Pouncer has brought about the truth .___.
Yeah nto to be rude towards him or anything becasue I loof him, but hes got me in the slumps, and I guess I ahve no chocie but to tell why, so then maybe he'll realize it and stop being so down
Well firstly some lately has gone towards the S word ._.
The other thing goes back to 3-5 years ago..
I was around 12 maybe 14, I was starting a new school and I wasnt happy ._.
Anyways lets go back 17 years shall we?
My dad has a real anger problem which of course thanks to bad genetics I recieved, im not tlaking a FUCK YOU BITCH attitude, im talking a slam things into the wall, bust glass, and break things, and venting anger out on Kids attitude..
Now back to the main topic when im 12-14 as most of you might know form the my last journal, one night me and my dad got into a huge arguement and ended up in court for child abuse ._. Trust me, hope your never in the position to plead against your won father..
Anyways, this caused much depression but even before this my mum had gotten a new boyfriend, have you ever had a "gut instinct" where you know you hate someone form the start? Well thats how I was, I depsised him, his name was Steve and I wanted to viciously rip his throat out Oo; Well one day me and him got into a very large fight becasue em and mum had had an argument and I wanted to call my dad.. he unplugged the phone, and took the entire thing up front with him, I started screaming banging my head on walls, running against things.. bascially anything to inflict harm to myself.. I even went as far as to grab a knife, thankfullly (I guess) My mum took the knife form, which at the time only made me angrier I started cussing and screaming yelling and crying beating my head on anything I could, until i reached the door, I swung it open, ran outside, and laid down right in the middle of the street waiting for a car to show up, and just run me down like the scum I was..
My mum knew she obviously wasnt talking sense into me so she called my Granny, the only person in my life I love more than myself.. (thats saying alot) she drove over, and the minute I saw her car drive up, I could see the tears foriming into her eyes, it was horrible.. I had to move, finally once I was locked in my Grannys car I called my Dad on her phone, he cam right over, so here we are all yelling and fighting screaming and cussing and there are people everywhere watching..
Finally my granny left wiht me and we went to her house, when a short time later, mum came to the house to pick me up, of course she got me all upset agian... at this time I had 2 rats.. Vanilla and Chocolate.. I was holding Vanilla she started yelling at me to put the rat up and I said fine, so I set her on the gorund and she ran, I was screaming CATCH MY RAT and my mum thought I was fuckin psycho so she decided to bring me to the hospital for a mental evaluation, I wouldnt go unless Granny went, so she did.. we got there I was examined and they then told me I was going to be transferred to their Childrens Psychiartry ward.. I refused so she threatened with police, I finally gave up and went..
I was then admitted into the hospital for Suicudal thoughts and tendencies for almost 1 month.. I guess they noticed my change in attitude so I was released..
This has since happened to me twice both for my attitude.. I have these sudden moodswings which put me so far in the slums Its unimaginable.. so Im sorry if I have upset anyone by writing this, but it had to be done..
I hope noone thinks less of me, for the things mentioned in this Journal..
Adios...
Well firstly some lately has gone towards the S word ._.
The other thing goes back to 3-5 years ago..
I was around 12 maybe 14, I was starting a new school and I wasnt happy ._.
Anyways lets go back 17 years shall we?
My dad has a real anger problem which of course thanks to bad genetics I recieved, im not tlaking a FUCK YOU BITCH attitude, im talking a slam things into the wall, bust glass, and break things, and venting anger out on Kids attitude..
Now back to the main topic when im 12-14 as most of you might know form the my last journal, one night me and my dad got into a huge arguement and ended up in court for child abuse ._. Trust me, hope your never in the position to plead against your won father..
Anyways, this caused much depression but even before this my mum had gotten a new boyfriend, have you ever had a "gut instinct" where you know you hate someone form the start? Well thats how I was, I depsised him, his name was Steve and I wanted to viciously rip his throat out Oo; Well one day me and him got into a very large fight becasue em and mum had had an argument and I wanted to call my dad.. he unplugged the phone, and took the entire thing up front with him, I started screaming banging my head on walls, running against things.. bascially anything to inflict harm to myself.. I even went as far as to grab a knife, thankfullly (I guess) My mum took the knife form, which at the time only made me angrier I started cussing and screaming yelling and crying beating my head on anything I could, until i reached the door, I swung it open, ran outside, and laid down right in the middle of the street waiting for a car to show up, and just run me down like the scum I was..
My mum knew she obviously wasnt talking sense into me so she called my Granny, the only person in my life I love more than myself.. (thats saying alot) she drove over, and the minute I saw her car drive up, I could see the tears foriming into her eyes, it was horrible.. I had to move, finally once I was locked in my Grannys car I called my Dad on her phone, he cam right over, so here we are all yelling and fighting screaming and cussing and there are people everywhere watching..
Finally my granny left wiht me and we went to her house, when a short time later, mum came to the house to pick me up, of course she got me all upset agian... at this time I had 2 rats.. Vanilla and Chocolate.. I was holding Vanilla she started yelling at me to put the rat up and I said fine, so I set her on the gorund and she ran, I was screaming CATCH MY RAT and my mum thought I was fuckin psycho so she decided to bring me to the hospital for a mental evaluation, I wouldnt go unless Granny went, so she did.. we got there I was examined and they then told me I was going to be transferred to their Childrens Psychiartry ward.. I refused so she threatened with police, I finally gave up and went..
I was then admitted into the hospital for Suicudal thoughts and tendencies for almost 1 month.. I guess they noticed my change in attitude so I was released..
This has since happened to me twice both for my attitude.. I have these sudden moodswings which put me so far in the slums Its unimaginable.. so Im sorry if I have upset anyone by writing this, but it had to be done..
I hope noone thinks less of me, for the things mentioned in this Journal..
Adios...