this hotline's for kiss sluts only {meredith, cristina}
Title: This Hotline's For Kiss Sluts Only
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Meredith, Cristina
Word Count: 771
Rating: PG-13
Author's Note: Ignores the promo for 5x06 completely. Whatever.
Summary: Post 5x05. They really need to work on not having relationships with people they work with. It always entails far too much hiding in storage closets and, later, tequila.
“Okay, I think we have a problem.”
Meredith rolls over, shrugging out of Derek’s grasp, watching him sigh and instead curl his hands into the pillow before crossing the room to the lone chair in the corner. “We have a problem or you have a problem?”
“Isn’t that what I normally ask you?” Cristina sounds like she’s on the move from the way her voice gets louder and then quieter over the span of ten seconds.
“Where are you?”
“Hospital.”
She groans out loud and her eyes flick over to Derek again, finding relief in that he hadn’t moved. “It’s four in the morning.”
“That’s the only way to get the good surgeries.” Cristina mostly sounds like she’s talking to one of her interns and Meredith is, well, not. “Besides you were awake anyways.”
“Roommates,” is the only description she gives, because she doesn’t really feel like discussing the make-ups and break-ups of her friends at this hour. “You said there was a problem?”
“Army guy was at the bar last night.” And, you know, if this was anyone else calling about boys then she would just hand up on them but since this is Cristina, the one who generally rolls her eyes at these types of conversations, she knows it has to be important.
“McBadAss?”
“McBadAss,” Cristina repeats, confirms, whatever.
Initially, Meredith just blows it off. “Everyone goes to Joe’s.”
“Yes, but, why does everyone go to Joe’s?”
“That question makes no sense.” Meredith replies, because she can’t tell if Cristina’s actually genuinely annoyed or if she’s asking a question and those are things she needs to know. “What do you mean?”
“Why, Meredith, why? Think.” Now it’s her voice that’s on the rise. “Why do we go there instead of any place else?”
“Because it’s close. Because we work at the hospital.” Meredith racks her brain.
“Exactly,” Cristina exclaims, like this is some kind of Eureka moment, but Meredith still isn’t getting it.
“But he doesn’t work at the hospital.”
”Until now,” Cristina adds. “He didn’t work at the hospital until now.”
Meredith thinks on this a moment, wondering if maybe Cristina’s had too much to drink and has forgotten certain things like, for instance, “didn’t the Chief offer him a job and he turned it down?”
“Apparently he had second thoughts.” Cristina tells her. On Cristina’s end she can hear a door shut, probably as she locks herself in the on-call room or something more private where half the hospital can’t hear and then relay back to their friends who tell their friends who…well, you get the picture.
“Okay. So?” Because while she knows Cristina liked the guy, or as much as Cristina’s liked anyone since Burke, she still doesn’t see why this is life changing.
“So I kissed him.”
“In the bar?”
“No, right after the Chief offered him that job.” There’s a pause. “And he kissed me.”
“Cristina,” Meredith admonishes, far more incredulous than she’s got a right to be considering her current choice of boyfriend.
“You know I can not deal with yet another person I’ve made out with working here, especially with how strict the Chief is being right now.”
And Meredith understands exactly why she felt the need to call at four in the morning instead of just waiting for Meredith to get there. She’s freaked out. She won’t say it, but she is, and sadly Meredith is both her person and kind of the resident expert on working with (and for) people you date (because Cristina really isn’t going to draw on her own prior experiences with Burke because, well, why depress yourself, and mostly she just wants to run away and hide from these things and Meredith is definitely good at that). “So what are you going to do?”
There’s a moment of almost horrified silence and then, “Why do you think I called you?”
“Well you could hide in a storage closet all day,” Meredith suggests, only half-jokingly, because she has literally hid from Derek in a storage closet before.
“No, Hahn’s got a surgery scheduled that I will physically kill over.” Obviously, surgery trumps boys. It’s good to know that never changes.
“Okay, so no hiding. You could just ignore him. Or play hard to get.”
“I don’t want to play anything.” Cristina replies. “I just want the problem to go away.”
“You could kill him.” From the silence on the other end she wonders if Cristina is really taking that to heart. “Should I be coming down there right now?”
“I could lock him in a storage closet,” is all she hears.
“I’ll be right there.”
“Thank you.”