(no subject)
Crazy night. I feel nothing but tired, and hopeful that someone would be online, but no one is. I'm soooo socially deprived, because its supposed to be summer and all i'm seeing of my friends are little blurs as they run past on their way to something important. I need...I dunno, cause I was gonna say good lovin, but I'm so grumpy lately its kinda the thing I want most, but at the same time the source of my misery. Complicated lives. And I still cant hear out of my right ear. Stupid swimmer's ear. My face is smooth today. I had a good riding lesson, adn I have a show on saturday, so I should ride tomorrow. I still dont know whether I want to take on the dressage test on sunday. Big decision. That would be really cool if my horse was wonderful at the show and I got ribbons. Course, I usually place in the ribbons, cause they go to eighth place, but I want white, red,...blue, ya know. Dum dee dum. What would make my day tomorrow would be to make someone elses day. I never knew how much people appreciated just hanging around. It didnt connect in my mind that someone would feel the way I do, and would want to do random stuff with me. I wish I wasnt so worried about hurting my knee again, cause I miss out on a lot of stuff. And I'm so paranoid about my legs. I dont want to have to learn how to walk again. I like swimming by myself. All anyone ever wants to do ina pool is play silly Holding Your Breath type games, or they want to dunk you/pull you in. No bueno. I like to dive for quarters. Its such a simple game, but i can play it for hours. I only know how to play in a pool by myself. So jade's party was awkward, cause all these people were around, trying to talk to me, dunk me, and I tried to ignore them but usually ended up giving them a very clear "Go away!" signal. I managed through most of it. Sorry that I'm writing such random shit. I usually write to myself, so when I do write to others through livejournal, its very...hard to follow. Thats enough I think. Bye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!