(no subject)
Title: I Had No Choice But To Hear You
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Alex centric. Very mild hints of Alex/Richard.
Word Count: 1,287
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 4.08 - Meet Kevin Johnson. There's a lot of screaming and crying before someone finally gets a hold of her and jams a needle in her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.
She watches the last two people who she has left fall to the dirt at her feet and she swears she stops breathing. Stops thinking clearly. She can’t see or think about anything other than those two bodies. It’s her fault. They’re here for her, that’s what Ben told her, that they’d be after her, looking for her.
So she does the only thing she can think of. She stands up, hands in the air, surrender, and tells them what they’re presumably looking for. That she’s Ben’s daughter. They’ve caught her, it’s over. She doesn’t have the will to run and try to escape. All the determination was snuffed out with their lives.
Leaves crunch and she can hear them coming closer, even though she can’t see them. She braces herself for foreign men with guns - these people Ben claims will be coming after him and then her.
What she sees are her own people, the people she’s lived with for years, and it’s with the sick feeling of betrayal in her gut that she watches Richard Alpert push his way to the forefront.
“Hello Alex.”
---
There’s a lot of screaming and crying before someone gets a hold of her and jams a needle into her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.
She wakes up to one of the women, Amelia, pressing a bandage over the pinprick in her arm that must’ve been bleeding. Alex tries to sit up but Amelia presses her back down, calmly telling her, “Rest.”
Alex figures she has no choice but to do just that. She’s not in the position to do much of anything at this point.
It isn’t long before Richard pokes his head in, presumably to see if she’s awake, finding her as such. He clears his throat before asking, “Amelia, do you mind stepping out for a minute.”
Amelia complies, abandoning her spot beside Alex. It’s a spot Richard takes momentarily, lifting a rag out of the bowl of water it had been soaking in to dab at a gash on her forehead. She jerks beneath his touch and he only looks down at her and smiles. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
Her voice feels hoarse as she asks, “Why did you kill them?”
“They can’t come here Alex; you had to have known that.” His voice is too calm, his touch too gentle to befit a killer. She’s never been able to reconcile his mannerisms with his actions. “And I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.”
Like that makes it any better. “Ben sent me here. He sent them here. He told me we would be safe.”
Richard frowns at that, sets the rag down, and falls back on his heels. Clearly he wasn’t expecting that. “Somehow I can’t see even him stooping to that level.”
“What do you mean?”
“He knew they couldn’t come here. I don’t know why he would’ve sent them here with you.” He pauses, maybe in thought, most likely for effect. “Unless that was part of his plan.”
There are a lot of bad things she knows this man she calls her father has done, but there’s still a part of her that refuses to believe he would do this to her. Some part of her is praying this isn’t true, even though it’s rapidly looking more and more likely. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Ben does a lot of things I thought he wouldn’t do.” He replies. “You aren’t the first person to be disappointed.”
She feels hot tears pool at her lashes but she just blinks them away. “Why would he do that?”
“He probably resented the attachment. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but your father is a very possessive man.” She flashes on what little Juliet once told her about the reasons for Goodwin’s death and it all starts to make a lot more sense.
“He...he set me up.” The ultimate betrayal, she thinks, a sentiment she must express with her eyes because Richard gives her a solemn nod.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She doesn’t know if it’s sincere or not. “Unfortunately there was nothing I could do.”
“You mean other than not killing them?” Alex asks, finding the anger in her sorrow, feeding off of it. Emotion has to come out somehow.
“Rules are rules, Alex. I can’t just change them.”
“What rules?” She yells back at him.
“Keep your voice down,” he orders and she, reluctantly, does so. “This is a place for people like us. No outsiders. Bringing them in here is too risky.”
“Says who?”
“Says people higher up than your father or me.” He tells her, with a shake of his head. “You can blame me all you want. It won’t change a thing.”
“I don’t blame you,” she admits quietly. He didn’t kill them, not directly, and, more importantly, he wasn’t the one who sent her here. He isn’t the one who set her up. So she can’t blame him, even though it’s easy to.
