(no subject)
i really wanna get my journal back up to scratch. hardly ever update. mainly due to being to busy or being cursed with apathy. but hey, i dont hear any complaints.
im really unhappy about how my exams have gone. ive been too laid back and havent done any revision. have really tried either. execpt the last maths n eng exams where after, i felt really happy id done my best. id really like to get good grades. i gues si just dont deserve them compared to others that work their asses off.i just come out the exams thinking, thats another one crossed off. not feeling any accomplishment. hmm. i know that they say as lng as you do your best. but i dont like the look of dissapointment.
saw the new cure video today. was pretty cool! trippy. reminded me of that..hmm is it jaqui? no, i cant remmberhis name, he sang that 'sledgehammer' song. man i used to love that song when i was younger. yeah nayway, reminded me of that vid.
told him how i felt last night. it hurt. and he says it didnt hurt him. but i know he feels he cant do anything right with me. but he doesnt have any idea how hes the image of perfection to me. or how much he means to me. no idea whatsoever. i hate myself for how iam towards him. i blame previous owners of my affections. things still really have effected me.
its not that im scared. hes my soul mate. and im SO greatfull for everything he does for me. its hard to explain. i begin to explain things to him. then i get too upset n dont finnsh it off, so hes left with the wrong imge of what im trying to say.
things are fraustrating!
"men dont save you any more. but women put me at risk"
heh. there you are beautiful frankus!:D
im really unhappy about how my exams have gone. ive been too laid back and havent done any revision. have really tried either. execpt the last maths n eng exams where after, i felt really happy id done my best. id really like to get good grades. i gues si just dont deserve them compared to others that work their asses off.i just come out the exams thinking, thats another one crossed off. not feeling any accomplishment. hmm. i know that they say as lng as you do your best. but i dont like the look of dissapointment.
saw the new cure video today. was pretty cool! trippy. reminded me of that..hmm is it jaqui? no, i cant remmberhis name, he sang that 'sledgehammer' song. man i used to love that song when i was younger. yeah nayway, reminded me of that vid.
told him how i felt last night. it hurt. and he says it didnt hurt him. but i know he feels he cant do anything right with me. but he doesnt have any idea how hes the image of perfection to me. or how much he means to me. no idea whatsoever. i hate myself for how iam towards him. i blame previous owners of my affections. things still really have effected me.
its not that im scared. hes my soul mate. and im SO greatfull for everything he does for me. its hard to explain. i begin to explain things to him. then i get too upset n dont finnsh it off, so hes left with the wrong imge of what im trying to say.
things are fraustrating!
"men dont save you any more. but women put me at risk"
heh. there you are beautiful frankus!:D