this childish thing.

[sliver_of_this]

it's a week
into october and this revolution
is fading, they think.

but

there are still mountains
in colorado and waterfalls

in washington.

in between that, my skin
is shaking from the lack
of you. you are this sticky
thing in my veins that keeps
my spontaneous combustion
in check.

i would pretend that
my roots are in your bed

tonight,

but that's silly because
you're in bed with me.

***

there's no better way to start off a new journal than with a poem about someone you totally care about. i am totally devoted and in love. it's amazing. and scary. i hope no one from my home finds this one. if they do, i'll slit my throat and drown them in it.

it's muggy and rainy. i don't like it. i liked colorado because it was crisp and rainy. we got caught in a hail-storm. i wish blue eyes had been there to dance with me. even though it was freezing and the hail would/could/might have hurt.

it's all worth it. the pain. the crying. the swelling. then bleeding. all of it. i'm done giving up. i'm done giving in. i'm going to be selfish from now on. fuck louisiana. fuck family. fuck school. i'm going to see a waterfall and mountains and snow.

i <3 root.