For a moment, Richard seems almost grateful because of it. “I don’t know why he insists on playing the games he does, especially with you. I don’t know if he’s trying to scare you into trusting him or what.”
“I want to kill him.” She says, gut reaction, to him and yet he doesn’t seem like he hears her. If he does he chooses not to react.
“He wasn’t always like this.” Alex looks up, taking note of this apparent monologue he’s got going. “The older he gets the more paranoid he gets. The less I think he should be leading these people.”
“Then why are you letting him?”
“It isn’t my call.” He’s been on his feet, pacing a bit for awhile now, but he stops now. “You seem to think I have a lot more power than I actually do.”
While she’s got him talking like this she’s certainly going to use it to her advantage. “I think you have more power than you’re willing to use.”
He must realize what she’s doing because he sits back down, “You two aren’t as different as you’d like to think.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She protests, shaking her head.
“You want revenge. That’s understandable. So the first thing you do is try to work me over.” Alex looks away from him, sits up and withdraws, curls up away from him. “It’s not your fault. It’s just the way you were raised.”
“I’m nothing like him.” She hisses, and that’s all she’ll say on this matter. She isn’t the same as him. She never will be.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Alex tries to hit him, but he gets a hold of her wrist first, brings her arm back down with ease.
“I didn’t say you didn’t have a point.” He finishes, not at all affected by her movements. He holds onto her arm, fingers moving down to her hand, thumb pressing into the skin there ever so gently. She’d think it was unconsciously if she didn’t know him better.
He is right about one thing and one thing only: she wants revenge. She refuses to let their deaths be in vain. And if this man can help her get it well then she’ll do what she has to do.
It’s better than trying to do it by herself but, really, she better get used to being alone. With Karl and Danielle, her mother she’d just finally found only to lose again, gone, and Ben willing to do anything no matter what it’s affect on her, she’s all by herself essentially.
Looking at Richard, she figures she’ll take anything she can get.
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Alex centric. Very mild hints of Alex/Richard.
Word Count: 1,287
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Post 4.08 - Meet Kevin Johnson. There's a lot of screaming and crying before someone finally gets a hold of her and jams a needle in her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.
She watches the last two people who she has left fall to the dirt at her feet and she swears she stops breathing. Stops thinking clearly. She can’t see or think about anything other than those two bodies. It’s her fault. They’re here for her, that’s what Ben told her, that they’d be after her, looking for her.
So she does the only thing she can think of. She stands up, hands in the air, surrender, and tells them what they’re presumably looking for. That she’s Ben’s daughter. They’ve caught her, it’s over. She doesn’t have the will to run and try to escape. All the determination was snuffed out with their lives.
Leaves crunch and she can hear them coming closer, even though she can’t see them. She braces herself for foreign men with guns - these people Ben claims will be coming after him and then her.
What she sees are her own people, the people she’s lived with for years, and it’s with the sick feeling of betrayal in her gut that she watches Richard Alpert push his way to the forefront.
“Hello Alex.”
---
There’s a lot of screaming and crying before someone gets a hold of her and jams a needle into her arm. A few seconds later her world starts to spin.
She wakes up to one of the women, Amelia, pressing a bandage over the pinprick in her arm that must’ve been bleeding. Alex tries to sit up but Amelia presses her back down, calmly telling her, “Rest.”
Alex figures she has no choice but to do just that. She’s not in the position to do much of anything at this point.
It isn’t long before Richard pokes his head in, presumably to see if she’s awake, finding her as such. He clears his throat before asking, “Amelia, do you mind stepping out for a minute.”
Amelia complies, abandoning her spot beside Alex. It’s a spot Richard takes momentarily, lifting a rag out of the bowl of water it had been soaking in to dab at a gash on her forehead. She jerks beneath his touch and he only looks down at her and smiles. “You don’t have to be afraid of me.”
Her voice feels hoarse as she asks, “Why did you kill them?”
“They can’t come here Alex; you had to have known that.” His voice is too calm, his touch too gentle to befit a killer. She’s never been able to reconcile his mannerisms with his actions. “And I wasn’t the one who pulled the trigger.”
