$200 POOPIE
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED ABOUT 2 YEARS AGO. THIS WAS BEFORE MY LIFE WAS COMPLETELY DESTYROYED WHEN THE MONKEYS WENT OUT AND GOT ABOUT 100 STUPID KITTENS.
ONE DAY I WAS FEELING BORED. SO BORED THAT I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE GOING OVER TO THE LITTER BOX TO USE IT. THE NEXT MORNING I NOTICED THAT THE MONKEY HUMANS WERE CHATTERING A LOT AND POINTING AT THE LITTERBOX, THEY THOUGHT THAT SLUG HAD SOMETHING WRONG! SO I DECIDED TO HOLD IT IN FOR A WHILE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED.
THE HUMANS KEPT CHATTERING ABOUT IT AND FINALLY TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR (WHICH I WASN'T SO HAPPY ABOUT). LUCKY FOR ME THOUGH THIS WAS A REAL VET AND NOT SOME BUTCHER NUT-JOB DOCTOR LIKE THE MONKEY HUMAN CLAIMS TO BE. I'D HATE FOR THEM TO CUT MY HEAD OFF AND SEW IT TO MY PAW OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ANYWAY, THE VET DID A FEW THINGS, TOOK A STUPID X-RAY (I GOT TO SEE MY POOPIES STUCK IN MY INTESTINE!) AND THEN (SLUG DIDN'T LIKE THIS PART) GAVE ME A NEEDLE.
THEN THE HUMAN TOOK ME HOME AND I WENT IN THE LITTERBOX AND MADE A POOPIE. BIG DEAL. THE FUNNY PART WAS THAT WHEN THE GIRL HUMAN CAME HOME, THE BOY HUMAN CHATTERED ANGRILY WITH HER AND POINTED TO A PIECE OF PAPER HE HAD IN HIS HAND. LATER ON, I LOOKED AT THE PAPER -- IT WAS A BILL FROM THE VET FOR $200! THAT WAS EXTREMELY FUNNY -- $200 TO MAKE ME GO TO THE BATHROOM. A $200 POOPIE! THAT MADE ME EXTREMELY SATISFIED -- THE MOST EXPENSIVE POOPIE IN HISTORY AND SLUG GOT TO MAKE IT. TOO BAD THEY SIMPLY SCOOPED IT OUT OF THE LITTERBOX AND THREW IT AWAY LATER. THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT!
ONE DAY I WAS FEELING BORED. SO BORED THAT I DIDN'T EVEN FEEL LIKE GOING OVER TO THE LITTER BOX TO USE IT. THE NEXT MORNING I NOTICED THAT THE MONKEY HUMANS WERE CHATTERING A LOT AND POINTING AT THE LITTERBOX, THEY THOUGHT THAT SLUG HAD SOMETHING WRONG! SO I DECIDED TO HOLD IT IN FOR A WHILE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENED.
THE HUMANS KEPT CHATTERING ABOUT IT AND FINALLY TOOK ME TO THE DOCTOR (WHICH I WASN'T SO HAPPY ABOUT). LUCKY FOR ME THOUGH THIS WAS A REAL VET AND NOT SOME BUTCHER NUT-JOB DOCTOR LIKE THE MONKEY HUMAN CLAIMS TO BE. I'D HATE FOR THEM TO CUT MY HEAD OFF AND SEW IT TO MY PAW OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT. ANYWAY, THE VET DID A FEW THINGS, TOOK A STUPID X-RAY (I GOT TO SEE MY POOPIES STUCK IN MY INTESTINE!) AND THEN (SLUG DIDN'T LIKE THIS PART) GAVE ME A NEEDLE.
THEN THE HUMAN TOOK ME HOME AND I WENT IN THE LITTERBOX AND MADE A POOPIE. BIG DEAL. THE FUNNY PART WAS THAT WHEN THE GIRL HUMAN CAME HOME, THE BOY HUMAN CHATTERED ANGRILY WITH HER AND POINTED TO A PIECE OF PAPER HE HAD IN HIS HAND. LATER ON, I LOOKED AT THE PAPER -- IT WAS A BILL FROM THE VET FOR $200! THAT WAS EXTREMELY FUNNY -- $200 TO MAKE ME GO TO THE BATHROOM. A $200 POOPIE! THAT MADE ME EXTREMELY SATISFIED -- THE MOST EXPENSIVE POOPIE IN HISTORY AND SLUG GOT TO MAKE IT. TOO BAD THEY SIMPLY SCOOPED IT OUT OF THE LITTERBOX AND THREW IT AWAY LATER. THEY SHOULD HAVE KEPT IT!