Gray would be the color if I had a heart....
It's been a horrible weekend. Horrible. I feel like I'm being torn apart from the inside. My heart feels like it's been torn in half. I swear, I try to say how I feel and everything goes to hell. Everything just keeps getting worse and worse. I try to say how I feel and everything just explodes. It goes wrong. So I either don't need to bother anymore or change how I express myself. I miss someone terribly although he only lives a few minutes away from me. But he doesn't want anything to do w/ me at this point in time, and I guess I don't blame him but I'm still pretty hurt. So yeah. Way to go me for fucking up the relationship w/ the most important person to me. The closest to me. My best friend. I don't know whats going to happen over the next couple of days. I've lost all interest in classes. I dont know what I'm going to or not going to Monday and Tuesday. I really couldn't give a fuck right now. Everything is up in the air. Nothing ever gets better. It's only gotten worse. I don't know what to do about anything anymore. Nothing I ever do is right. It never works. I'm just so tired of screwing everything up. Just wanted to say all that. I'm going to try to sleep although sleep hasn't been easy since last night. I might or might not update later. I'm sorry to everyone I've hurt. All I can do is apologize. If you want me around, fine, if not fine. All I tried to do was say how I was feeling...and, what else is new, it backfired. Steph, I'm sorry I didn't get together w/ you in person but I'm glad we got things worked out. Good luck w/ getting your work done.
In case I don't update, everyone have a good Thanksgiving.
In case I don't update, everyone have a good Thanksgiving.