It's National Spay & Neuter Month... this is sort of related.
Alright, I did pretty good. As soon as my parents & Abby left this morning I started to tear up pretty bad, but thankfully Dave answered his phone and I talked to him and felt loads better.
It's so rough when Abby leaves or when I leave her. I don't even think she sees me as her momma anymore, she just assumes my parents are her pack now and that's who she belongs to. I'm just a fun person she gets to stay with sometimes. sigh. I know I'll get her back one day and she'll officially be mine again, but it just hurts a lot right now that I'm in this situation. But the most important thing is that she is happy and healthy with my parents. She has a great life, and as her mom, isn't that what I should give her at all times?
Some people questioned mine and Ryan's decision to get a puppy when we did. But, we figured, we knew enough to do it. He had experience with dogs, I was willing to learn, we were OK with money, we lived together, we thought we were staying together, so why not? We knew all the responsibilities, read the books, etc. But, just one short year later, our lives did a complete 180. We were breaking up, I was moving out, and where was Abby going to end up? I took her in the end because I was "better at taking care of her", I knew her better, and I was the one that did all her training to begin with. Plus, I had my parents' help financially. It was the logical decision, but that didn't make it any easier. I agonized over the situation, that no matter who ended up with her, the other person was going to be seriously hurt.
Then, I moved up here, and couldn't keep her with me because she was too big. For a moment, I was about to send her to a shelter, again, for the third time in her short life, because when I called him he said he couldn't handle the responsibility. This dog who we made a promise to to love her always and to always keep her and take care of her the rest of her life, was now in jeopardy of trying to find a new home again because of two ignorant twentysomethings who wanted to play mom & dad and thought it would last forever.
I love that dog like she is my own child. I've watched her grow and learn, watched her go through all her different phases, cleaned up her countless messes, have spent hundreds of dollars on squeaky toys because I know she loves them so much, have gotten so mad at her I couldn't look at her for hours, and have been in awe of her patience with me as I struggled to raise her from a wild & unruly puppy into a good dog. I have a half-eaten sofa cushion in my living room, have bathed poop off of her more times than I would have liked, have cleaned poop off of my own bed once or twice, and I got off easy with her. I have to admit, I've even regretted adopting her from time to time, thinking she would have been so much better off with someone else. But I have never given up on her, as she has never given up on me, and that's the point I'm trying to make I suppose.
It makes me crazy when people who were just like Ryan and myself adopt puppies because they think it'll be fun, because they think it'll be cute and just like having a child of their own. But, puppies grow into dogs. They stop being so cute that they can do no wrong and start being adolescents and then adult dogs who can really do some damage when they misbehave. They cost money, A LOT of money. They require training, and not just your basic sit & stay or your cutesy trick or two. You have to raise them almost like you do a human child, and just like human children, they will be in your care for the next 15-19 years. It is a very serious commitment, and so often, people will take their now-adult holy terrors of dogs back to shelters where they spend months trying to find a new home.
Just for good measure, this is a lovely list a friend put together for me for people thinking about getting a puppy:
Think you are ready?
The most common age for young dogs to be given up to shelters or abandoned is between 6-10 months old. Often the reason is given as "he chews everything", "he won't be potty trained", or "he jumps up on people" .
Be sure you know what type of dog is a good fit for your family, your lifestyle and your time commitments. A dog should be with YOU for the entirety of his or her life. Make it a good one!
So, for those who haven't had a puppy before, or those who haven't been puppy owners for many years..(oh how easy it is to forget how our now perfect adult dog was once a terror!) I am posting this information for you.
1/ Puppies grow up to be dogs. (and large breed puppies grow up to be LARGE dogs!) Research breeds, personalities, REPUTABLE breeders, veterinarians etc BEFORE you get a puppy.
2/Puppies can take up to a year to housebreak completely and for the first 5-6 months often need very frequent potty breaks. Make sure you have the time to do it!
3/Housesoiling accidents happen...but they happen because YOU (the human..you know, the one with the opposable thumbs) did not supervise or stick to a schedule for your pup. This is NOT the pup's fault.
4/Puppies go through several chewing stages. One is the "teething" stage..and just like human infants they are uncomfortable and have painful gums. Provide them with cold/soft chew toys. The second stage is around 6-8 months and just because your pup hasn't chewed anything since he was 14 weeks old does not mean he won't do it now. Crate him, puppyproof your home and provide him with proper chewing supplies. If you don't want the remote eaten then don't leave it where your pup can get it. Simple as that.
5/Puppies chew on people too. Socialize your pup well with other dogs to help teach bite inhibition and teach him that human skin is not for his consumption. Give him something he SHOULD be chewing on and withdraw your attention whenever those razor sharp teeth nip you. No punishment is necessary.
