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[slit_throat]

Wow... where do I begin? There's so much that I seriously can't handle right now. The fact that I don't get to see Connie whenever I want or I'm not able to be with her all the time like I'd want. I know I screwed up when I went into her house. I had a bad vibe about it too, I should've been more careful. So now, whenever I need Connie, I have to

Comments

[22constellation]

oh oscar, please. i understand what love is. trust me, i get it. and thinking you are in love with connie could get you into a lot of problems. it has been less than two months oscar, don't put so many emotions into this. i don't care what you feel, remember what i said. you listen to me, and you really should right now.

arguing is healthy and stuff, but you are young. arguments shouldnt happen so much, it should all be like you're best friends and having a wonderful time, all the time.

it may be something to hold on to, but you can not make her your life. do not, and i repeat, do not become so dependent on one person. not only will it be impossible to let her go if something does happen, it simply isnt healthy. she is your girlfriend, not your life.

different people, yes. but you aren't even trying to make the best of your young years. just because your current friends are busy doesn't mean you sit at home all day and then hang out with connie. go do something YOU enjoy, those were just examples of what i enjoy.

connie is not and should not be a huge part of you. people you've known for your life should be. not someone youve known for a month or so. seriously oscar, don't throw these words around. she may mean a lot to you but she is not the only thing that should mean a lot to you. be careful with your words. and your feelings.

xo.

[slit_throat]

you dont seem to realize how gullable i am. but i do love connie regardless of what you say. yeah you're older, but you dont know my feelings. i am careful with my words and my feelings. connie means a lot to me and i love her. im not saying just because she cant go out, i wont go out. but theres nothing to do. i enjoy playing baseball but i cant really do that much anymore ever since i threw out my arm so theres nothing for me to do in this town. i might go to colorado later on this summer... im not sure. most likely i wont be able to.

i try to fake a smile all the time but i end up bringing my ownself down. so what am i supposed to do? i can barely depend on myself, so i depend on someone else because thats how much i honestly do trust connie.

my teenage years have been really crappy and theres nothing for me to do. so i cant really have fun. most of the stuff you like to do costs money, thats one problem. money is something i dont have.

ive tried getting a job, but no one will hire a 15 year-old. so i sit here... thinking of why im so much of a failure...

money is a big issue at my house right now. my mom got laid off about 4 months ago, she barely got a new job last night. so shes temporary and we're barely getting by. do you honestly want to see our frig? we have no food whatsoever. and thats another thing... i cant always go out because i have no money to do stuff. we dont know what we're gonna do for school clothes, but we'll get by. we always do...
but im just saying, its not easy. and i have nothing to do so i just sit here.

i try to do stuff that doesnt involve money. because money is something i or we dont honestly have right now.

so yes, life isnt all thats cracked up to be.
hanging out with friends gets me nowhere, so i sit here.
end of story.
<3