(no subject)
Title: The Honeymoon Is Over (So Over)
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Meredith/Cristina
Prompt: #85 - She for
fanfic100
Word Count: 2,031
Rating: R
Summary: Based off recent spoilers. Meredith and Cristina deal with the fallout from their respective love lives.
She doesn’t know how she gets from practically cutting Cristina out of her dress, tears burning her eyes, to deciding to go on a two week vacation, originally meant for a couple that no longer exists after a wedding that never happened.
“I’m sure you can get a refund on them.” Meredith says, when Cristina thrusts two airline tickets in front of her. Tickets that were meant to be used on her honeymoon.
“No,” Cristina shakes her head, sinking back into the couch.
“Well if you explain -“
“No,” Cristina says, slower this time, and Meredith realizes what she means. It’s not that they won’t refund the tickets; it’s that she doesn’t want them to.
“You still want to go?” Meredith isn’t sure why. The mere thought of it would be too hard for her if she were in Cristina’s place.
“Yes,” Cristina replies. She isn’t much for words right now, besides the basic ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Even so, she hasn’t shed a tear since her breakdown three hours ago. Part of Meredith thinks there just aren’t any more tears for her to cry; that she got it all out then.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to be by yourself right now?” Meredith doesn’t like that idea so much. People need people, no matter how much Cristina might beg to differ.
“I’m not going by myself,” Cristina begins, and Meredith frowns, not getting it. “You’re going with me.” It’s not so much a question (she notes the phrasing) as just an accepted truth, waiting for conformation.
Meredith looks down at those two tickets in her hands and thinks that this could work. She doesn’t want Cristina to go alone, and this might be just what she needs to get away from Derek, to get him out of her head.
“I’m going to go pack. I’ll be back in an hour.”
---
When she goes home the house is dead silent. Izzie isn’t there, and Alex is passed out on the couch, still in formal wear.
She packs quietly upstairs, tossing in whatever comes to mind. She’s done in twenty minutes, and has yet to hear a single sound from the living room.
Before she leaves, on impulse, she scribbles a quick note, telling them not to worry, and leaves it on top of Alex’s suit jacket, knowing he’ll see it when he wakes up.
Then she’s gone.
---
At the airport, Meredith realizes where they’re actually going.
“Burke doesn’t seem the type for island resorts.”
“He wanted to go to Europe, somewhere sophisticated. But I just wanted to relax somewhere,” Cristina mumbles, looking tired but better than just a few short hours ago. She seems to be coming out of this almost too fast. “It wasn’t about the place you know?”
Meredith nods, thinking of Derek, wondering if he was thinking of her.
---
The woman at the front desk gives them funny looks, noting what they’re booked in for. That’s the point where they pretty much become known as ‘the lesbian couple’ by the staff. It’s unspoken, as well as assumed, but it’s there, and they both find if hilarious.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Cristina tells her that first night, ordering room service.
“What isn’t?” Meredith asks, wrapped up in one of those plush white robes, fresh from a shower.
“The lesbian thing.”
Meredith shrugs, only half taking her serious. “Sure. Who needs men.”
“It would solve so many problems.” Cristina says, in that cynical way she has. She’s only gotten worse now that Burke has managed to destroy any hope or optimism she had towards romance and tradition and love in general.
She can’t blame Cristina for thinking that way. After all, him walking out on Cristina, the demise of that relationship, has drained Meredith of all her hope in that department as well.
---
They drink margaritas and mai-tais, and spend time getting massages from attractive men, one of whom Meredith hits on one night after too much tequila (which is a running theme she’ll realize, when she looks back on this).
She’s overheated and needy, and she can’t help herself. But she kisses him and she feels nothing but dissatisfaction. For the first time she isn’t after meaningless and slightly dirty sex, she’s after something deeper, some emotional connection that she sure as hell isn’t going to find in a stranger.
It’s not that she misses Derek so horribly so much as she misses the feeling of being needed by somebody else. She misses feeling connected.
---
“The rent on his apartment is paid up for the next six months.” Cristina says, with absolutely no prompting. “Which makes me think that he knew what he was going to do all along.”