6/Jumping up is a way for pup to be near your face, dogs greet each other's faces (after the prerequisite butt sniff) and if you allow your pup to snuggle up and kiss your face as an infant he will certainly not realize it is not okay to do this when he is full grown. Train a good sit (which takes TIME people!) and reward him by getting down and snuggling at his level.
7/Take your pup to a good obedience class/puppy kindergarten as soon as your vet will allow. Be consistent with the training and rewards and be patient...your dog doesn't "know" how to do anything until you have repeated the exercise hundreds of times in hundreds of situations. Keep your expectations realistic and do not give up! Remember that training is a lifetime commitment...you don't take just one puppy class and figure you're done.
8/Do not assume any behaviours that you are thinking are bad are abnormal BUT be sure to ask an expert whenever you are not sure. Resource guarding, fear of people/dogs etc can go from minor irritations to serious issues if not dealt with when they first occur. Use your veterinarian and your puppy trainer as resources for what is normal, what is not and how to deal with it.
9/Feed him good food. Give him good vet care. Groom him regularly and exercise him (this requires financial expense AND time).
10/Enjoy your pup's crazy first year (or first three years..depending on breed). You may wish it be over..but it is a special time and you will eventually get over the eaten sofa and chewed Jimmy Choos and look back in fondness.
I don't know why this turned into such a rant about dog ownership. I'm just sick of irresponsible people [sometimes I include myself in that category], and I like to think that someone somewhere might see this and take a second look at their decision to get a puppy. It's National Spay & Neuter Month, so I think this is what is making me think of responsible pet ownership.
I love Abby. She will always be my dog, my best friend, and my baby. She has taught me so much in her short time with me, and I am looking forward to so many more years as her momma. Everyone deserves a dog like her, she's one-of-a-kind.
But please, please, PLEASE, go through every single scenerio in your head before heading to a shelter or reputable breeder. Think of the worst situation possible that a puppy could be in with you, and then times it by five, and think about whether or not you still want one. Talk to everyone, find a vet to talk to, a behaviorist, other dog owners. Be so well-educated about your decision that no one will second-guess you.
When you finally think you're absolutely ready, head to your local shelters and humane societies.
I can recommend lots of good books & behaviorists to read up on, I'm pretty good with dog nutrition [just don't ask me about raw diets...], and I might be able to help with minor behavioral problems. And I'm not preaching, I just really wanted to make a post about this, that's all, because it's an extremely important issue to me.
So, here's to dogs! Thank God for them.
It's so rough when Abby leaves or when I leave her. I don't even think she sees me as her momma anymore, she just assumes my parents are her pack now and that's who she belongs to. I'm just a fun person she gets to stay with sometimes. sigh. I know I'll get her back one day and she'll officially be mine again, but it just hurts a lot right now that I'm in this situation. But the most important thing is that she is happy and healthy with my parents. She has a great life, and as her mom, isn't that what I should give her at all times?
Some people questioned mine and Ryan's decision to get a puppy when we did. But, we figured, we knew enough to do it. He had experience with dogs, I was willing to learn, we were OK with money, we lived together, we thought we were staying together, so why not? We knew all the responsibilities, read the books, etc. But, just one short year later, our lives did a complete 180. We were breaking up, I was moving out, and where was Abby going to end up? I took her in the end because I was "better at taking care of her", I knew her better, and I was the one that did all her training to begin with. Plus, I had my parents' help financially. It was the logical decision, but that didn't make it any easier. I agonized over the situation, that no matter who ended up with her, the other person was going to be seriously hurt.
Then, I moved up here, and couldn't keep her with me because she was too big. For a moment, I was about to send her to a shelter, again, for the third time in her short life, because when I called him he said he couldn't handle the responsibility. This dog who we made a promise to to love her always and to always keep her and take care of her the rest of her life, was now in jeopardy of trying to find a new home again because of two ignorant twentysomethings who wanted to play mom & dad and thought it would last forever.
I love that dog like she is my own child. I've watched her grow and learn, watched her go through all her different phases, cleaned up her countless messes, have spent hundreds of dollars on squeaky toys because I know she loves them so much, have gotten so mad at her I couldn't look at her for hours, and have been in awe of her patience with me as I struggled to raise her from a wild & unruly puppy into a good dog. I have a half-eaten sofa cushion in my living room, have bathed poop off of her more times than I would have liked, have cleaned poop off of my own bed once or twice, and I got off easy with her. I have to admit, I've even regretted adopting her from time to time, thinking she would have been so much better off with someone else. But I have never given up on her, as she has never given up on me, and that's the point I'm trying to make I suppose.
