(no subject)
Title: Perfect
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Kate/Sayid
Prompt:
zelda_zee wanted Sayid fic, but also for #72 - Pensive at
100moods
Word Count: 1,069
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sayid is the person she wonders the most about after they get off the island.
Sayid is the one person she wonders the most about after they get off the island.
Of course, that’s not to say he’s the person that she thinks about the most (he’s not), it’s just that her thoughts will wander and she’ll end up in some daydream of how things could’ve turned out differently if it had been him that had taken Sawyer or Jack’s place in that fucked-up triangle that she’s all but done with now.
He’s a missed opportunity, Kate thinks, sometimes, and that’s never quite sat well with her.
She sees him at a gathering once. It’s not a reunion, since only thirteen of them show up. Hurley organizes it, Hurley who still hasn’t quite let go and let the past just be the past, who wants to keep this mismatched and broken little group together. He gives up after this one.
He’s across the room, talking to Sawyer. She’d go up and talk to him, say her hellos, be polite, but she can’t, because this entire time she’s been avoiding the hell out of Sawyer. She doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t want to talk to him, doesn’t want to rehash the mess they’ve made. So she stays in her corner, chatting with Sun, making the appropriate remarks and keeping up with the conversation, even if it’s going in one ear and out the next. Her mind is only half there.
It’s after everyone splits up, just over three hours after this party began, that she finally catches up with him. Or, to be correct, he catches up with her.
“Kate.” It’s a disembodied voice in the dark, before he steps out of the shadows and into the dim light of the street lamps.
He startles her. She hadn’t heard him coming up behind her. “Hey.”
“I thought you had left a while ago.” He says. She’d slipped out twenty minutes ago, thinking she was ready to go home. She wasn’t. Something had held her there.
“Just needed some fresh air.” There’s nothing fresh about this air, but she breathes it in all the same, if just to prove her story.
It doesn’t matter though. He knows she’s lying, and she knows that he knows. Sayid’s always been able to see right through people, she knows that now. It makes her wish that they’d listened to them all those times when they’d gone along with Jack or Locke, all those times when something had gone wrong. She thinks it might have saved a few lives.
He smiles anyway, doesn’t call her on it. He picks his battles, and here the why isn’t important. “Don’t stay out here too long.”
“Worried about me?” She asks, wryly.
“I would worry about anyone in the middle of Los Angeles at night.” It reminds her of Jack, and then at the same time it just contrasts them. Jack, if he was here (she doesn’t know where he is; he didn’t show), would’ve all but forced her into her car and home, because he thought she couldn’t take care of herself, or at least that’s the way he acted. Sayid won’t do that. He might warn her, but he won’t try to control her. “Good night, Kate.”
It’s odd that this is probably the last time they’ll see each other, and all he says is ‘good night’. It seems like there would be more left to say. He probably doesn’t think all that much about her, about the island. He’s done enough shit in his life, had enough bad experiences that he’s probably learned to push them away. She’s had experiences she’d rather forget too. Difference is she can’t just ignore them. She dreams about them, both at night and in the day.
This will not be another thing she dreams about, another ‘what if’.
“Sayid,” she says, getting him to stop in his tracks, and turn around. Of course now the problem is she doesn’t know what she wanted to say. Or what she wants to say out loud. She settles on, “Do you ever wonder what life would be like now if things had been different on the island?”
He frowns, nearly imperceptibly, and tells her, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
It’s her badly worded question. They all wonder about if things had been different. Just not necessarily in the ways she’s thinking of. “I mean if you hadn’t been with Shannon…” she stops as she watches something flicker in his eyes, and she realizes Shannon still isn’t a topic he’s very fond of. Another skeleton in the closet.
Even so, he picks up where she leaves off, “And you hadn’t spent all your time attempting to capture Jack and Sawyer’s attentions?”
She looks down, blushes, because it sounds so stupid. Why is she even thinking about it now, over a year after the fact? It’s too late for anything to be done about it.
“I do.” This surprises her. Kate looks back up at him, finds him looking straight at her. He’s not embarrassed or nervous at all by the topic. She always thought he would be. It hits her that there’s a lot she doesn’t know about him. “But that’s not who we are anymore. We can think about what could’ve been but it will never change anything.”
“I know,” she replies, quietly. “No going back, right?”
“Right.”
She lets him leave then. She never says goodbye or good night. She doesn’t feel the need to. Kate stays there until she hears him drive off, and then she gets in her own car with a heavy heart.
Kate can look in the rearview mirror, see herself in the faint lights. She doesn’t see a girl who needs to use people to her advantage, to use them against each other (and that was it with Jack and Sawyer wasn’t it?). She doesn’t see a girl who takes unnecessary risks just to prove herself. She sees a woman who knows she can take of herself, who’s accepted her flaws and tried to stop running. And she sees a woman who wished she’d taken the other road, the one less traveled.
They would’ve been perfect, she thinks, as she starts the car. They would’ve brought out the best in each other, and they sure as hell wouldn’t be where they are right now.
Of course, things don’t usually work out the way you think they will.
