I won't ever be happy again.
Dubbya Tee Eff.
Being oblivious, while it has it upsides in the fact that petty things don't matter...isn't always so hot. As discovered Sat/Sun/Today, it turns out I care even more when I find out about things suddenly without awares as compared to having a gut feeling all along. Especially since in my mind things were going in the COMPLETE opposite direction. And I has just begun to like that idea even. Really really like it actually.
Who's dumb enough not to know that once you really like something, it's bound to change? I gave it long enough, more than long enough, to do so.
I hate myself for being upset. I hate that I am the same and yet different. And yet completely the same and no different. And completely changed and not at all the same. The fact that my mind numbs it makes it worse when the feelings actually break through that. AHH I HATE THIS WHOLE ENTRY. WHO TALKS ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN IT WAS NOTHING AT ALL? Less than nothing, in fact.
The problem is that as much as no one but myself is to blame, I have to take it out on others. There isn't another way to do it. Which makes me even more upset. I think I'm more upset over the fact that I'm so upset than I am about the actual situation. No that's a lie. Maybe.
Dubbya Tee Eff.
Being oblivious, while it has it upsides in the fact that petty things don't matter...isn't always so hot. As discovered Sat/Sun/Today, it turns out I care even more when I find out about things suddenly without awares as compared to having a gut feeling all along. Especially since in my mind things were going in the COMPLETE opposite direction. And I has just begun to like that idea even. Really really like it actually.
Who's dumb enough not to know that once you really like something, it's bound to change? I gave it long enough, more than long enough, to do so.
I hate myself for being upset. I hate that I am the same and yet different. And yet completely the same and no different. And completely changed and not at all the same. The fact that my mind numbs it makes it worse when the feelings actually break through that. AHH I HATE THIS WHOLE ENTRY. WHO TALKS ABOUT SOMETHING LIKE THIS WHEN IT WAS NOTHING AT ALL? Less than nothing, in fact.
The problem is that as much as no one but myself is to blame, I have to take it out on others. There isn't another way to do it. Which makes me even more upset. I think I'm more upset over the fact that I'm so upset than I am about the actual situation. No that's a lie. Maybe.
Dubbya Tee Eff.