Life or lack thereof
So, Christmas sucked for me kinda, I went down to my mom's house and we had that old fashioned spend time with your family Christmas which is nice, but on the other hand we ended up having to spend money on my little sister so that she could have a Christmas. I bought her a Gamecube and a bratz came, which did hurt my pockets but it made her happy. My only gift I recieved was a can of peanuts from my mother, who handed them to me because she had nothing to give me. My sister didnt give me anything either, and all my father could send was a text message wishing me Merry Christmas and that he had my sprint bill and my credit card bill. Very nice, my family loves me so much. Christmas is not about gifts and is not about spending money, but it w ould be nice that the gifts or the praisings that I do recieve were good ones. This holiday season has not been very good for me, the only thing that allows me to keep my head up is the fact that I finally got promoted after two months and that I could be getting promoted again in the near future and the thought of being able to get a car is also nice.
Relationships, well, I do not have one anymore. I am still holding onto the love I have for someone right now that I wish would fade away but it just won't. Evertime I think I am doing okay and over the situation, I end up laying in my bed and turning on my cd player and there it is the thoughts, the memories, everything reminds me of something we did. It turns out maybe I am not as strong as I thought I was. I want the feelings to fade, I want to stop loving her, but it turns out it just will not happen. I know it is over, but of course I havent grasped anything yet. I did not see myself in this position that I am in now, no matter what she does or what she did to me, I still will have that burning desire for her, to be with her, to spend my days with her.
Ahh well, what the hell can I do, she is gone and life goes on. I got a 15 dollar gift card from some attractive girl in Blockbuster the other day, but who knows if that will go anywhere. It turns out my luck with girls just is not the best in the world and when I am hurt it sticks, it sticks like shit on velcro. She is very nice, but who knows how interested she truely is. Bought Brad some books for Christmas, bought a few other things, bought Averie a Beatles Cd, since she told me she liked them, I went ahead and bought it anyways. That is it, no one else to buy for.
Anyways, that is really all I can say....I miss her...
That is all.
Relationships, well, I do not have one anymore. I am still holding onto the love I have for someone right now that I wish would fade away but it just won't. Evertime I think I am doing okay and over the situation, I end up laying in my bed and turning on my cd player and there it is the thoughts, the memories, everything reminds me of something we did. It turns out maybe I am not as strong as I thought I was. I want the feelings to fade, I want to stop loving her, but it turns out it just will not happen. I know it is over, but of course I havent grasped anything yet. I did not see myself in this position that I am in now, no matter what she does or what she did to me, I still will have that burning desire for her, to be with her, to spend my days with her.
Ahh well, what the hell can I do, she is gone and life goes on. I got a 15 dollar gift card from some attractive girl in Blockbuster the other day, but who knows if that will go anywhere. It turns out my luck with girls just is not the best in the world and when I am hurt it sticks, it sticks like shit on velcro. She is very nice, but who knows how interested she truely is. Bought Brad some books for Christmas, bought a few other things, bought Averie a Beatles Cd, since she told me she liked them, I went ahead and bought it anyways. That is it, no one else to buy for.
Anyways, that is really all I can say....I miss her...
That is all.