Whats scary is it actually happened...
President Bush and a giddy Jacques Chirac shake hands on the deal
BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush
has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more
than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will
be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with
French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions
of dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush.
"He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water,
and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot
of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going
to fix it."
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of
Louisiana.
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly
yum kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by
Republicans.
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions,
and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just
made 25 million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
"Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made
money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it
up, we can easily invade and take it back again."
The money gained from 'T'he Louisiana Refund' is expected to be
immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.
BATON ROUGE, LA. - The White House announced today that President Bush
has successfully sold the state of Louisiana back to the French at more
than double its original selling price of $11,250,000.
"This is a bold step forward for America," said Bush. "And America will
be stronger and better as a result. I stand here today in unity with
French Prime Minister Jack Sharaq, who was so kind to accept my offer of
Louisiana in exchange for 25 million dollars cash."
The state, ravaged by Hurricane Katrina, will cost hundreds of billions
of dollars to rebuild.
"Jack understands full well that this one's a 'fixer upper,'" said Bush.
"He and the French people are quite prepared to pump out all that water,
and make Louisiana a decent place to live again. And they've got a lot
of work to do. But Jack's assured me, if it's not right, they're going
to fix it."
The move has been met with incredulity from the beleaguered residents of
Louisiana.
"Shuba-pie!" said New Orleans resident Willis Babineaux. "Frafer-perly
yum kom drabby sham!"
However, President Bush's decision has been widely lauded by
Republicans.
"This is an unexpected but brilliant move by the President," said Senate
Majority Leader Bill Frist. "Instead of spending billions and billions,
and billions of dollars rebuilding the state of Louisiana, we've just
made 25 million dollars in pure profit."
"This is indeed a smart move," commented Fox News analyst Brit Hume.
"Not only have we stopped the flooding in our own budget, we've made
money on the deal. Plus, when the god-awful French are done fixing it
up, we can easily invade and take it back again."
The money gained from 'T'he Louisiana Refund' is expected to be
immediately pumped into the rebuilding of Iraq.