“I don’t think this was something he planned.”
“No I mean subconsciously, maybe he knew.” She’s making movements with her hands that look like tiny stitches. Now that is subconscious.
Meredith does her best to find the positive. It’s what she’s been doing this whole trip. “Maybe he was just trying to make sure you were taken care of.”
It’s a nice thought, even if Meredith thinks it’s just a coincidence.
---
Her cell phone rings one morning, too early. Home, the caller ID tells her, a place she doesn’t want to think about.
She’s surprised, when it’s Alex, not Izzie who’s on the other end.
“Where are you?” He asks, and she can hear Izzie yelling at him in the background, telling him what to say or ask. He seems to be doing a good job of ignoring her.
“On vacation,” she answers simply, keeping her voice down. Cristina is still asleep, even though five in the morning is late for them back in the real world. She takes the phone out to the balcony, settles into one of the chairs.
“What do you mean on vacation?” He clearly thinks she’s crazy, and is making no attempts at hiding that. Izzie’s still barking orders at him and he cuts in again, before she can speak. “Is Cristina with you?”
“Yeah, she’s here,” she tells him, adding, “I told you guys not to worry.”
“I’m not worried. She’s worried.”
There’s static, and Meredith wonders if she might have lost them before Izzie’s voice comes over the line. “We just want to know when you’re coming home.”
Home. She’s not ready for that. Neither is Cristina. They haven’t found whatever the hell they’re looking for. They aren’t done here.
“Soon,” she lies. They’ve got a little over a week before those return tickets need to be used, and even then they can always change flights.
She hangs up before they can grill her anymore, and ignores their calls the rest of the times she’s there. It’s not just Derek that she needs to get away from, it’s all of them.
---
The staff’s assumptions come back to bite them in the ass. They’re drunk, and the guy egging them on to make out and prove it finally gets to them.
Kissing Cristina doesn’t feel awkward at all. They spend so much time with each other, are so used to contact (or as much as you can be with Cristina), that it seems perfectly ordinary. The alcohol, of course, helps with that.
She kisses Cristina with tongue, and with a kind of passion that was absent when she kissed Mr. Massage.
There’s that connection.
She pushes that thought away, and raises an eyebrow in the guy’s direction, silently asking if that was enough.
He seems dumbfounded, and leaves them alone the rest of the night.
---
“Do you miss him?”
Meredith runs her teeth along her lower lip, thinking about it. Early mornings in bed with steaming cups of coffee, the newspaper, and him. Bantering the few times they were assigned to the same case, giving him that look like she just couldn’t wait to get her hands on him when they got off work, and seeing that same look in his eyes.
She missed that. She missed him. “I do.”
Cristina nods, then, “I don’t miss Burke. I love him, but I don’t miss him. I don’t miss his annoying habits, or the way he was obsessed with doing everything right, following tradition or whatever. I don’t miss him at all.” She doesn’t seem sad, or upset in the least when she speaks. She just seems like she’s finally admitting something that she knew all along. “That means something doesn’t it?”
Yeah, Meredith thinks, it means love really isn’t all you need.
---
Derek calls once, while she and Cristina are both out.
Meredith doesn’t know whether to be sad that she didn’t get to the phone and missed the call, or disappointed that it’s taken him this long to call.
---
“Shit, my shirt’s caught.”
Meredith giggles. It’s the tequila, because she’s always blamed alcohol for all her missteps and problems, so what’s one more. Even if it’s a big one. Just about as big as sleeping with her boss on her first day.
She unhooks it by removing it, tossing it on a chair somewhere that’s between the door and the bed. She can’t think about space and location when her fingers are fumbling with Cristina’s bra in the dark.
Even so, she manages to say, “We shouldn’t be doing this,” before her lips are back on Cristina’s.
“Mmhmm,” Cristina mumbles, agreeing even though that isn’t going to stop her. It isn’t going to stop either of them.
---
There aren’t any regrets in the morning. They never talk about it, nor do they ignore. They treat is as just another night. Meredith doesn’t mind. After all she’s come to hate people who ask ‘what does this mean?’ like it always has to mean something.