Like that makes it any better. “Ben sent me here. He sent them here. He told me we would be safe.”
Richard frowns at that, sets the rag down, and falls back on his heels. Clearly he wasn’t expecting that. “Somehow I can’t see even him stooping to that level.”
“What do you mean?”
“He knew they couldn’t come here. I don’t know why he would’ve sent them here with you.” He pauses, maybe in thought, most likely for effect. “Unless that was part of his plan.”
There are a lot of bad things she knows this man she calls her father has done, but there’s still a part of her that refuses to believe he would do this to her. Some part of her is praying this isn’t true, even though it’s rapidly looking more and more likely. “He wouldn’t do that to me.”
“Ben does a lot of things I thought he wouldn’t do.” He replies. “You aren’t the first person to be disappointed.”
She feels hot tears pool at her lashes but she just blinks them away. “Why would he do that?”
“He probably resented the attachment. I don’t know if you’ve noticed but your father is a very possessive man.” She flashes on what little Juliet once told her about the reasons for Goodwin’s death and it all starts to make a lot more sense.
“He...he set me up.” The ultimate betrayal, she thinks, a sentiment she must express with her eyes because Richard gives her a solemn nod.
“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry.” She doesn’t know if it’s sincere or not. “Unfortunately there was nothing I could do.”
“You mean other than not killing them?” Alex asks, finding the anger in her sorrow, feeding off of it. Emotion has to come out somehow.
“Rules are rules, Alex. I can’t just change them.”
“What rules?” She yells back at him.
“Keep your voice down,” he orders and she, reluctantly, does so. “This is a place for people like us. No outsiders. Bringing them in here is too risky.”
“Says who?”
“Says people higher up than your father or me.” He tells her, with a shake of his head. “You can blame me all you want. It won’t change a thing.”
“I don’t blame you,” she admits quietly. He didn’t kill them, not directly, and, more importantly, he wasn’t the one who sent her here. He isn’t the one who set her up. So she can’t blame him, even though it’s easy to.
For a moment, Richard seems almost grateful because of it. “I don’t know why he insists on playing the games he does, especially with you. I don’t know if he’s trying to scare you into trusting him or what.”
“I want to kill him.” She says, gut reaction, to him and yet he doesn’t seem like he hears her. If he does he chooses not to react.
“He wasn’t always like this.” Alex looks up, taking note of this apparent monologue he’s got going. “The older he gets the more paranoid he gets. The less I think he should be leading these people.”
“Then why are you letting him?”
“It isn’t my call.” He’s been on his feet, pacing a bit for awhile now, but he stops now. “You seem to think I have a lot more power than I actually do.”
While she’s got him talking like this she’s certainly going to use it to her advantage. “I think you have more power than you’re willing to use.”
He must realize what she’s doing because he sits back down, “You two aren’t as different as you’d like to think.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She protests, shaking her head.
“You want revenge. That’s understandable. So the first thing you do is try to work me over.” Alex looks away from him, sits up and withdraws, curls up away from him. “It’s not your fault. It’s just the way you were raised.”
“I’m nothing like him.” She hisses, and that’s all she’ll say on this matter. She isn’t the same as him. She never will be.
“Whatever helps you sleep at night.”
Alex tries to hit him, but he gets a hold of her wrist first, brings her arm back down with ease.
“I didn’t say you didn’t have a point.” He finishes, not at all affected by her movements. He holds onto her arm, fingers moving down to her hand, thumb pressing into the skin there ever so gently. She’d think it was unconsciously if she didn’t know him better.
He is right about one thing and one thing only: she wants revenge. She refuses to let their deaths be in vain. And if this man can help her get it well then she’ll do what she has to do.
It’s better than trying to do it by herself but, really, she better get used to being alone. With Karl and Danielle, her mother she’d just finally found only to lose again, gone, and Ben willing to do anything no matter what it’s affect on her, she’s all by herself essentially.
Looking at Richard, she figures she’ll take anything she can get.