. I really need to get into an exercise/eating better routine and for some reason I can't seem to find my groove. I exercised at least 5 days a week for 7 weeks back in Jan-Feb but then I stopped and CANNOT seem to start back up again. i lost 4 pounds, which was lame, but I did have to take my belt in one loop (and it's still there) so I know something changed. But then my motivation just disappeared and I can't seem to find it again. I guess it's the fact that I know I will never be 'thin' and I'm not even going for that so much as getting into better shape in general and shaping up my legs and butt, cuz those are the places I need the most work. But I know that this will have to be a lifetime decision because if I start slacking at any point, it will all just go away. that's a hard obstacle to surmount.
It's a process. I'm trying to take better care of myself in general. I went to the dentist last week- for the first time in 3 years. It was good though, they said my teeth look great. (a combo of good genetics I guess and regular brushing) so that was a nice thing. I also scheduled an appt to get a full skin exam by a dermatologist to check for suspicious moles and whatnot. I'm not bothered by any of the, but I have a couple that are weirdly shaped or whatev. I burn extremely easily and I have read waaaay too many articles in magazines about ppl who had skin cancer so I was like, ya know, I have insurance, I might as well use it and make myself stop freaking out about nothing. Plus it's just a good idea to do that annually so you can have a record of what's usual and what's not. Yeah. It's so weird about that because I am not really a person who freaks out about healt kind of stuff. I rarely (knock on wood) get sick enough to visit the doctor, and I don't really get bothered by the occasional twinge of pain or tweaked muscle or whatev. But when I read about skin cancer it makes me all crawly and then I start obsessively checking all my moles and yeah.. I dunno. It's a quirk.
So that is that.
I did not go see Thriving Ivory. I couldn't get anyone to go with me. I really need more friends in town. Blah, everybody was busy and I just didn't want to go by myself. It's not very fun, plus I had no idea about the place it was at so it just would have been lame and weird. BOooooo.
Man, I REALLY have a NEED to get back into acting. I was very involved with theatre from 8th grade through 12th. I did school plays, sometimes had small parts, sometimes big ones, sometimes just worked backstage (for musicals, mostly) and it was all fun. I never felt so alive as when I was onstage. AND, it was the only thing that I was actually GOOD at. I don't mean that I was pathetic at life, i was in marching band, and was a decent student and was very active at church and all that, but the one passion in my life *aside from hockey, which I had no way to active express except through fandom* was acting. And I was damn good at it. It was work, yet it was also raw talent. It was shaping something that I was born with into a maaster craft. With other things, such as music, it was a diversion, something I did for fun, that i had to work very hard at to be decent. Same with school (except writing, that came pretty naturally) But on stage, I could be anyone i wanted to be, anyone YOU wanted me to be and do it well. I spent a year with an independent theatre company when I was 16 and it was one of the best years of my life. We did 3 shows- Hans Christen Andersen's The Snow Queen- I was the creepy Hobgoblin and it was probably the best show I ever did, then Roald Dahl's Matilda - loooved the book as a kid, and I was Ms. Trunchbull- man that was fun, even though I adore children in real life, and finally Shakespeare's The Tempest, which was probably the glory of my theatre expereience. I played a minor role until the last weekend of the show, when I was Prospero- yes, the main character. It was brilliant and amazing. and it was me.
so, all that background being said, I haven't done a show in 9 years. Yet I still DREAM about it, literally. I have dreams (nightmares, really) that I'm in a show and forget my lines, or similar occurrences. I stilll have these dreams. And I recently attended 2 plays- the high school did Neil Simon's Rumors which is hilarious and our friend Sarah was in it, she was brilliant. But it made me want to be doing it again! Then my nephew Braden was in Shakespeare's Love's Labor's Lost as part of a homeschool group they are in so we saw that. He was great. but again as always it makes me yearn for the stage with a longing that makes me literally hurt.
So I NEEEEEED to find some community theatre. I neeeeeeeed it. I need that outlet for myself and I jsut want to feel the energy of a scene and the lights and all of it. I don't care about the audience ( I mean it's nice to have ppl watching you) but I just want to be DOING it.
I actually wanted to study theatre in college, but knew it would never work. I'm a great actress, it's IN Me, but I can't sing or dance at all. And so it would never work, so I chose something much more stable- LOL- like broadcasting. But oh I miss it.
SO now that you read all that (and if you did, you're wonderful, truly) and if you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I'll try to post more in the future.