It makes me crazy when people who were just like Ryan and myself adopt puppies because they think it'll be fun, because they think it'll be cute and just like having a child of their own. But, puppies grow into dogs. They stop being so cute that they can do no wrong and start being adolescents and then adult dogs who can really do some damage when they misbehave. They cost money, A LOT of money. They require training, and not just your basic sit & stay or your cutesy trick or two. You have to raise them almost like you do a human child, and just like human children, they will be in your care for the next 15-19 years. It is a very serious commitment, and so often, people will take their now-adult holy terrors of dogs back to shelters where they spend months trying to find a new home.
Just for good measure, this is a lovely list a friend put together for me for people thinking about getting a puppy:
Think you are ready?
The most common age for young dogs to be given up to shelters or abandoned is between 6-10 months old. Often the reason is given as "he chews everything", "he won't be potty trained", or "he jumps up on people" .
Be sure you know what type of dog is a good fit for your family, your lifestyle and your time commitments. A dog should be with YOU for the entirety of his or her life. Make it a good one!
So, for those who haven't had a puppy before, or those who haven't been puppy owners for many years..(oh how easy it is to forget how our now perfect adult dog was once a terror!) I am posting this information for you.
1/ Puppies grow up to be dogs. (and large breed puppies grow up to be LARGE dogs!) Research breeds, personalities, REPUTABLE breeders, veterinarians etc BEFORE you get a puppy.
2/Puppies can take up to a year to housebreak completely and for the first 5-6 months often need very frequent potty breaks. Make sure you have the time to do it!
3/Housesoiling accidents happen...but they happen because YOU (the human..you know, the one with the opposable thumbs) did not supervise or stick to a schedule for your pup. This is NOT the pup's fault.
4/Puppies go through several chewing stages. One is the "teething" stage..and just like human infants they are uncomfortable and have painful gums. Provide them with cold/soft chew toys. The second stage is around 6-8 months and just because your pup hasn't chewed anything since he was 14 weeks old does not mean he won't do it now. Crate him, puppyproof your home and provide him with proper chewing supplies. If you don't want the remote eaten then don't leave it where your pup can get it. Simple as that.
5/Puppies chew on people too. Socialize your pup well with other dogs to help teach bite inhibition and teach him that human skin is not for his consumption. Give him something he SHOULD be chewing on and withdraw your attention whenever those razor sharp teeth nip you. No punishment is necessary.
6/Jumping up is a way for pup to be near your face, dogs greet each other's faces (after the prerequisite butt sniff) and if you allow your pup to snuggle up and kiss your face as an infant he will certainly not realize it is not okay to do this when he is full grown. Train a good sit (which takes TIME people!) and reward him by getting down and snuggling at his level.
7/Take your pup to a good obedience class/puppy kindergarten as soon as your vet will allow. Be consistent with the training and rewards and be patient...your dog doesn't "know" how to do anything until you have repeated the exercise hundreds of times in hundreds of situations. Keep your expectations realistic and do not give up! Remember that training is a lifetime commitment...you don't take just one puppy class and figure you're done.
8/Do not assume any behaviours that you are thinking are bad are abnormal BUT be sure to ask an expert whenever you are not sure. Resource guarding, fear of people/dogs etc can go from minor irritations to serious issues if not dealt with when they first occur. Use your veterinarian and your puppy trainer as resources for what is normal, what is not and how to deal with it.
9/Feed him good food. Give him good vet care. Groom him regularly and exercise him (this requires financial expense AND time).
10/Enjoy your pup's crazy first year (or first three years..depending on breed). You may wish it be over..but it is a special time and you will eventually get over the eaten sofa and chewed Jimmy Choos and look back in fondness.
I don't know why this turned into such a rant about dog ownership. I'm just sick of irresponsible people [sometimes I include myself in that category], and I like to think that someone somewhere might see this and take a second look at their decision to get a puppy. It's National Spay & Neuter Month, so I think this is what is making me think of responsible pet ownership.
I love Abby. She will always be my dog, my best friend, and my baby. She has taught me so much in her short time with me, and I am looking forward to so many more years as her momma. Everyone deserves a dog like her, she's one-of-a-kind.
But please, please, PLEASE, go through every single scenerio in your head before heading to a shelter or reputable breeder. Think of the worst situation possible that a puppy could be in with you, and then times it by five, and think about whether or not you still want one. Talk to everyone, find a vet to talk to, a behaviorist, other dog owners. Be so well-educated about your decision that no one will second-guess you.
When you finally think you're absolutely ready, head to your local shelters and humane societies.
I can recommend lots of good books & behaviorists to read up on, I'm pretty good with dog nutrition [just don't ask me about raw diets...], and I might be able to help with minor behavioral problems. And I'm not preaching, I just really wanted to make a post about this, that's all, because it's an extremely important issue to me.
So, here's to dogs! Thank God for them.