(no subject)
note 1:
last night I had a dream i was playing tag with a bunch of my high school friends. and I was so happy. i forgot how easy it was to have fun with them. we were happy no matter where we were, whether we were in the middle of the woods, wawa, walmart or someones living room. and i miss nikki more than anything. and the fact that shes living in california dealing with everything that happened all by herself isn't fair. she's always going to be a little sister to me and I can't even be there for her. and I feel awful about it. I want my youth back. All of our youth.
note 2:
I went on my first real audition yesterday. I was way too nervous and didn't do very well at all. after I left the room my legs were shaking as I walked down the stairs and i had to stop and breath. why does that happen me. Every time I do something for the first time, no matter how little it is, I freak out and start shaking and am unable to calm down. I remember at work the first time i made drinks behind the bar my hands were shaking and i couldn't stop them. How am I supposed to accomplish anything like that? Fear is just a cloak on top of insecurities.
last night I had a dream i was playing tag with a bunch of my high school friends. and I was so happy. i forgot how easy it was to have fun with them. we were happy no matter where we were, whether we were in the middle of the woods, wawa, walmart or someones living room. and i miss nikki more than anything. and the fact that shes living in california dealing with everything that happened all by herself isn't fair. she's always going to be a little sister to me and I can't even be there for her. and I feel awful about it. I want my youth back. All of our youth.
note 2:
I went on my first real audition yesterday. I was way too nervous and didn't do very well at all. after I left the room my legs were shaking as I walked down the stairs and i had to stop and breath. why does that happen me. Every time I do something for the first time, no matter how little it is, I freak out and start shaking and am unable to calm down. I remember at work the first time i made drinks behind the bar my hands were shaking and i couldn't stop them. How am I supposed to accomplish anything like that? Fear is just a cloak on top of insecurities.