reading to get all this shit off my mind..
Figured I'd post a good part
of the book I'm recently reading;
The Burn Journals
by Brent Runyon
The next morning, I woke up early and walked on the beach, listening to my walkman. Everything was so still, like nothing had ever happened, and I remember how I had the music turned up really loud to help get out my bad feelings, and I started dancing around in the sand with my eyes closed like a crazy person. Just spinning around in circles and falling down, over and over again. I got so exhausted finally that I fell down and just layed there and stared at the sky, which was white and blank. And then all these bad thoughts came into my head and I started thinking about dying.
I got up and started running as fast as I could, faster than I've ever run, all the way down the beach, and I just felt so good and free, and I thought, I've got to remember this. I've got to remember how this feels. If I ever get so sad again that I want to try and kill myself, then I've got to remember how good this feels and that'll help me get through those feelings.
Somehow, I never could remember how good that felt, though. I remember thinking that it felt good and trying to remember, but I never could.