Another Moment...

Jul 09, 2010 00:01

Title: Another Moment
Pairing: Miranda/Andy
Rating: very tame i think...
Disclaimer: Nope they aren't mine and I promise to put everything back after i've played with them.
Summary: We all have moments... even Miranda.
AN: You might want to read Andy's moment first :)

I've seen her several times but I've never quite felt like this. She's smiling but it's not quite a smile, that must be what is worrying me. It's the kind of smile I put on when I meet Jacqueline or when Irv tries to schmooze me at a benefit.

She's with a man, that unsettles me as well. Last time she was on her own, standing in front of that picture, standing right next to me, not looking and one point not even breathing. She didn't speak so why should I? She didn't speak and yet I didn't feel upset, I most certainly did not feel like... This.

That man has his hand on her hip, keeping her close, protecting her from the dragon lady, as if he knows that in an ideal world she wouldn't be with him she'd be on my arm, she would be mine. He steers her away before I can catch her eye, I only just manage to stop myself from glaring at him as he tightens his grip around her waist. The tales she must have told him that would lead to him ushering her away from me. I shake my head gently as I feel far more upset than I should thinking about what terrible tales she must have told him about the 'dragon lady'. It's a shame really but then again how could she would tell him about the way I watched her enter and leave a room. How could she mention the time I missed 3 dresses on the catwalk in Paris because I was looking at her. Nobody knows those things, especially not her. No no, if there’s anyone in the world I try hardest to hide my attraction from it's her. Sometimes I find myself wondering what would happen if I let her know but too often I imagine her walking away again when she finds out the truth. I couldn't bear her finding out about my feelings and doing nothing about it. Her silence would kill me.

Donatella is wittering on in my ear but I can't bring myself to look away from the young couple across the room. The dress, backless and red, clings to her curves causing my stomach to twist and turn. It's these emotions, the ones she can stir within me just by being in the same room, the emotions that make keeping my face unreadable a challenge. I can't risk letting those emotions getting the better of me and that in itself is a reason why I have never spoken to her, not once, since she left my side in Paris. A part of me let her walk away because I thought she would come back to me. I argue with that side of myself every time she appears in my thoughts. Not because I let her get away but because now I have my own Andrea built up in my mind. I constantly think about my Andrea; what if she stayed, what if I told her how I felt, what if she felt the same way? What if she came back, boldly declaring her feelings for me... these questions fuel my sleepless nights and haunt my subconscious when I finally succumb to the night.

When I watch her laugh and turn to kiss him I'm a wreck inside, outside the Ice Queen Persona moves for no one... not even her. Donatella has left; Emily hasn't even dared to follow me as I make my way out on to the balcony. A secluded spot is where I choose to stand and gaze out into the night sky. I will never take the place of that man, she will never be in my arms, I'll never feel the soft touch of her lips, taste her sweet kiss and because of that I find myself praying to someone or something that it isn't love. Am I so selfish that I wish she was as lonely and broken as I am without her? ... I think I am.

fanfiction, i had a moment, dwp

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