That’s not to say this was completely void of meaning. She’d been after something, some feeling, and she’d gotten it.
It was just as well that they didn’t talk about it. Seeing as it was only the first time in a string of trysts the morning after conversation would’ve gotten repetitive.
---
“I’m moving out when I get back.”
This surprises Meredith. “You said it was paid up though.”
“It is. But it’s his apartment, not mine.” She replies.
“You can come stay with me if you want.” All she needs is for George to move back in and the whole gang will be back together.
Cristina looks less than thrilled with that prospect, but Meredith gives her a look like she wants her to. “Just for awhile.”
“Right.”
---
On the plane Meredith gets an invitation to join the mile-high club, one that she doesn’t want to take. The guy informs her that she looks like the kind of girl that would, which to her is code for easy, and she doesn’t like that.
“I never said I’m not,” she tells him with a sweet smile. “Just not with you.”
He goes to reply, but Cristina is there and between the two of them they manage to chase him off.
However that is not to say that Meredith didn’t join (she did) it just wasn’t with him (wrong pronoun).
---
“They can’t know.” Meredith’s hands are braced against the sink as she stares into the mirror, watching Cristina slip on her shirt.
“Are you kidding?” Cristina sounds vaguely amused with that notion. Meredith glares at her reflection. “I wasn’t advertising things with Burke; I’m sure as hell not going to tell everyone about this.”
Meredith nods, relieved. It’s not that she regrets this (she doesn’t), but that doesn’t mean she needs the whole hospital cracking jokes about how she ran out of men to sleep with. They already think she’s a slut; she doesn’t need to add fuel to the fire.
---
When they get back they apply a ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ mentality, even though they couldn’t have been farther from Nevada. It’s just not something either one of them feels the need to continue. It was a way to cope with their own respective love lives. It wasn’t some confession of their undying love. They were friends; friends help each other out no matter what.
Besides, what’s a honeymoon without sex?
Fandom: Grey's Anatomy
Characters/Pairings: Meredith/Cristina
Prompt: #85 - She for
fanfic100
Word Count: 2,031
Rating: R
Summary: Based off recent spoilers. Meredith and Cristina deal with the fallout from their respective love lives.
She doesn’t know how she gets from practically cutting Cristina out of her dress, tears burning her eyes, to deciding to go on a two week vacation, originally meant for a couple that no longer exists after a wedding that never happened.
“I’m sure you can get a refund on them.” Meredith says, when Cristina thrusts two airline tickets in front of her. Tickets that were meant to be used on her honeymoon.
“No,” Cristina shakes her head, sinking back into the couch.
“Well if you explain -“
“No,” Cristina says, slower this time, and Meredith realizes what she means. It’s not that they won’t refund the tickets; it’s that she doesn’t want them to.
“You still want to go?” Meredith isn’t sure why. The mere thought of it would be too hard for her if she were in Cristina’s place.
“Yes,” Cristina replies. She isn’t much for words right now, besides the basic ‘yes’ or ‘no’. Even so, she hasn’t shed a tear since her breakdown three hours ago. Part of Meredith thinks there just aren’t any more tears for her to cry; that she got it all out then.
“Are you sure it’s a good idea to be by yourself right now?” Meredith doesn’t like that idea so much. People need people, no matter how much Cristina might beg to differ.
“I’m not going by myself,” Cristina begins, and Meredith frowns, not getting it. “You’re going with me.” It’s not so much a question (she notes the phrasing) as just an accepted truth, waiting for conformation.
Meredith looks down at those two tickets in her hands and thinks that this could work. She doesn’t want Cristina to go alone, and this might be just what she needs to get away from Derek, to get him out of her head.
“I’m going to go pack. I’ll be back in an hour.”
---
When she goes home the house is dead silent. Izzie isn’t there, and Alex is passed out on the couch, still in formal wear.
She packs quietly upstairs, tossing in whatever comes to mind. She’s done in twenty minutes, and has yet to hear a single sound from the living room.
