IX
THROUGHOUT HIGH SCHOOL, I FELT VERY SMUG AND I'D STALK AROUND CAMPUS WITH MY EYES SQUINTING, USUALLY WITH ONE OR TWO OTHER GIRLS. I QUIT ATTENDING MOST CLASSES MY JUNIOR YEAR BECAUSE I FELT LIKE I WAS GOING TO START YELLING AND KNOCKING CHAIRS OVER WHEN WE TOOK TESTS/HAD LECTURES ETC., AS I HATED BEING TRAPPED IN A ROOM FOR 53 MINUTE GESTATIONS.
LAST SEPTEMBER, 51 WEEKS AGO, MY BROTHER DIED AND I DECIDED I MIGHT AS WELL GRADUATE IN HIS HONOR INSTEAD OF PUSSING OUT WITH A G.E.D. I PRETENDED HE WAS SMILING AND WAVING FROM THE BLEACHERS WHEN I SHOOK HANDS WITH THE PRINCIPAL AND RECEIVED MY DIPLOMA.
I'VE RECENTLY STARTED COLLEGE AT PIMA WEST BUT IT APPEARS MY CONCENTRATION LEVELS STILL COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE, I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I'VE LEARNED.
OFTEN I WONDER IF IT IS DUE TIME FOR A REKINDLING OF MY OLD, CULTIVATED WAYS -- OR IF I SHOULD BE THROWN IN THE NUTHOUSE FOR A FEW MONTHS AND COME OUT AS A SANE, CAREFREE DEBUTANTE; A BLOSSOM!
"Angst, sometimes called dread, anxiety or even anguish is generally held to be the experience of our freedom and responsibility. The archetypal example is the experience one has when standing on a cliff where one not only fears falling off it, but also dreads the possibility of throwing oneself off."
LAST SEPTEMBER, 51 WEEKS AGO, MY BROTHER DIED AND I DECIDED I MIGHT AS WELL GRADUATE IN HIS HONOR INSTEAD OF PUSSING OUT WITH A G.E.D. I PRETENDED HE WAS SMILING AND WAVING FROM THE BLEACHERS WHEN I SHOOK HANDS WITH THE PRINCIPAL AND RECEIVED MY DIPLOMA.
I'VE RECENTLY STARTED COLLEGE AT PIMA WEST BUT IT APPEARS MY CONCENTRATION LEVELS STILL COME AND GO AS THEY PLEASE, I DON'T REMEMBER ANYTHING I'VE LEARNED.
OFTEN I WONDER IF IT IS DUE TIME FOR A REKINDLING OF MY OLD, CULTIVATED WAYS -- OR IF I SHOULD BE THROWN IN THE NUTHOUSE FOR A FEW MONTHS AND COME OUT AS A SANE, CAREFREE DEBUTANTE; A BLOSSOM!
"Angst, sometimes called dread, anxiety or even anguish is generally held to be the experience of our freedom and responsibility. The archetypal example is the experience one has when standing on a cliff where one not only fears falling off it, but also dreads the possibility of throwing oneself off."