Look at all the space
I don't know if anyone still reads LJ. I don't know if that used to matter. It's been a couple of years since I posted regularly, 18 months since I posted at all. And I hate it over on FB. There's no space there. You can't write anything in a space the size of a postage stamp that keeps trying to anticipate your desires. It's like trying to psychoanalyse the talking paper clip from early versions of Office.
I don't know what to say. But that's OK, I didn't always. I just said it. I just loved having space.
Catchup, in case I do what I'm doing tonight and go and read things from 13 years ago in 13 years. I'm working at ACSO in Payroll, I've just reached the halfway point of my psych degree (the one I was talking about starting 13 years ago) with a D in Developmental Psychology, and in a month I head off to India for a couple of weeks. I'm living in Foot-a-scray, technically with Mike and Eris but in practise on my own since he's in the process of moving - over months - to Richmond with his lady friend.
Things are good. That's not something I used to write a lot. I've been saying it for a while. Things are really good. I'm moving somewhere with my life, apparently. I'm working 3 days a week and studying and it really works for me. I haven't had a cigarette in a couple of years and I've massively cut down on drinking. My life is going somewhere. Not sure where. But I no longer feel stuck in a rut, or dragged into a mire.
And things aren't perfect by a long way. Things can actually get better than this, an idea which freaks me the hell out. I'm lonely. I don't catch up with people nearly as much as I'd like, partly because feeling old (quit football recently - that hurt, but was necessary), partly because work and study eating life, partly a zillion other reasons. Being lonely is OK, but I'd rather not. But that's something to improve, not mope about.
Relationships. Dear god. What are they? Maia and I have been in a state of whatever for 8 years now. That's not ever going to go anywhere - forwards, or away. That's a good thing. It'd be nice to have another snuggle buddy. Sex, not so much. Did have some excellent adult alone time today, though. Don't tell the internet.
A letter to the future, of course. That's what you're writing. I wonder if the future is reading?
Catchup done. Watching Daria. Xeno isn't, but it's not really his thing.
I don't know what to say. But that's OK, I didn't always. I just said it. I just loved having space.
Catchup, in case I do what I'm doing tonight and go and read things from 13 years ago in 13 years. I'm working at ACSO in Payroll, I've just reached the halfway point of my psych degree (the one I was talking about starting 13 years ago) with a D in Developmental Psychology, and in a month I head off to India for a couple of weeks. I'm living in Foot-a-scray, technically with Mike and Eris but in practise on my own since he's in the process of moving - over months - to Richmond with his lady friend.
Things are good. That's not something I used to write a lot. I've been saying it for a while. Things are really good. I'm moving somewhere with my life, apparently. I'm working 3 days a week and studying and it really works for me. I haven't had a cigarette in a couple of years and I've massively cut down on drinking. My life is going somewhere. Not sure where. But I no longer feel stuck in a rut, or dragged into a mire.
And things aren't perfect by a long way. Things can actually get better than this, an idea which freaks me the hell out. I'm lonely. I don't catch up with people nearly as much as I'd like, partly because feeling old (quit football recently - that hurt, but was necessary), partly because work and study eating life, partly a zillion other reasons. Being lonely is OK, but I'd rather not. But that's something to improve, not mope about.
Relationships. Dear god. What are they? Maia and I have been in a state of whatever for 8 years now. That's not ever going to go anywhere - forwards, or away. That's a good thing. It'd be nice to have another snuggle buddy. Sex, not so much. Did have some excellent adult alone time today, though. Don't tell the internet.
A letter to the future, of course. That's what you're writing. I wonder if the future is reading?
Catchup done. Watching Daria. Xeno isn't, but it's not really his thing.