Beautifully Broken

Dec 12, 2005 22:14

So my life has been turned upside down this past couple of days. For the person I trusted, I am not sure if I can continue with this feeling of hurt. I trusted him with my life, but now I don't trust him more than I can stab him. In the past couple days, I don't think I could have cried as much as I have. Sure we can try to work it out, but is it really worth it in the end, because I don't think he sees it. I am worth more than some 35 does, but I need proof. He may not like the type of proof I want, but that is what I want and I will not compromise. He has fucked up more royally than the royal family could ever screw up. Everything we had just was lost in a moment of stupidity. I hope he thought it was worth more than what we ever were. All the great times we had are gone. All of the times of thinking that he is the greatest guy in the world, and thinking what did I do to deserve this. Gone. So here I sit, with nothing to believe in. To think he wants me to forgive him and if he wants me to hate him, it will never happen. Because then it would make it way to easy. I guess I'd rather have him life with the guilt and feel the pain I feel. The funny thing was that..I thought he could never disspoint me and hurt me like he has. He was all that a girl like me wanted..he was funny, had a uniform, and ate sushi. I guess I have to move to Japan for that now. Some people say love is all you need and everything will be okay, but sometimes love is not enough. So I guess this Ashlee Simpson song sums it all up:

It seems like yesterday that my world fell from the sky
It seems like yesterday I didnt know how hard I could cry
It feels like tomorrow I may not get by
But I will try
I will try wipe the tears from my eyes

[Chorus:]
I'm beautifully broken and I don't mind if you know it
I'm beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it

Every day is a new day I'm reminded of my past
Everytime theres another storm I know that it wont last
Every moment I'm filled with hope
cause i get another chance
But I will try I will try
Got nothing left to hide

[Chorus]

Without the highs and the lows
Where will we go?
Where will we go?

[Chorus]

I am beautifully broken, I am beautifully broken
I am beautifully broken and I don't care if I show it
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