Then She Said Yes
It was not expressed with capital letters, and she barely made any sound. She let her knees get a little bit tired, and they drew down the rest of her willpower. She didn't know she would, not even after buying the ticket / renting the car / traveling hundreds of miles for no reason but - . Familiar, former, remembered but never fulfilling. Shorter, less, retracted, withheld - plenty of reasons to say no. She suspected the risk would be strong, but still, she wasn't convinced until she encountered … what precipitated it again in the first (last / most recent) place. It ached, it bled along its own routes, and it outlined each hormonal blip in a neon pink.
At home there were always plenty of colors, but they were less vivid and required more concentration. The fact of being able to surrender upon mere thought or mere proximity is a gift she would like to run down to a scruff, to wear off like the polish on fine shoes. She can't bear having them in her closet with the shine like that. She wants to be able to put them away with plenty of memories. She gets over everything else - why not this? Otherwise this will continue as-is, itchy, difficult, invasive. She so wants to overcome him.
So far, she's actually said nothing that has not upset at least three people.
Mostly, only, "no."
At home there were always plenty of colors, but they were less vivid and required more concentration. The fact of being able to surrender upon mere thought or mere proximity is a gift she would like to run down to a scruff, to wear off like the polish on fine shoes. She can't bear having them in her closet with the shine like that. She wants to be able to put them away with plenty of memories. She gets over everything else - why not this? Otherwise this will continue as-is, itchy, difficult, invasive. She so wants to overcome him.
So far, she's actually said nothing that has not upset at least three people.
Mostly, only, "no."