*sigh*

Nov 05, 2008 21:33

So basically I've hit the wall as far as exhaustion goes. I'm tired all the time and no matter how much (or how little) sleep I get, it never seems to be enough nor does it seem to be helping. Hell, just today, I woke up before nine already feeling exhausted and I had fallen asleep before midnight!

With my hibernation issue so influx and the fact that I literally have no time to, I've done barely any writing of any kind. Which is a serious problem. I'm supposed to be doing Nanowrimo this year but I haven't gotten further than writing my outline and summary, I've signed up for a big bang change and have my outline done and am worrying because I don't think I'll meet my word quota which means major rewriting later, I've got three or four stories that desperately need updates but I'm just too damn tired to a) write the next chapter or b) edit it for posting.

I feel like I'm on a vicious hamster wheel and the more I try to get off the more I fall on my face. I mean, honestly, I'm hardcore looking forward to Christmas(the count down has begun, buddy) just because it's the one time of the year that I know I can catch some sleep with absolutely no one making me feel guilty for it.

Anyway, I'm really trying to get my writing muse back, if not just so I don't go insane, and so decided I'm going to use my wordpress blog (which I don't use, really) and post fan fiction recs and m/m book reviews.

I'm going to be posting a slue of m/m book reviews for a while, I'm thinking, because I basically went crazy insane and spent way too much money on e-books. Seriously. I think I'm keeping a few m/m book authors in coffee cups right now.

On a different note on a similar thread, Dear Author (a wonderful review and discussion site) has an interesting thread going on about romance vs. erotica vs. romantica over on this Raising the Sexual Acts Stakes thread.

After reading through the original post, I was amazed at how wholeheartedly I agreed with what Joan/SarahF said. Also after reading a good portion of the comments, I was surprised to find just how much authors themselves are pressured by their own publishers to amp up the sexual tension and/or acts. I find that a little disheartening, especially when I've been secretly contemplating publishing a short male/male story in an anthology. I know the pressure won't be the same but if I ever chose to pursue that line, I really don't want my own publisher browbeating me into writing a "racier" sex scene.

I'm of the old school mindset. I want emotional satisfaction for my fiction characters as much as sexual. If my character has a one night stand, it'll inevitably turn into more, and if it doesn't, my character isn't going to be emotionally devastated by it because they knew what they were getting into: a ONE NIGHT stand.

I also believe in love, in romance, for my characters. It doesn't have to be a pretty pretty flowers romance with saccharine sweetness that makes all of us want to vomit but it does have to be a form of romance - whatever kind of romance works for the characters, right?

In this sexually charged, enlightened, and open(ish) world we live in, romance is really falling to the wayside. In fact, I can completely see the 51st Century made from Torchwood a la Jack Harkness. There's very little romance in todays world - which is very sad, to my mind, and depresses me since I'm a single woman who grew up watching my grandparents and parents absolutely live and breath for each other and would love the chance to have that for myself.

That being said, romance, erotica, and romantica, whether it's of the female/male, male/male, female/female or any triad thereof, is really my escape from reality. When I can pick up sweet male/male stories like Caught Running by Urband & Roux or Chrinite Feehan's Dark series, it's my way to relax and tell myself that romance isn't dead, it's just resting.

As a (hopeful) writer and reader, it disheartens me to hear that publishers are saying 'screw romance, give us sexsexsex'. Don't get me wrong, I want to be sexually satisfied but...I'd rather have someone warm to wake up to. If I can't have that then why can't I have a book next to my bed where the main character gets that?

babble

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