Thank you! No, actually, this isn't the one I've been so worried about. That one is coming up tomorrow hopefully. This is just something I started and finished today.
I'm glad the plot wasn't too out of the blue because this is one of those stories that I made up as I went along.
I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!
That last part came to me after an hour of saying I was going to have to scrap this, and it seemed like the perfect place to end.
You know after "Abandoned" and seeing how she was before her dad died my heart just about broke from her, because for those years before the island it looked like she did a lot of pretending to be someone she wasn't, due to circumstances.
And you know, she seems very observant so it wouldn't surprise me that she watched them too.
I seem to be saying this a lot at the Luau already, but it does apply so... SHINY! :)
This piece feels very true - the characters are believable, I like that you don't over-explain the AU nature of the situation, but that you don't ignore it either. I absolutely LOVE how you use both setting/situation and physical details here. The bit that really leapt out at me was this:
Her hair is a mess from the wind, the ends that frame her face sticky from her lip gloss, and, as one of her friends pointed out, there are dark circles under her eyes that no amount of concealer was covering.
But I also dug the descriptions of posture, the way Shannon's shoes pinch her feet, the increased vibration from the bike as she draws near... well-wrought stuff.
I seem to be saying this a lot at the Luau already, but it does apply so... SHINY! :)
LOL, whatever works. I happen to like that term.
I've done so many AU's at this point it just feels repetitive to explain the hell out of it. People know she's dead, it's obvious that this is AU, it doesn't have to have explanation IMO, but at the same time you can't pretend it's not. It's a fine line.
I acutally love that part too, one of the few images I was totally sure of, so I'm glad it worked for you too :)
I don't hear a lot about my descriptions (although that's starting to change) so I really appreciate you saying that -- it means a lot to me.
I can totally feel her pain. Lipgloss and wind = not a good combo.
Getting a motorcycle is totally something Jack would do out of some sort of desperation, not a midlife crisis, but some other kind. The last line made me giggle.
Well the prompt is what gave me the motorcycle idea obviously, but it fits with him when you think about it. But I know what you mean, it's a certain kind of desperation.
You know, a lot of people like that last line. Interesting.
Well I've always loved Jack/Shannon just never really got around to writing much with them. And anything that's got Shannon in it has to have Boone mentioned somewhere, likewise with Jack and Kate. They are too integral to the others storyline.
Thats true. I think even if you don't want to see the romance between Shannon and Boone, they were step siblings right? They were family so that would had a great deal of influence.
And Jack and Kate were almost the storyline from the first episode.
Yeah, they were step-siblings, such a semi-young age too, so they were major parts of each others lives. Of course, I'm also a Shannon/Boone shipper, so that adds to it.
And yes, Jack and Kate were THE ship. Somehow that seems to have changed since then.
Comments 34
(The comment has been removed)
I'm glad the plot wasn't too out of the blue because this is one of those stories that I made up as I went along.
I'm glad you liked it, and thank you for reading, I really appreciate it!
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
You know after "Abandoned" and seeing how she was before her dad died my heart just about broke from her, because for those years before the island it looked like she did a lot of pretending to be someone she wasn't, due to circumstances.
And you know, she seems very observant so it wouldn't surprise me that she watched them too.
I'm glad you liked it, thanks for reading!
Reply
This piece feels very true - the characters are believable, I like that you don't over-explain the AU nature of the situation, but that you don't ignore it either. I absolutely LOVE how you use both setting/situation and physical details here. The bit that really leapt out at me was this:
Her hair is a mess from the wind, the ends that frame her face sticky from her lip gloss, and, as one of her friends pointed out, there are dark circles under her eyes that no amount of concealer was covering.
But I also dug the descriptions of posture, the way Shannon's shoes pinch her feet, the increased vibration from the bike as she draws near... well-wrought stuff.
*toasts you with a Mai Tai*
Reply
LOL, whatever works. I happen to like that term.
I've done so many AU's at this point it just feels repetitive to explain the hell out of it. People know she's dead, it's obvious that this is AU, it doesn't have to have explanation IMO, but at the same time you can't pretend it's not. It's a fine line.
I acutally love that part too, one of the few images I was totally sure of, so I'm glad it worked for you too :)
I don't hear a lot about my descriptions (although that's starting to change) so I really appreciate you saying that -- it means a lot to me.
Thanks for reading!
*toasts you back*
Reply
Getting a motorcycle is totally something Jack would do out of some sort of desperation, not a midlife crisis, but some other kind. The last line made me giggle.
Reply
Well the prompt is what gave me the motorcycle idea obviously, but it fits with him when you think about it. But I know what you mean, it's a certain kind of desperation.
You know, a lot of people like that last line. Interesting.
Thanks for reading!
Reply
Reply
Thanks for reading!
Reply
And Jack and Kate were almost the storyline from the first episode.
Reply
And yes, Jack and Kate were THE ship. Somehow that seems to have changed since then.
Reply
Leave a comment