So life is just in a random place right now. I really need to get into an exercise/eating better routine and for some reason I can't seem to find my groove. I exercised at least 5 days a week for 7 weeks back in Jan-Feb but then I stopped and CANNOT seem to start back up again. i lost 4 pounds, which was lame, but I did have to take my belt in one loop (and it's still there) so I know something changed. But then my motivation just disappeared and I can't seem to find it again. I guess it's the fact that I know I will never be 'thin' and I'm not even going for that so much as getting into better shape in general and shaping up my legs and butt, cuz those are the places I need the most work. But I know that this will have to be a lifetime decision because if I start slacking at any point, it will all just go away. that's a hard obstacle to surmount.
It's a process. I'm trying to take better care of myself in general. I went to the dentist last week- for the first time in 3 years. It was good though, they said my teeth look great. (a combo of good genetics I guess and regular brushing) so that was a nice thing. I also scheduled an appt to get a full skin exam by a dermatologist to check for suspicious moles and whatnot. I'm not bothered by any of the, but I have a couple that are weirdly shaped or whatev. I burn extremely easily and I have read waaaay too many articles in magazines about ppl who had skin cancer so I was like, ya know, I have insurance, I might as well use it and make myself stop freaking out about nothing. Plus it's just a good idea to do that annually so you can have a record of what's usual and what's not. Yeah. It's so weird about that because I am not really a person who freaks out about healt kind of stuff. I rarely (knock on wood) get sick enough to visit the doctor, and I don't really get bothered by the occasional twinge of pain or tweaked muscle or whatev. But when I read about skin cancer it makes me all crawly and then I start obsessively checking all my moles and yeah.. I dunno. It's a quirk.
So that is that.
I did not go see Thriving Ivory. I couldn't get anyone to go with me. I really need more friends in town. Blah, everybody was busy and I just didn't want to go by myself. It's not very fun, plus I had no idea about the place it was at so it just would have been lame and weird. BOooooo.
Man, I REALLY have a NEED to get back into acting. I was very involved with theatre from 8th grade through 12th. I did school plays, sometimes had small parts, sometimes big ones, sometimes just worked backstage (for musicals, mostly) and it was all fun. I never felt so alive as when I was onstage. AND, it was the only thing that I was actually GOOD at. I don't mean that I was pathetic at life, i was in marching band, and was a decent student and was very active at church and all that, but the one passion in my life *aside from hockey, which I had no way to active express except through fandom* was acting. And I was damn good at it. It was work, yet it was also raw talent. It was shaping something that I was born with into a maaster craft. With other things, such as music, it was a diversion, something I did for fun, that i had to work very hard at to be decent. Same with school (except writing, that came pretty naturally) But on stage, I could be anyone i wanted to be, anyone YOU wanted me to be and do it well. I spent a year with an independent theatre company when I was 16 and it was one of the best years of my life. We did 3 shows- Hans Christen Andersen's The Snow Queen- I was the creepy Hobgoblin and it was probably the best show I ever did, then Roald Dahl's Matilda - loooved the book as a kid, and I was Ms. Trunchbull- man that was fun, even though I adore children in real life, and finally Shakespeare's The Tempest, which was probably the glory of my theatre expereience. I played a minor role until the last weekend of the show, when I was Prospero- yes, the main character. It was brilliant and amazing. and it was me.
so, all that background being said, I haven't done a show in 9 years. Yet I still DREAM about it, literally. I have dreams (nightmares, really) that I'm in a show and forget my lines, or similar occurrences. I stilll have these dreams. And I recently attended 2 plays- the high school did Neil Simon's Rumors which is hilarious and our friend Sarah was in it, she was brilliant. But it made me want to be doing it again! Then my nephew Braden was in Shakespeare's Love's Labor's Lost as part of a homeschool group they are in so we saw that. He was great. but again as always it makes me yearn for the stage with a longing that makes me literally hurt.
So I NEEEEEED to find some community theatre. I neeeeeeeed it. I need that outlet for myself and I jsut want to feel the energy of a scene and the lights and all of it. I don't care about the audience ( I mean it's nice to have ppl watching you) but I just want to be DOING it.
I actually wanted to study theatre in college, but knew it would never work. I'm a great actress, it's IN Me, but I can't sing or dance at all. And so it would never work, so I chose something much more stable- LOL- like broadcasting. But oh I miss it.
SO now that you read all that (and if you did, you're wonderful, truly) and if you have any suggestions, please let me know.
I'll try to post more in the future.