Fandom: Lost
Characters/Pairings: Kate/Sayid
Prompt:
zelda_zee wanted Sayid fic, but also for #72 - Pensive at
100moods
Word Count: 1,069
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Sayid is the person she wonders the most about after they get off the island.
Sayid is the one person she wonders the most about after they get off the island.
Of course, that’s not to say he’s the person that she thinks about the most (he’s not), it’s just that her thoughts will wander and she’ll end up in some daydream of how things could’ve turned out differently if it had been him that had taken Sawyer or Jack’s place in that fucked-up triangle that she’s all but done with now.
He’s a missed opportunity, Kate thinks, sometimes, and that’s never quite sat well with her.
She sees him at a gathering once. It’s not a reunion, since only thirteen of them show up. Hurley organizes it, Hurley who still hasn’t quite let go and let the past just be the past, who wants to keep this mismatched and broken little group together. He gives up after this one.
He’s across the room, talking to Sawyer. She’d go up and talk to him, say her hellos, be polite, but she can’t, because this entire time she’s been avoiding the hell out of Sawyer. She doesn’t want to see him, doesn’t want to talk to him, doesn’t want to rehash the mess they’ve made. So she stays in her corner, chatting with Sun, making the appropriate remarks and keeping up with the conversation, even if it’s going in one ear and out the next. Her mind is only half there.
It’s after everyone splits up, just over three hours after this party began, that she finally catches up with him. Or, to be correct, he catches up with her.
“Kate.” It’s a disembodied voice in the dark, before he steps out of the shadows and into the dim light of the street lamps.
He startles her. She hadn’t heard him coming up behind her. “Hey.”
“I thought you had left a while ago.” He says. She’d slipped out twenty minutes ago, thinking she was ready to go home. She wasn’t. Something had held her there.
“Just needed some fresh air.” There’s nothing fresh about this air, but she breathes it in all the same, if just to prove her story.
It doesn’t matter though. He knows she’s lying, and she knows that he knows. Sayid’s always been able to see right through people, she knows that now. It makes her wish that they’d listened to them all those times when they’d gone along with Jack or Locke, all those times when something had gone wrong. She thinks it might have saved a few lives.
He smiles anyway, doesn’t call her on it. He picks his battles, and here the why isn’t important. “Don’t stay out here too long.”
“Worried about me?” She asks, wryly.
“I would worry about anyone in the middle of Los Angeles at night.” It reminds her of Jack, and then at the same time it just contrasts them. Jack, if he was here (she doesn’t know where he is; he didn’t show), would’ve all but forced her into her car and home, because he thought she couldn’t take care of herself, or at least that’s the way he acted. Sayid won’t do that. He might warn her, but he won’t try to control her. “Good night, Kate.”
It’s odd that this is probably the last time they’ll see each other, and all he says is ‘good night’. It seems like there would be more left to say. He probably doesn’t think all that much about her, about the island. He’s done enough shit in his life, had enough bad experiences that he’s probably learned to push them away. She’s had experiences she’d rather forget too. Difference is she can’t just ignore them. She dreams about them, both at night and in the day.
This will not be another thing she dreams about, another ‘what if’.
“Sayid,” she says, getting him to stop in his tracks, and turn around. Of course now the problem is she doesn’t know what she wanted to say. Or what she wants to say out loud. She settles on, “Do you ever wonder what life would be like now if things had been different on the island?”
He frowns, nearly imperceptibly, and tells her, “I’m not sure I know what you mean.”
It’s her badly worded question. They all wonder about if things had been different. Just not necessarily in the ways she’s thinking of. “I mean if you hadn’t been with Shannon…” she stops as she watches something flicker in his eyes, and she realizes Shannon still isn’t a topic he’s very fond of. Another skeleton in the closet.
Even so, he picks up where she leaves off, “And you hadn’t spent all your time attempting to capture Jack and Sawyer’s attentions?”
She looks down, blushes, because it sounds so stupid. Why is she even thinking about it now, over a year after the fact? It’s too late for anything to be done about it.
“I do.” This surprises her. Kate looks back up at him, finds him looking straight at her. He’s not embarrassed or nervous at all by the topic. She always thought he would be. It hits her that there’s a lot she doesn’t know about him. “But that’s not who we are anymore. We can think about what could’ve been but it will never change anything.”
“I know,” she replies, quietly. “No going back, right?”
“Right.”
She lets him leave then. She never says goodbye or good night. She doesn’t feel the need to. Kate stays there until she hears him drive off, and then she gets in her own car with a heavy heart.
Kate can look in the rearview mirror, see herself in the faint lights. She doesn’t see a girl who needs to use people to her advantage, to use them against each other (and that was it with Jack and Sawyer wasn’t it?). She doesn’t see a girl who takes unnecessary risks just to prove herself. She sees a woman who knows she can take of herself, who’s accepted her flaws and tried to stop running. And she sees a woman who wished she’d taken the other road, the one less traveled.
They would’ve been perfect, she thinks, as she starts the car. They would’ve brought out the best in each other, and they sure as hell wouldn’t be where they are right now.
Of course, things don’t usually work out the way you think they will.