Before she leaves, on impulse, she scribbles a quick note, telling them not to worry, and leaves it on top of Alex’s suit jacket, knowing he’ll see it when he wakes up.
Then she’s gone.
---
At the airport, Meredith realizes where they’re actually going.
“Burke doesn’t seem the type for island resorts.”
“He wanted to go to Europe, somewhere sophisticated. But I just wanted to relax somewhere,” Cristina mumbles, looking tired but better than just a few short hours ago. She seems to be coming out of this almost too fast. “It wasn’t about the place you know?”
Meredith nods, thinking of Derek, wondering if he was thinking of her.
---
The woman at the front desk gives them funny looks, noting what they’re booked in for. That’s the point where they pretty much become known as ‘the lesbian couple’ by the staff. It’s unspoken, as well as assumed, but it’s there, and they both find if hilarious.
“That’s not a bad idea,” Cristina tells her that first night, ordering room service.
“What isn’t?” Meredith asks, wrapped up in one of those plush white robes, fresh from a shower.
“The lesbian thing.”
Meredith shrugs, only half taking her serious. “Sure. Who needs men.”
“It would solve so many problems.” Cristina says, in that cynical way she has. She’s only gotten worse now that Burke has managed to destroy any hope or optimism she had towards romance and tradition and love in general.
She can’t blame Cristina for thinking that way. After all, him walking out on Cristina, the demise of that relationship, has drained Meredith of all her hope in that department as well.
---
They drink margaritas and mai-tais, and spend time getting massages from attractive men, one of whom Meredith hits on one night after too much tequila (which is a running theme she’ll realize, when she looks back on this).
She’s overheated and needy, and she can’t help herself. But she kisses him and she feels nothing but dissatisfaction. For the first time she isn’t after meaningless and slightly dirty sex, she’s after something deeper, some emotional connection that she sure as hell isn’t going to find in a stranger.
It’s not that she misses Derek so horribly so much as she misses the feeling of being needed by somebody else. She misses feeling connected.
---
“The rent on his apartment is paid up for the next six months.” Cristina says, with absolutely no prompting. “Which makes me think that he knew what he was going to do all along.”
“I don’t think this was something he planned.”
“No I mean subconsciously, maybe he knew.” She’s making movements with her hands that look like tiny stitches. Now that is subconscious.
Meredith does her best to find the positive. It’s what she’s been doing this whole trip. “Maybe he was just trying to make sure you were taken care of.”
It’s a nice thought, even if Meredith thinks it’s just a coincidence.
---
Her cell phone rings one morning, too early. Home, the caller ID tells her, a place she doesn’t want to think about.
She’s surprised, when it’s Alex, not Izzie who’s on the other end.
“Where are you?” He asks, and she can hear Izzie yelling at him in the background, telling him what to say or ask. He seems to be doing a good job of ignoring her.
“On vacation,” she answers simply, keeping her voice down. Cristina is still asleep, even though five in the morning is late for them back in the real world. She takes the phone out to the balcony, settles into one of the chairs.
“What do you mean on vacation?” He clearly thinks she’s crazy, and is making no attempts at hiding that. Izzie’s still barking orders at him and he cuts in again, before she can speak. “Is Cristina with you?”
“Yeah, she’s here,” she tells him, adding, “I told you guys not to worry.”
“I’m not worried. She’s worried.”
There’s static, and Meredith wonders if she might have lost them before Izzie’s voice comes over the line. “We just want to know when you’re coming home.”
Home. She’s not ready for that. Neither is Cristina. They haven’t found whatever the hell they’re looking for. They aren’t done here.
“Soon,” she lies. They’ve got a little over a week before those return tickets need to be used, and even then they can always change flights.
She hangs up before they can grill her anymore, and ignores their calls the rest of the times she’s there. It’s not just Derek that she needs to get away from, it’s all of them.
---
The staff’s assumptions come back to bite them in the ass. They’re drunk, and the guy egging them on to make out and prove it finally gets to them.
Kissing Cristina doesn’t feel awkward at all. They spend so much time with each other, are so used to contact (or as much as you can be with Cristina), that it seems perfectly ordinary. The alcohol, of course, helps with that.
