For Danny

[sluttylyingliar]

"Ow, motherfucker!" Rachel exclaims, waiving her mutliated and burned hand away from the hot oil popping out of the pan. "This is so stupid. I hate homework."

Rachel had signed up for the cooking class because it seemed like a mom should be able to cook meals for her family. Is it her fault that she grew up with a cook? Her mom sure as shit never

Comments

[haolehothead]

Danny's bemusement is definitely showing. He's been sitting back and letting Rachel make her own mistakes, but when she starts burning herself, he starts to have second thoughts about the whole thing. "Babe, if you burn down the kitchen, I'm gonna have to both tell on you and arrest you for arson. I'm just saying."

[sluttylyingliar]

"You're supposed to be helping," she accuses, jabbing a hot spatula his way. "You are not helpful sitting there on your pert little ass. Get over here."

[haolehothead]

Danny rolls his eyes as he gets to his feet and grabs an apron to yank over his front to prevent the shirt and tie from getting any stains on them. "So, how come I'm doing your homework? I mean, aren't you getting graded on this? I don't think that's very fair, Rach-Rach."

[sluttylyingliar]

"Okay, first of all if you keep calling me that you're going to lose a testicle," she says with a flounce. "And second, it's not cheating to ask for help. I still have to do it in class. So fix it."

[haolehothead]

"I'm gonna be Uncle Danny, you can't touch me," Danny taunts with a smirk, grabbing a spatula and a stick of butter from the fridge before he joins her and sprinkles some flour on the veggies with his free hand. "Besides, you're already gonna hate me for what I'm about to ask you, so I figure why not go for the gold?"

[sluttylyingliar]

"Oh, Christ what?" she huffs, paying attention but trying not to look like she's paying attention. "What could you possibly not know about me at this point?"

[haolehothead]

Danny kind of hates himself right now, but it's been coming for a long time and so he huffs and eases closer to her. He presses a palm to her stomach and sways for a minute, leaning in so he's close to tell her. "You're gonna be maid of honour while Clark plays best bridesmaid. Except my wedding is in late December," he admits, leaving her to do the math.

[sluttylyingliar]

Rachel grins widely, not getting it at first, just pleased that she was asked. It takes a few beats.

"Wait," she murmurs, face twisting into a thoughtful frown. "Dammmit! I'm going to be all fat, aren't I? I'm going to be a fat maid of honor!"

[haolehothead]

Danny smirks at her and releases hold of her stomach to get back to the cooking, giving her an innocent-seeming wink as he stirs the food in the pan. "Hey, I didn't decide when you got knocked up, so you're gonna live with however you look seeing as I doubt there'll be too many pictures. Just, maybe, the three dozen or so."

[sluttylyingliar]

"I hate you," she mutters without any heat, hooking her chin over his shoulder to watch the progress.

"At least my boobs will be looking really good. I'll just draw all the attention up there and no one will notice my stomach. Oh, hey speaking of. I'm stopping stripping in a few weeks. Gonna bartend."

[haolehothead]

"Good," Danny says, unable to help the pride and the relief that's shining through in his voice. "I mean, in an ideal world, you're doing something related to charity, but this is your life and I know the club means a lot to you. So, good, I'm glad you're switching to something that'll be more comfortable during the pregnancy."

[sluttylyingliar]

"Well," she snorts as Danny totally does her homework. "There's also the extreme unsexy factor."

[haolehothead]

"Please," Danny scoffs. "We live on an island of what, three hundred people? They're lucky they have strippers at all." He pops a veggie into his mouth and makes an approving noise before he leans his hip up against the counter. "And then you've got the honorary strippers like Steve and the other beach bums, who just enjoy taking their shirts off."

[sluttylyingliar]

"Steve would do really well at the club," Rachel says thoughtfully, reaching around him to steal a piece of the stir fry. "Actually, we now officially have more male strippers than female. I need to find a replacement. You'd think with this many good looking, fucked up people, we could find more people willing to strip."

[haolehothead]

"Well, don't look at me," Danny says waving a hand at her to dismiss him. "And maybe it's just a male-clientele only, huh?" he suggests, gesturing to the pan. "Also? Stir. Fry. This is your homework, honey, I'm not doing it all for you so you can fail your class."

[sluttylyingliar]

She mutters something uncharitable at that but does dutifully take back the spatula, shoving the vegetables around. "What about your classes? Doily making or whatever you're taking. I can't remember so I'm just assuming doily making."