(no subject)
Title: This Is Like A Bad Shampoo Commercial (Yes, Yes, Yes)
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Izzie, Meredith, Alex
Word Count: 849
Rating: PG-13
Prompt: #94 - Slick for 100_situations
Author's Note: It's kind of AU crack!fic, but partially inspired by real-life, so there.
Timeline: Mid-Season Four
Summary: At some point they got tired of listening to Alex complain that they hogged the bathroom and used up all the hot water. That presented them with two options (and she wouldn't have thought of the second one, really, but Meredith would and did).
At some point they got tired of listening to Alex bitch about how they always hogged the bathroom, how they used all the hot water in the morning, and how they were the reason he was always on the cusp of being late.
That presented them with two options (and she wouldn’t have thought of the second one, really, but Meredith would and did):
Option number one: kick Alex out. This was of course thrown out because they weren’t that mean and, when it wasn’t five in the morning, they generally enjoyed his company.
Which left option number two: do something about it. Somehow that translated into Meredith walking in on her in the shower one morning and not only not closing the door as soon as she’d seen her but joining her.
“It’s nothing I haven’t seen before, really Izzie.” Meredith told her, already reaching for the bottle of shampoo, naked and not caring very much about it. Her eyes don’t linger.
“It’s just,” and Izzie isn’t really much with the stumbling over words these days but here she is because Meredith is inches from her, running her lather-covered hands through her hair like she’s in an Herbal Essences commercial (this better not end in a semi-orgasmic ‘yes, yes, yes’ like those used to) and it’s not that she has a sudden urge to switch teams, it’s just that she’s never done this before. “I mean we’re friends. Normal friends don’t do this.”
“Since when are we normal?” She’s laughing as she stands under the water, rinsing out her hair. “What, do you want to listen to him?”
“No.”
“Well.” And she just lets it hang there and moves right on to her conditioner.
It becomes routine over time. After the first week she doesn’t even think twice about the nudity. And the fact that Meredith can get that spot on her back that she never can reach is just an added bonus. There’s no soapy fondling or slippery sex. It’s just two women going about their business.
Alex never asks. He also doesn’t complain anymore and that was the whole point of this.
You know, that is until he goes looking for Meredith one morning. Izzie knows he knows she’s in the shower - he saw her go in - but since he knows nothing about their arrangement she can only stand in slightly amused horror as they listen to him call for Meredith throughout the house.
After a minute or two of deducing that she is nowhere to be found he’s knocking on the door. “Iz, do you know where Meredith is?”
She must pause for too long or maybe he knows her too well. She’s been told she’s a bad liar. “I don’t know.”
“What?” And he must not be able to hear her over both the running water and the closed door, he must’ve leaned closer to the door, pushed at it or something because she sees movement, realizes too late that it isn’t locked, and then it’s flying open.
She makes some high pitched squeak the same time as Meredith mutters, “crap” under her breath and then Alex is just standing there, viewing two silhouettes through the translucent door. She is glad she can’t see his expression.
“Izzie,” it sounds sneakingly suspicious, maybe a little concerned, semi-amused, maybe even turned on.
She makes the decision (stupid, stupid decision) to crack the shower door and stick her head out, and his face is kind of blank, maybe a smirk pulling at his lips, she can’t really tell. “Alex,” she tries to sound nonchalant.
“Why are there two people in the shower?” His eyebrows are approaching his hairline (she will swear to this) and he looks like he’s trying not to laugh when he asks it.
She’s about to ask him how he knows that, as a stalling tactic, until she can come up with something better, but then Meredith pokes her head out too, ducking underneath Izzie’s so as not to open the door any further, lest he get a glimpse, and, in the way only Meredith really can, turns this all on him. “Because you won’t stop complaining about the hot water and how we make you late, so now we’ve been reduced to showering together so as not to take away from your precious bathroom time. What did you think?”
“I think it looks like O’Malley’s wet dream.”
He would think that. Now, since Meredith already said her piece, Izzie decides it’s time to step in too. “It’s a timesaver Alex, not lesbian porn.”
“Sure it is.” He doesn’t even try to make it sound convincing.
“Shut it,” this from Meredith who might have actually just splashed him from across the bathroom.
“Got room in there for three?”
Now she definitely did. “You. Out. Now.”
He leaves then, before they can all out soak him, but he leaves the bathroom door open and they make every effort to make incredibly lewd, over-exaggerated moans every time he walks by. Which seems to be quite often.
It’s certainly a better start to the day than arguing.