She kisses Cristina with tongue, and with a kind of passion that was absent when she kissed Mr. Massage.
There’s that connection.
She pushes that thought away, and raises an eyebrow in the guy’s direction, silently asking if that was enough.
He seems dumbfounded, and leaves them alone the rest of the night.
---
“Do you miss him?”
Meredith runs her teeth along her lower lip, thinking about it. Early mornings in bed with steaming cups of coffee, the newspaper, and him. Bantering the few times they were assigned to the same case, giving him that look like she just couldn’t wait to get her hands on him when they got off work, and seeing that same look in his eyes.
She missed that. She missed him. “I do.”
Cristina nods, then, “I don’t miss Burke. I love him, but I don’t miss him. I don’t miss his annoying habits, or the way he was obsessed with doing everything right, following tradition or whatever. I don’t miss him at all.” She doesn’t seem sad, or upset in the least when she speaks. She just seems like she’s finally admitting something that she knew all along. “That means something doesn’t it?”
Yeah, Meredith thinks, it means love really isn’t all you need.
---
Derek calls once, while she and Cristina are both out.
Meredith doesn’t know whether to be sad that she didn’t get to the phone and missed the call, or disappointed that it’s taken him this long to call.
---
“Shit, my shirt’s caught.”
Meredith giggles. It’s the tequila, because she’s always blamed alcohol for all her missteps and problems, so what’s one more. Even if it’s a big one. Just about as big as sleeping with her boss on her first day.
She unhooks it by removing it, tossing it on a chair somewhere that’s between the door and the bed. She can’t think about space and location when her fingers are fumbling with Cristina’s bra in the dark.
Even so, she manages to say, “We shouldn’t be doing this,” before her lips are back on Cristina’s.
“Mmhmm,” Cristina mumbles, agreeing even though that isn’t going to stop her. It isn’t going to stop either of them.
---
There aren’t any regrets in the morning. They never talk about it, nor do they ignore. They treat is as just another night. Meredith doesn’t mind. After all she’s come to hate people who ask ‘what does this mean?’ like it always has to mean something.
That’s not to say this was completely void of meaning. She’d been after something, some feeling, and she’d gotten it.
It was just as well that they didn’t talk about it. Seeing as it was only the first time in a string of trysts the morning after conversation would’ve gotten repetitive.
---
“I’m moving out when I get back.”
This surprises Meredith. “You said it was paid up though.”
“It is. But it’s his apartment, not mine.” She replies.
“You can come stay with me if you want.” All she needs is for George to move back in and the whole gang will be back together.
Cristina looks less than thrilled with that prospect, but Meredith gives her a look like she wants her to. “Just for awhile.”
“Right.”
---
On the plane Meredith gets an invitation to join the mile-high club, one that she doesn’t want to take. The guy informs her that she looks like the kind of girl that would, which to her is code for easy, and she doesn’t like that.
“I never said I’m not,” she tells him with a sweet smile. “Just not with you.”
He goes to reply, but Cristina is there and between the two of them they manage to chase him off.
However that is not to say that Meredith didn’t join (she did) it just wasn’t with him (wrong pronoun).
---
“They can’t know.” Meredith’s hands are braced against the sink as she stares into the mirror, watching Cristina slip on her shirt.
“Are you kidding?” Cristina sounds vaguely amused with that notion. Meredith glares at her reflection. “I wasn’t advertising things with Burke; I’m sure as hell not going to tell everyone about this.”
Meredith nods, relieved. It’s not that she regrets this (she doesn’t), but that doesn’t mean she needs the whole hospital cracking jokes about how she ran out of men to sleep with. They already think she’s a slut; she doesn’t need to add fuel to the fire.
---
When they get back they apply a ‘what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas’ mentality, even though they couldn’t have been farther from Nevada. It’s just not something either one of them feels the need to continue. It was a way to cope with their own respective love lives. It wasn’t some confession of their undying love. They were friends; friends help each other out no matter what.
Besides, what’s a honeymoon without sex?