To protect your pies you have a bat.
Via coudal, How To Explain the Rules of Cricket.
You know the big tent at the east end of the county fairgrounds? Next to the show barn? Imagine it’s an oval filled with 90,000 Pakistanis who love to watch pie-eating-who love pie-eating more than soccer-even though it seems to the rest of us that eating pie would be a fairly unpleasant reminder of British Colonialism.
... I still don't really get it, but I do know how to play Hearts!
You know the big tent at the east end of the county fairgrounds? Next to the show barn? Imagine it’s an oval filled with 90,000 Pakistanis who love to watch pie-eating-who love pie-eating more than soccer-even though it seems to the rest of us that eating pie would be a fairly unpleasant reminder of British Colonialism.
... I still don't really get it, but I do know how to play Hearts!